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Originally Posted by xyzone
Where did you get this from? Regardless, even considering various sources, the divorce rate as a whole for first marriages is 41-50%. Even assuming your stat is correct, that's still 1 bullet in the 10 chambers.
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Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America
"As a whole" is a bit misleading, as it doesn't paint a detailed picture. The divorce rate for first marriages is about 41%. The divorce rate "as a whole" is closer to 50%. The reason for this is, people who get divorced once tend to get divorced again when they get married. There are people who are married 7, 8 and even more times, which drives those divorce rates up, but aren't that revealing unless looking at it in context.
As a whole the average American has one boob and one testicle. But in reality that is true for nobody, so it is important to look closely at the numbers.
So you say "1 bullet in 10 chambers" but that also means you have a 90% chance of living your life through a happy and successful marriage (if you wait until 30). It is hard to deny those are pretty good odds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xyzone
That's an opinion. It could just as well be seen as what it tangibly is: a legal contract. The ceremony can be had. That is no problem. And I think people will figure out you're off the market when you're living and having children with someone in a home. With that I could just as well say the contract is a superfluous and outdated at best. But this from us both are just opinions, certainly.
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No, actually my statement that a marriage is a religious and spiritual contract isn't just my opinion, but is true for the majority of marriages in the US. I am sure you have heard the vows each party generally says in a marriage ceremony.
And maybe cohabitation tells society "I am off the market" but society isn't listening. People that cohabitate rather than get married tend to cheat on each each other more.
American Thinker: The Differences Between Marriage and Cohabitation
Men cheat 4 times as much if they are living together, but not married, and cohabitating women cheat 8 times more than married women. So there is SOMETHING about the institution of marriage that either has an effect on society, on the participants, or (more than likely) both.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xyzone
The way you phrase it cuts to the heart of this rationale, that you must be kept hostage by an external institution, that your own will is meaningless and that you are an animal that must be herded. This is another thing I was arguing in itself weakens marriage, it weakens the motivation for it. "Everybody's doing it, so if we don't, we're strange and don't fit in", then you're stuck with a gun to your head. What sort of motivation for "love" is that? None worthy to me.
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Again, this is extremely cynical. What you are striking at is the fundamental structure of society itself. In American society these days marriage is for the most part a choice (this isn't true in some parts of the world, and for some families). So instead of being "held hostage" to this institution of marriage, Americans celebrate it. To go from being single to being married is seen as a event worth celebrating with all of one's friends and family.
Again, I can understand why a younger person wouldn't be interested in marriage, but that is normal. Young people aren't supposed to be interested in marriage...and divorce rates for those in their 20s tell the tale.
Marriage rates are dropping, and people are (smartly) waiting to get married, so I don't think that "everyone's doing it" is as real as you might think. Certainly there are people to get pressure from friends and family if they stay single longer than most, but there are also certainly life long bachelors and bachelorettes out there, too.