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RobinMask (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 618
Join Date: Mar 2009
07-31-2011, 06:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Supperman View Post
No.18 In the classroom

In the classroom / TOEIC

This is a photo of a classroom. The teacher from behind is on the left edge of the photo, and he's just talking something funny with the gesture holding his right palm up. All the class are/is smiling and staring at him. (I think "are" is correct here, because it means plural students.)

I can see seven students in the photo. The focus is on a girl who is almost at the center, just a little left of the photo. She wears a green top, and has long, black hair. She seems to be South-East Asia origin.

The class seems to be an international class, and there are Caucasians, a Hispanic and an African American as well as her.

They wear short sleeves or long sleeves, which makes me guess the season would be the autumn or the late spring, if the place were in Japan. But I'm not sure because I don't know the latitude and the altitude of that place.

I think they're high school students or college students from their appearance. They're young, but not so young as junior-high.

I think the teacher is at least over 40, judging from his silver hair.
Your English is very good, by the way Just wanted to say that you seem to have mastered a lot of punctuation and grammar that many native speakers often struggle with. Dogsbody's corrections are certainly worth paying attention to, and she's certainly addressed the main points.

I would add a few points though, although they may seem trivial in comparisson to what has already been said. Just that perhaps instead of 'left edge' that 'left side' or 'left-hand side' may seem more natural in speech, also instead of 'they wear' it may sound more natural (and would make more sense) to say 'they are wearing'.

Your last sentence 'The teacher may be over 40, judging from his silver hair' is perfect as it is, but Dogsbody is right in that 'Judging from his silver hair the teacher may be over forty' sounds more natural, but it sounds fine how you've worded it, too.

Edit: I would argue that the correction made 'apart from this student' is perhaps incorrect, this is because the student is a part of the class and if the class is international then she is included in your list of examples of students of various nationalities. I would perhaps keep the sentence ('The class seems to be an international class, and there are Caucasians, a Hispanic and an African American as well as her.') the same, except I would omit 'as her'. So just keep it 'there are Caucasians, a Hispanic and an African American as well'. This is because 'as well' implies 'as well as the girl I just mentioned', so to add 'as her' sounds awkward.

Last edited by RobinMask : 07-31-2011 at 06:49 PM.
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