[EveV]

I have some major depression issues that most people I know have no idea about.
I keep a normal state of mind by smoking and composing music. My two major addictions.
When I turn extra depressed theres generally a very good reason. Senseless stuff like breaks ups and fights with friends or being bullied don't get me that upset. I get upset but nothing like I get when I'm " extra" depressed. When those rare moments happen. I have a terrible uncontrollable break down which almost always leads me to the hospital or at least really really fucked up on drugs for a few days.

You should really grasp the fact that you can hold on to yourself. Having no control over your mental capacity and what it makes you do is a terrible thing.
Those of you who guilt yourselves :/ don't do that. We all need to cry and feel sorry for ourselves. Dwelling every once and awhile is healthy it lifts shit off you.