Quote:
Originally Posted by Nyororin
The biggest reason, in my opinion, that western women and Japanese men don`t usually end up together;
The western woman is not willing to leave her family/friends and live in Japan.
No matter how strongly "feminist" the country says it is, in the end, there aren`t that many women supporting their husbands. So in general, the wife goes with the husband - not the other way around. When it comes to "western" man, Japanese woman - she`s usually quite willing to go with him to wherever after they`re married. (Whether that works out in the long run is a story for another time...)　The western man generally goes into the relationship with the thought that he can take her "home" with him if they decide to get married.
On the other hand, there isn`t a lot of "I can take him home" when it comes to a western woman going into a relationship with a Japanese man. But at the same time, there is also very little thinking of "staying" in Japan with him. Japanese men also view the potential of a relationship as being quite low - when she leaves, there is a 99% chance that it`s over. Most people don`t like setting themselves up for disappointment.
Another issue I think is that in general, more Japanese women have the time to invest in language study than Japanese men. When men are pushing to acquire work skills, a lot of women will focus on other things - like studying English... Which puts them into direct contact with English teachers (largely male). And a lot of those women are studying with the dream of a relationship, having been fed images of "Western men are so much more romantic than Japanese men!" all their lives....
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I think all you say is true, Nyororin.
I will speak in sweeping generalizations, (and I do know successful Japanese-male, Western-female relationships), but Japanese men are certainly attracted to non-Japanese women. I think there is an intimidation factor to a certain degree, and probably more than that, an opportunity factor.
I think for the young generation now, (teens and 20s) the problem of the Japanese man being a mama's boy is starting to crumble. In generations past, that was indeed true as the husband basically transitioned from his mother to his wife in a seamless stroke. But nowadays men, like their female counterparts, are learning independence and living alone and the benefits that brings. Maybe that's why I see more Japanese men with the confidence to speak to Western women these days. I think its great.