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CrazyLee (Offline)
4th Kyu Aikidoka
 
Posts: 270
Join Date: May 2007
Location: England, UK
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10-19-2008, 10:32 PM

Okay, I'm going to have to say something here. The concept for whatever it is your working on is good. Vampires, and hunters, are a common theme which a lot of people do. Thing is that unless you get a really good, unique version, it becomes a rip-off of Buffy. And be careful with the Vampire mythology.

Do you have Micorsoft Word? Cause your grammar, lack of spacing, etc nearly killed me. Its was a hard slog to get through it.

Other than that its not a bad start. Edit it first, and when you've done that I'll go back through and pick at certain points that don't make sense, or need to be expanded upon.
Sorry, but you could do so much better if you stopped and proof-read it.



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