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Koir (Offline)
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07-04-2009, 01:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Could you correct my English?


"Meals Out With Friends"

I sometimes eat out with friends after dance lessons. Some Japanese restaurants have a "drink bar”, which means “a buffet of soft drinks and teas”. I love it.

There seems to be a rule. When you order a drink bar, you can use only one cup and one glass. For example, if you want to have an orange juice and a Coke, you completely finish one then get the other drink at the bar.

If they don’t have the rule, some customers will order a drink bar and share their drinks with friends who didn’t order one for themselves.
Even if you don’t order a drink bar, you can usually drink water for free in most Japanese restaurants.

Do you have such a thing in your local restaurants?

Thank you.

Wikipedia in Japanese language : ドリンクバー - Wikipedia
Interesting place, Yuri. In my experience, Western countries don't have a similiar kind of restaurant. The closest I suppose it could get is the concept of an "open bar" or "cash bar" inside a hotel. Of course, that's only with alcoholic beverages and not orange juice or Coke.

As for the composition of the post:

When you are bringing up a term you want the reader to understand, it's best to put it in quotation marks just once. The explanation can be handled in the same way. Afterwards, you can be reasonably certain the reader understands without interrupting the post with distracting punctuation.

Also, I removed one of the two inquiries you made to the reader about the availability of something like a drink bar in their country, and moved the other to the end of the composition. This way, it doesn't seem too overeager for a response and gets the reader thinking about similar places that may exist in their country.


Fortunately, there is one woman in this world who can control me.

Unfortunately for you, she is not here.

"Ride for ruin, and the world ended!"

Last edited by Koir : 07-04-2009 at 03:25 AM.
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YuriTokoro's Avatar
YuriTokoro (Offline)
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07-04-2009, 04:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koir View Post
Interesting place, Yuri. In my experience, Western countries don't have a similar kind of restaurant. The closest I suppose it could get is the concept of an "open bar" or "cash bar" inside a hotel. Of course, that's only with alcoholic beverages and not orange juice or Coke.
Hi. Koir, thanks as always.
I’ve never heard about open bar or cash bar. Do you pour beverages by yourself in a hotel?

Quote:
As for the composition of the post:

When you are bringing up a term you want the reader to understand, it's best to put it in quotation marks just once. The explanation can be handled in the same way. Afterwards, you can be reasonably certain the reader understands without interrupting the post with distracting punctuation.
Only once quotation marks. OK.
I inserted distracting sentences because I didn’t know if you have same kind of things. If you have, I would seem to be silly. I should have asked you if you have it before I wrote the post.

Thanks a lot for your great revision, Koir!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg DrinkBar.jpg (34.9 KB, 10 views)
File Type: jpg DrinkBar2.jpg (14.9 KB, 10 views)


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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Koir (Offline)
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07-04-2009, 05:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Hi. Koir, thanks as always.
I’ve never heard about open bar or cash bar. Do you pour beverages by yourself in a hotel?
No, but that was the closest thing I could think of to what you described. The difference between an "open" bar and a "cash" bar in a hotel is in how payment is handled. An "open" bar has already been paid for, so anyone can drink and not have to pay the bartender. A "cash" bar is the usual, with patrons having to pay money for their drinks.


Quote:
Only once quotation marks. OK.
I inserted distracting sentences because I didn’t know if you have same kind of things. If you have, I would seem to be silly. I should have asked you if you have it before I wrote the post.

Thanks a lot for your great revision, Koir!
Looking at the pictures you attached, I don't think we have anything exactly like that. There are, however, fast-food restaurants like Burger King that have the drink dispensers in the dining area. People get their food along with the empty cup and lid, so they can pour their own drinks (Coke, Sprite, and so on).

I remember one time when I was quite younger when I thought to sneak a drink at a different kind of restaurant that had self-serve drinks. I thought I was so clever, evading detection...then I put the cup in upside down and succeeded only in spraying myself with orange soda. Served me right, I suppose


Fortunately, there is one woman in this world who can control me.

Unfortunately for you, she is not here.

"Ride for ruin, and the world ended!"
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OzukakiBurasuki (Offline)
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07-04-2009, 05:06 AM

Quote:
Japanese people always leave out so many words when we speak Japanese, that I try to be careful not to leave words out in English, but I don’t seem to know how to write English naturally.
It's okay. There are many instances in which we will leave out certain words, too. It usually just is because of slang.

Quote:
“The company gave notice to me every year” Is this right?
Yes, that would work. The only problem is the context you are using it in. For instance, if you were still going to pay every year, you would of used "gives" instead of "gave." Since you thought it would be fine to stop paying, it is in context to mark that you won't be paying anymore, it would be "gave" instead. If this might be a little confusing, how about this? If you are still going to pay, you use "gives." If you aren't going to pay after this year, you use "gave."

Quote:
Sorry, I don’t understand.
“I would need a grave in a yard if I lived in the countryside.” sounds different from what I wanted to mean.
It sounds like that “I live in the city, so I don’t need a grave.”
Should I have written “I would be able to have a grave in a yard.”?
I'm sorry, but I must of read your post in the wrong context. Sorry for confusing you. It is confusing the way you worded that section of your post.

"If I lived in country side and I had enough land to bury them, I would have a grave in a yard, but here in Kawasaki, people don’t have such space, so we call a pet cemetery company when our pets die."

Try wording it like this:

"I would of buried them in my yard if I lived in the countryside because there would be a lot more space. Since I live in Kawasaki, I don't have enough space, so I must call I pet cemetery company instead to bury my pets."

This would of been way more useful to understand. At least you got the point out though, but it was confusing.

Quote:
OK. Short sentences are better.
I used to be told to connect sentences in English conversation classes. I thought that sentence was not long, but it was too long. OK.
Well, there's nothing wrong with longer sentences, but you could accidentally make grammar mistakes. Because of this risk, it would be more cautious to keep your sentences small with maybe only two main clauses; connected by a comma.

Quote:
I didn’t know you prefer apostrophes. Thanks.
Yeah, it is great to use apostrophes more than using "of" because it would be much faster to speak and comprehend.

Quote:
I don’t understand “Many American readers would probably not expect this and would write the same thing,” This sentence wasn’t supposed to be written, and you would write the same thing?????
I was just mentioning that it would be a more common mistake in English. Since "of course" can be taken out of the sentence as it's own clause without disturbing the entire sentence, it would need to be within two commas. Don't worry, it isn't something to get confused over. ^_^

Quote:
Thanks a lot, OzukakiBurasuki.
Thanks for saying thanks.
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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07-04-2009, 06:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koir View Post
No, but that was the closest thing I could think of to what you described. The difference between an "open" bar and a "cash" bar in a hotel is in how payment is handled. An "open" bar has already been paid for, so anyone can drink and not have to pay the bartender. A "cash" bar is the usual, with patrons having to pay money for their drinks.
In open bars, don’t you leave a tip even in a hotel?


Quote:
Looking at the pictures you attached, I don't think we have anything exactly like that. There are, however, fast-food restaurants like Burger King that have the drink dispensers in the dining area. People get their food along with the empty cup and lid, so they can pour their own drinks (Coke, Sprite, and so on).
The restaurant I often go with friends is not a fast-food restaurant.
I found a good picture of a drink bar. This is much similar to one where I go.

Quote:
I remember one time when I was quite younger when I thought to sneak a drink at a different kind of restaurant that had self-serve drinks. I thought I was so clever, evading detection...then I put the cup in upside down and succeeded only in spraying myself with orange soda. Served me right, I suppose
What did your mother say to you? I believe you were cute and sweet.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg DrinkBar5.jpg (31.1 KB, 21 views)


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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girigiri (Offline)
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07-05-2009, 03:32 AM

"would of buried" → The correct term is "would've", a contraction of "would have" - the same applies to "must of"

ゆりさん: "cat's grave"は「猫の墓」と同じ意味が持っている。 
"My book"の意味は
自分の本ーじぶんが書いた本、自分が所有する本、自分 に貸した本など。
違いのない語法でござる。

Quote:
The company gave notice to me every year「くおて」
今まで連続的に、あるいは繰り返された行動をあらわす のために、"has ~en" または "has been ~ing"を使います。 "The company has given me notice every year." ◎ "The company has been giving me notice every year."○

Last edited by girigiri : 07-05-2009 at 04:38 AM.
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girigiri (Offline)
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07-05-2009, 04:17 AM

grrr。。。。Doubled up post again.

Last edited by girigiri : 07-05-2009 at 04:39 AM.
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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07-05-2009, 06:54 AM

Hi, OzukakiBurasuki.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OzukakiBurasuki View Post
Quote:
“The company gave notice to me every year” Is this right?
Yes, that would work. The only problem is the context you are using it in. For instance, if you were still going to pay every year, you would of used "gives" instead of "gave." Since you thought it would be fine to stop paying, it is in context to mark that you won't be paying anymore, it would be "gave" instead. If this might be a little confusing, how about this? If you are still going to pay, you use "gives." If you aren't going to pay after this year, you use "gave."
I see. Thanks. I decided to quit paying, so I should write “gave”.


Quote:
I'm sorry, but I must of read your post in the wrong context. Sorry for confusing you. It is confusing the way you worded that section of your post.

"If I lived in country side and I had enough land to bury them, I would have a grave in a yard, but here in Kawasaki, people don’t have such space, so we call a pet cemetery company when our pets die."

Try wording it like this:

"I would of buried them in my yard if I lived in the countryside because there would be a lot more space. Since I live in Kawasaki, I don't have enough space, so I must call I pet cemetery company instead to bury my pets."

This would of been way more useful to understand. At least you got the point out though, but it was confusing.
I don’t see why “it was confusing”. Does “it” mean your revision above?



Quote:
Well, there's nothing wrong with longer sentences, but you could accidentally make grammar mistakes. Because of this risk, it would be more cautious to keep your sentences small with maybe only two main clauses; connected by a comma.
OK. Then, I should try to write longer sentences here, because you would correct them to improve my English.

Quote:
Yeah, it is great to use apostrophes more than using "of" because it would be much faster to speak and comprehend.
I didn’t know that. Thanks!


Quote:
I was just mentioning that it would be a more common mistake in English. Since "of course" can be taken out of the sentence as it's own clause without disturbing the entire sentence, it would need to be within two commas. Don't worry, it isn't something to get confused over. ^_^
I see! You need a comma at the end of “of course”, but many people forget it! Now, I see. Thank you!


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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07-05-2009, 07:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by girigiri View Post
"would of buried" → The correct term is "would've", a contraction of "would have" - the same applies to "must of"
Hi, girigiri, thanks.

Quote:
ゆりさん: "cat's grave"は「猫の墓」と同じ意味が持っている。 
"My book"の意味は
自分の本ーじぶんが書いた本、自分が所有する本、自分 に貸した本など。
違いのない語法でござる。
I didn’t mean “cat’s grave “.
You wrote "Were I to live in the country-side, with land enough to bury them in, they would have a grave in the (back) yard." If “they” means the dead cats, this sentence will be “The dead cats would have a grave in the back yard.”, and this sounds strange to Japanese people because Japanese language never goes like that.

Quote:
今まで連続的に、あるいは繰り返された行動をあらわす のために、"has ~en" または "has been ~ing"を使います。 "The company has given me notice every year." ◎ "The company has been giving me notice every year."○
Is a perfect form better than a present or past tense in that context?


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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girigiri (Offline)
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07-05-2009, 08:49 AM

ゆりさん: はい、"they" = 「その猫」。 "would have"が所有格のように使用でございます。
それぞれ、graves: 共用、 a grave.
英語で"They would be buried in the yard"を言ったら非情な語です。いとしい動物には墓が与� ��られている。
EDIT: my browser is showing � �� for あ た え ら れ て い る

訂正する
"The company has been giving me notice every year."のほうがいいです。

「くおて」はなんですか? 


"The company has been giving me notice every year."
"The company has given me notice every year."
規則を作った人は誰にでもへ:完了時制はどのその陳述 の部分ですか?


Drink bars are rare in Adelaide, but they do exist. I'm not sure what they are called though.

Last edited by girigiri : 07-05-2009 at 09:23 AM.
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