Please help me to read this English sentence:

[girigiri]

My aunt told me that the assistant liked my aunt. The assistant said that her mother was much like me.

"She wanted to exchange letters with me, but I didn’t like her because she called me ‘Mama-san’ too much. I felt as if I was a bar hostess." Many people call a female bar manager ‘Mama-san’ in Japan.

That needs to be rendered in direct quote style. Attempting to render it as an indirect quote and retain comprehensibility is well nigh impossible.

My aunt said to me, "The shop assistant liked me, and she said that I am very much like her mother. She wanted to exchange letters, but I didn't like her because she kept calling me 'mama-san'. I felt as if I was a bar hostess."

I've kept the grammar as close as possible to the original. There are differences between what would be said here and in other parts of the English speaking world.

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi, Koir. Thanks as always!


This sounds like the assistant’s mother was much like me(Yuri).
Can I write it “The assistant said that her mother was much like my aunt.”?

I didn’t go with my aunt or see the shop assistant. Doesn’t “The assistant said that …..” sounds like I saw the assistant?

That clears up my confusion. The way it was worded originally was like you were there with her, not hearing about it from your aunt after she came back.

Your revision is correct. It shows that you are telling what your aunt said to you about the assistant's words.

Should I write the fact that I didn’t go with her?
My aunt told me the story after she came back to Japan.

Yes, that is a good idea. Without it, the story is difficult to understand.

The flow of words is difficult to me. I will see to avoid too long sentences.

It will come with practice. Even I have trouble writing overlong sentences because splitting it into more makes it difficult to understand.

I considered indirect discourse, but “My aunt told me that the assistant liked my aunt, the assistant said to my aunt that the assistant’s mother was much alike my aunt, and the assistant wanted to exchange letters with my aunt, but my aunt didn’t like the assistant because the assistant called my aunt ‘Mama-san’ many times. My aunt felt as if she was a bar hostess.”
For one thing, I wasn’t with her when she met the assistant.

Thanks, again, Koir!

Suggested revision:

"My aunt told me that the assistant liked her as she reminded her of her mother. The assistant wanted to exchange letters with my aunt, but my aunt didn't like how the assistant addressed her as 'Mama-san'. It made my aunt feel like a bar hostess."

The first sentence appears very difficult and confusing to understand, so here's how I analyze it.

"My aunt told me that the assistant liked her.."

The "her" refers to "my aunt" in this section.

"...as she reminded her of her mother."

"She" in this section again refers to "my aunt". It is the subject of the second complete sentence in the compound sentence (a sentence made up of two or more complete sentences sharing the same idea).

"Her" refers to the assistant herself. It cannot refer to "your aunt" as there is already another reference to her (the "she" earlier in the sentence).

Finally "her mother" refers to the assistant speaking about her mother.

I apologize for any confusion from my explanation. English is very technical when it comes to pronouns and what people or group of people they are referring to in a sentence.

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by girigiri

That needs to be rendered in direct quote style. Attempting to render it as an indirect quote and retain comprehensibility is well nigh impossible.

My aunt said to me, "The shop assistant liked me, and she said that I am very much like her mother. She wanted to exchange letters, but I didn't like her because she kept calling me 'mama-san'. I felt as if I was a bar hostess."

Thank you, girigiri!
Your revision is very easy to understand.

By the way, I’ve heard that a direct quote style sounds childish. Is this truth?
Of course I wouldn’t mind if I sound childish. I prefer my English being understood.
It’s no use when words don’t convey meanings.

I've kept the grammar as close as possible to the original. There are differences between what would be said here and in other parts of the English speaking world.

What are the differences? What do you mean?
My original sentences are:
“My aunt told me that the assistant liked my aunt. “The assistant said that her mother was much alike me, and she wanted to exchange letters with me, but I didn’t like her because she called me ‘Mama-san’ many times. I felt as if I was a bar hostess.” Many people call a female bar manager ‘Mama-san’ in Japan.”

Thanks again!

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by Koir

That clears up my confusion. The way it was worded originally was like you were there with her, not hearing about it from your aunt after she came back.

Your revision is correct. It shows that you are telling what your aunt said to you about the assistant's words.

I’m sorry. I should have written I wasn’t with her.

Suggested revision:

"My aunt told me that the assistant liked her as she reminded her of her mother. The assistant wanted to exchange letters with my aunt, but my aunt didn't like how the assistant addressed her as 'Mama-san'. It made my aunt feel like a bar hostess."

The first sentence appears very difficult and confusing to understand, so here's how I analyze it.

"My aunt told me that the assistant liked her.."

The "her" refers to "my aunt" in this section.

"...as she reminded her of her mother."

"She" in this section again refers to "my aunt". It is the subject of the second complete sentence in the compound sentence (a sentence made up of two or more complete sentences sharing the same idea).

"Her" refers to the assistant herself. It cannot refer to "your aunt" as there is already another reference to her (the "she" earlier in the sentence).

Finally "her mother" refers to the assistant speaking about her mother.

I apologize for any confusion from my explanation. English is very technical when it comes to pronouns and what people or group of people they are referring to in a sentence.

So, “My aunt told me that the assistant liked her as she reminded her of her mother.” wouldn’t confuse native English speakers, right?
Japanese sentences don’t have that many pronouns. When I say the same thing in Japanese, I don’t say any pronouns such as “she” or “her”.
Writing/speaking English is difficult…

Thanks a lot, Koir!

[girigiri]

YUKITOKOROさん

By the way, I’ve heard that a direct quote style sounds childish.　{[Is this truth?] → [is that true/so?]}

思い過ごし、きっと。　けれども、使い過ぎれば、子供 っぽく思われることができます。

Of course I wouldn’t mind if I sound childish. I prefer my English being understood.
It’s no use when words don’t convey meanings.

交感です ...　or should that be, 完全な合意で?

My aunt said to me, "The shop assistant liked me, and she said that I am very much like her mother. She wanted to exchange letters, but I didn't like her because she kept calling me 'mama-san'. I felt as if I was a bar hostess."

Switching to Local "Dialect"

My aunt said, "The shop assistant seemed to like me, saying that I reminded her of her mother. She wanted us to write (to each other), but I wasn't comfortable with the idea: she made me feel like a bar lady; calling me 'mama-san' all the time."

The differences are:
eliding "to me",
the less direct "seemed to like"　in place of "liked",
avoiding the direct "I didn't like" by using "I wasn't comfortable with (the idea/about it/with her), or better yet, "she made me feel uncomfortable; calling me mamasan all the time."
and "I felt like" altered to "made me feel like".

My original sentences are:

“My aunt told me that the assistant liked my aunt. “The assistant said that her mother was much alike me, and she wanted to exchange letters with me, but I didn’t like her because she called me ‘Mama-san’ many times. I felt as if I was a bar hostess.” Many people call a female bar manager ‘Mama-san’ in Japan.”

The unheralded switch from indirect quote in the first sentence to direct quote in the second was the primary cause of difficulty. Basic redaction would simply have been,
First sentence: replace the second use of "my aunt" with "her" and add "; saying." →　My aunt told me that the assistant liked her; saying, "she said ..."
BUT "... her; saying, "she said ..." is kind of ugly.

(Don't take too much notice of my punctuation - rules change between countries, and I'm never sure what is correct even for Australia.)

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by girigiri

思い過ごし、きっと。　けれども、使い過ぎれば、子供 っぽく思われることができます。

Thanks, girigiri-san.
You write in Japanese. Great!!!

Using direct quote style too much may sounds childish. I see.

交感です ...　or should that be, 完全な合意で?

交感…? You might have wanted to say 同感?
完全な合意… Do you want to say “I completely agree with you.”? 完全な合意 sounds a bit different.

Switching to Local "Dialect"

My aunt said, "The shop assistant seemed to like me, saying that I reminded her of her mother. She wanted us to write (to each other), but I wasn't comfortable with the idea: she made me feel like a bar lady; calling me 'mama-san' all the time."

The differences are:
eliding "to me",
the less direct "seemed to like"　in place of "liked",
avoiding the direct "I didn't like" by using "I wasn't comfortable with (the idea/about it/with her), or better yet, "she made me feel uncomfortable; calling me mamasan all the time."
and "I felt like" altered to "made me feel like".

英語では、そう言ったほうほうがいいんですね。勉強に なります。ありがとう。

The unheralded switch from indirect quote in the first sentence to direct quote in the second was the primary cause of difficulty. Basic redaction would simply have been,
First sentence: replace the second use of "my aunt" with "her" and add "; saying." →　My aunt told me that the assistant liked her; saying, "she said ..."
BUT "... her; saying, "she said ..." is kind of ugly.

I have never heard “she said…” is kind of ugly, and “saying,” is proper.
This is very good to know. Thanks!!

[girigiri]

I have never heard “she said…” is kind of ugly, and “saying,” is proper.

誤解です。　その文脈には "said" 言葉を使うことと一緒にあまりにも近く "saying" ことはしわがれた音である。
下手な日本語ので
In that context, using the words "said" and "saying" so close together sounds harsh.

[YuriTokoro]

Originally Posted by girigiri

誤解です。　その文脈には "said" 言葉を使うことと一緒にあまりにも近く "saying" ことはしわがれた音である。
下手な日本語ので
In that context, using the words "said" and "saying" so close together sounds harsh.

Now, I see. "So close" is a problem.
Thanks, girigiri!

[YuriTokoro]

Hi.
Could you correct my English?


"Café Du Monde Coffee Stand"

I went to Café Du Monde and ate beignets in Ikebukuro, Tokyo.
I’ve been to the original Café Du Monde Coffee Stand in the New Orleans French Market, the US. I had a good time and enjoyed delicious beignets there.
The beignets are served in order of three big ones in the US, while six small ones in Japan. The difference might be from three reasons.
The first reason would be that three big beignets are too much for a Japanese woman.
The second would be that Japanese women hate getting their hands greasy.
The last reason would be that Japanese women hate the flying powder sugar.
So, we eat small beignets in one go with a fork.
Do you think big ones would be better? I prefer small ones!

Thank you.
Cafe Du Monde - Original French Market Coffee Stand New Orleans - Our History

[Koir]

Originally Posted by YuriTokoro

Hi.
Could you correct my English?


"Café Du Monde Coffee Stand"

I went to the Café Du Monde and ate beignets in Ikebukuro, Tokyo.
I’ve been to the original Café Du Monde Coffee Stand in the New Orleans French Market in the US. I had a good time and enjoyed their delicious beignets.
The beignets are served in an order of three big ones in the US, and six small ones in Japan. The differences may be for three reasons.
The first reason would be that three large beignets are too much for a Japanese woman.
The second would be that Japanese women hate getting their hands greasy.
The last reason would be that Japanese women hate the flying powdered sugar.
So, we eat small beignets in one bite with a fork.
Do you think big ones would be better? I prefer small ones!

Thank you.
Cafe Du Monde - Original French Market Coffee Stand New Orleans - Our History

I looked up beignets on the Wikipedia site, and they seem large, even to me. There's far too much powdered sugar on them. Way too much for me to consider eating. I can understand why having smaller beignets would be preferable to larger ones if they are served in the way shown in the wikipedia photograph.

The only desserts you should need a knife and fork for are pies and cakes!

Good work on the post, Yuri!