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10-18-2009, 05:57 AM

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Originally Posted by DougLewis View Post
Hi YuriTokoro

There is no need to be sorry. My signature tries to explain why.

There are many times when the translations of words are understood but because of idioms and "expressions" used in all languages, recognition of context and comprehension can be easily lost if explanation is not provided.

I try to assist with practical use of English language, meaning the common form and uses rather than the technical aspects.

I try to provide common English expressions - these usually work well in causing people to ask for explanation. Explanation is a good chance to increase understanding.

Questions are the name of the game. It is bewildering.. words can often be used as questions as an example - "Really?"

Hi, DougLewis.
I just want to make sure.
You say that you believe telling common example sentences is better than telling rules or grammar, when you teach English, don’t you?


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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10-18-2009, 06:08 AM

Hi.
Could you correct my English?

"Book : Guin Saga Vol.129"

This is the latest volume of Guin Saga, entitled “The Child Chosen”.
This is what Skarr(the second son of the Arugosu’s king)said:
“You say that we, who are indifferent and handled by gods, try to escape fate desperately to survive, or try to achieve our ambitions, when, in the unnoticeable area of the world, necromancers and strange monsters, which came from nowhere, are making ruckus on their own to get power to dominate the whole world, don’t you? No kidding!”
The storyline seems to be becoming a magic and monster story. I prefer human stories than magic or monster’s. If a powerful wizard appears, settles wars and save people in the end, you wouldn’t like such absurd story.
I believe that telling a wizard story is difficult, and you would need to decide what a powerful wizard can’t. If there are many almighty wizards, indifferent people are useless in the story. The author might know it, so she made Skarr to say the spoken lines above.
The problem is the author has died. Who can take over this world’s longest great story?

Thank you.


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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DougLewis (Offline)
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10-18-2009, 03:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Hi, DougLewis.
I just want to make sure.
You say that you believe telling common example sentences is better than telling rules or grammar, when you teach English, don’t you?
It very much depends on the situation.

It may be compared to learning to drive a car. Passing the written driving test does not make the student a driver. Practicing and driving well does. Of course the student must know the rules of the road, so the rules and the driving go hand in hand.

The young learn to speak first, the objective is communication. We learn numbers first, before we learn calculation.

With language, (later), when the fundamentals (basics) are in place, we can improve on the knowledge by learning the rules. Without the words and understanding of them though, one cannot learn the rules.

(Trying to learn the rules before the words would be like "Putting the cart before (in front of) the horse" - (A saying.))

If the vocabulary and flow of words is well developed for daily communication, it becomes easier to learn, comprehend and apply (use) the rules.

For most adults learning a second language--communicating well is the primary (main) objective. (Usually) The need is to have fluency and comprehension in a particular setting, a work place for example.

Immersion programs, (living with native speakers), is thought to be very effective (useful). I think of forum communication in the same light (being similar). A forum gives a chance to practice reading and writing.

A forum is probably not very effective (useful) for learning the correct rules of a language though, since we tend to write the same way as we would speak. We often speak differently than we write, especially if the writing was a test of using the rules.

Conversational (casual) language is often very different than formal language, which I suppose is a main point to consider when reading forum posts.

The objective (here) is to trade ideas and thoughts and exercise (use) the words we know.. or learn of new words and phrases.

If we all wrote at the level of "The cat sat on the mat," (child level) we would lose the chance to see new words and phrases and there would be fewer cases (times) where questions would be asked.

Asking questions is a great way to learn practical language useage.

Asking questions means, "Something new was seen and responded to (acted upon)."

If the post is difficult (hard) to understand, it gets ignored. If the post is too simple (easy) it does not offer challenge.

"It is a fine (thin) line for the writer to walk." (upon). :A saying:

(Meaning: "Hard to keep balance.")
(Meaning: "Finding the best level to use is difficult.")

It is better to let the "reader" decide what to read, not the "writer" or someone trying to act on behalf of the "reader." (censorship)

Everyone has a different style of writing.

It is good to see (be exposed to) many writing styles. Professional (paid) writers have distinctive (personal, unique) styles, they write the way they like to, not to please the reader.

That is a practical (common sense) way to look at language, it allows for individual styles and tastes. It can be an art form, like (similar to) painting a picture with words.

It is for the reader to decide what they would like to read.

What might be important is, "Questions spark (ignite/start) discussion." Discussion is interaction. Interaction expands knowledge.

Of course, the technical aspect of a language is also extremely (very) important. I am not saying it is not and encourage (urge) study of it for many reasons.

School is the best place to learn the correct (right) "rules" for a language though, not a public forum.

Coaching, mentoring or tutoring people in a second language is not teaching.

Qualified (certified) teachers in schools teach.

Coaching, mentoring or tutoring is about providing the student with a chance to practice, (hearing, speaking, writing).. to practice what the teacher taught the student in a formal (official) setting.

The two things, formal teaching and informal coaching should not be confused with each other, they serve two different purposes.


Oh well!
"There is culture, there is language.
One day, there will be common understanding.
With that, comes empathy and compassion"
~DL

Last edited by DougLewis : 10-19-2009 at 06:06 AM.
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snbzk (Offline)
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10-19-2009, 11:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Hi.
Could you correct my English?

"Book : Guin Saga Vol.129"

This is the latest volume of Guin Saga, entitled “The Child Chosen”.
This is what Skarr (the second son of the Arugosu’s king) said:
“You say that we, who are at the mercy of the gods, try to escape fate desperately to survive or try to achieve our ambitions while, in the far corners of the world, necromancers and strange monsters who came from nowhere are gathering power to dominate the whole world? No kidding!”
The storyline seems to be becoming a magic and monster story. I prefer human stories to stories about magic or monsters. If a powerful wizard appears, settles wars and saves people in the end, the story is absurd.
I believe that telling a wizard story is difficult because the author must decide what a powerful wizard can’t do. If there are many almighty wizards, regular people are useless. The author of Guin Saga might have known this and therefore made Skarr speak the lines above.
The problem is that the author has died. Who can take over the world’s longest great story?
I wasn't entirely sure what you meant by "indifferent." "Indifferent" means "uninterested" or "not caring about the outcome of a situation," but I think you meant something more like "powerless." Is that right?

Also, "No kidding!" has a completely different, humorous tone compared to the grandiose sentence before it. If that effect wasn't intentional, it should probably be left out.
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Koir (Offline)
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10-19-2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Hi.
Could you correct my English?

"Book : Guin Saga Vol.129"

This is the latest volume of Guin Saga, entitled “The Child Chosen”.
This is what Skarr (second son of the Arugosu king)said:
“You say that we, unknowing and manipulated by gods, try to escape fate desperate to survive and achieve our ambitions. At the same time in unknown parts of the world, necromancers and strange monsters are gathering power in order to dominate the whole world, don’t you? No kidding!”
The storyline seems to be becoming a magic and monsters story. I prefer human stories instead. If a powerful wizard appears, settles wars and save people in the end, you wouldn’t like such absurd story.
I believe that telling a wizard story is difficult, and you would need to decide what a powerful wizard should be able to do. If there are many almighty wizards, "normal" people no longer serve a purpose in the story. The author might know it, so she had a Skarr character speak the above quotation.
The problem is the author has died. Who can take over this world’s longest great story?

Thank you.
Most of the revision I made were to the lines quoted by Skarr. Too many phrases in one sentence separated by commas makes reading difficult and complicate the concepts the writer wants the reader to know. Also, the two references to "indifferent" were changed to "unknowing" and "normal" to better fit in with the sentece context.

"Unknowing" in the first revision can mean people personally do not know the reasons behind their actions or who is controlling them. This way of explaining fits it with whom the speaker believes *is* controlling them (the gods).

"Normal" in the second revision means that people, compared to individuals who can use magic, are just ordinary beings unable to effect the world in the same way that magic users are able.

I do share your feelings that introducing such elements into a story that had previously been mostly political and intrigue-driven doesn't seem to fit well. There is a Latin term I know, "deus ex machina", that can explain why something like this can, and has, happened to Guin Saga. It means that the author has written the story in such a way that there is no logical way forward, so divine intevention (or other sweeping changes to the storyline) is used to escape and continue the story.

In this case, the original author has pased away, taking with her most of the ways she had planned the story to go in the future. The people now writing Guin Saga either do not know these ways or do not wish to use them, so introducing things like magic users is an easy way to change the story to what they wish to see happen.

I myself have recently finished a book entitled "Dragon Age" authored by David Gaiden. It's connected to a computer game that is due to be released fairly soon. Most of the story was somewhat interesting, but the farther I read, the more I can see the author skipped entire scenes, useful subplots, or disposed of somewhat major characters so the story would end at a certain point. The story actually didn't end properly, either (the usual "this is a story being told to the son of the main characters" thing). It may not be as bad as Guin Saga's changes, but it's something similar and just as insulting to the reader.

Hope that is of some help, Yuri.


Fortunately, there is one woman in this world who can control me.

Unfortunately for you, she is not here.

"Ride for ruin, and the world ended!"
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10-22-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by snbzk View Post
I wasn't entirely sure what you meant by "indifferent." "Indifferent" means "uninterested" or "not caring about the outcome of a situation," but I think you meant something more like "powerless." Is that right?
Hi, snbzk.
Thank you for correcting my English.
I meant with the words “indifferent people” “not a wizard or a monster who can’t use magical power”. I believe “powerless” is a good alternate word.
Quote:
“You say that we, who are at the mercy of the gods, try to escape fate desperately to survive or try to achieve our ambitions while, in the far corners of the world, necromancers and strange monsters who came from nowhere are gathering power to dominate the whole world? No kidding!”
Actually, they are not gathering power, are fighting each other. They don’t think much about powerless normal people. And almost all powerless normal people can’t know that necromancers are fighting each other to dominate the whole world. Skarr happened to know that, and said the lines.

Does “the far corner of the world” can mean a magical world which powerless normal people can’t see or know?

Quote:
Also, "No kidding!" has a completely different, humorous tone compared to the grandiose sentence before it. If that effect wasn't intentional, it should probably be left out.
The author didn’t mean it’s humorous.
Is “No way” or something suitable? How about “stone the crows!”?


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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10-22-2009, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koir View Post
Most of the revision I made were to the lines quoted by Skarr. Too many phrases in one sentence separated by commas makes reading difficult and complicate the concepts the writer wants the reader to know. Also, the two references to "indifferent" were changed to "unknowing" and "normal" to better fit in with the sentece context.
Hi, Koir. Thanks as always.
“unknowing” and “normal” fits what Skarr said.

Quote:
“necromancers and strange monsters are gathering power in order to dominate the whole world,”
My expression power is too poor… They aren’t gathering power.
Necromancers are fighting each other. They have never cooperated. Monsters seem to be trying to dominate the world too, but nobody knows what their aims. Sometimes, necromancers fight against the monsters in order to disrupt the monsters dominate the world. And of course, right wizards fight against necromancers and monsters.
My translation was:
“necromancers and strange monsters, which came from nowhere, are making ruckus on their own to get power to dominate the whole world,”
I wrote “making ruckus on their own”, and that’s a direct translation. Maybe the author has written like that because the readers know the story and the situation, so the readers would understand what this “ruckus” means.
What should I write for readers who don’t know the situation?

Quote:
I do share your feelings that introducing such elements into a story that had previously been mostly political and intrigue-driven doesn't seem to fit well. There is a Latin term I know, "deus ex machina", that can explain why something like this can, and has, happened to Guin Saga. It means that the author has written the story in such a way that there is no logical way forward, so divine intevention (or other sweeping changes to the storyline) is used to escape and continue the story.
Exactly! I think the author might have stretched and pushed the story too much.
I hope the next author will be able to get back on the track.

Quote:
In this case, the original author has passed away, taking with her most of the ways she had planned the story to go in the future. The people now writing Guin Saga either do not know these ways or do not wish to use them, so introducing things like magic users is an easy way to change the story to what they wish to see happen.
I think the original author didn’t have planned the story in details. When she started the story, she said she would finish the story at 100th volume. Now, it’s 129th volume, and the story keeps stretching.
There’s no news about who takes over the story. I want to read the ending of the story.

Quote:
I myself have recently finished a book entitled "Dragon Age" authored by David Gaiden. It's connected to a computer game that is due to be released fairly soon. Most of the story was somewhat interesting, but the farther I read, the more I can see the author skipped entire scenes, useful subplots, or disposed of somewhat major characters so the story would end at a certain point. The story actually didn't end properly, either (the usual "this is a story being told to the son of the main characters" thing). It may not be as bad as Guin Saga's changes, but it's something similar and just as insulting to the reader.
“Dragon Age” doesn’t seem to be published in Japan.
Do you think the author will publish sequels? Is the book bought by many people?


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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10-23-2009, 07:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
Does “the far corners of the world” can mean a magical world which powerless normal people can’t see or know?
"The far corners of the world" refers to hidden or unknown places away from civilization. So, if the necromancers and normal people are in different parts of the same world, that expression works. If by "a magical world" you mean a completely different world that is separated from the one normal people inhabit (like another planet or dimension), it doesn't work. Instead, you could describe it the way you just did. It's hard for me to come up with an alternative without having read the story.

If you don't know how to express something concisely, it's better to elaborate than to risk leaving out important information.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YuriTokoro View Post
The author didn’t mean it’s humorous.
Is “No way” or something suitable? How about “stone the crows!”?
This is also something that's hard to correct without knowing the story. I don't know Skarr's personality or the nature of his reaction. Did he already know the information? Was he surprised, concerned, or brooding?

"No kidding!" is something you'd say when someone tells you something you already know. It can sound either cheerful or annoyed. On the other hand, saying "Really? No kidding..." in a thoughtful way means that you didn't know and were somewhat surprised. Both are fairly informal and not something a prince would say.

"No way!" is used when someone tells you something that surprises you or something that's hard to believe. It's also informal and mostly used by guys like this:

http://www.canadianshakespeares.ca/e...s/BillTed3.jpg
http://www.videodetective.com/photos/116/004896_3.jpg

I've never heard "stone the crows!" in my life.

In this case it would be okay to just leave it out, since it's a somewhat meaningless reactionary phrase that isn't vital to your message. The only way to master these little expressions is to listen to a lot of spoken English because the real meaning is conveyed by the tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language rather than the words themselves.
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10-23-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:
I've never heard "stone the crows!" in my life.
It is an expression used in England, mostly in rural areas.

It is an oath of disbelief.

It is somewhat similar to the modern "No way!" expression...


Oh well!
"There is culture, there is language.
One day, there will be common understanding.
With that, comes empathy and compassion"
~DL
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YuriTokoro (Offline)
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10-25-2009, 02:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by snbzk View Post
"The far corners of the world" refers to hidden or unknown places away from civilization. So, if the necromancers and normal people are in different parts of the same world, that expression works. If by "a magical world" you mean a completely different world that is separated from the one normal people inhabit (like another planet or dimension), it doesn't work. Instead, you could describe it the way you just did. It's hard for me to come up with an alternative without having read the story.
Hi, snbzk. Thank you!
Where the necromancers work may not be a completely different world, but it seems to be another dimension. The necromancers would say they have a kind of psychic barriers and others can’t see inside of the barriers. They always do teleportation and can appear everywhere they want. They might live in the normal world in fact, and maybe normal people just can’t see inside of their barriers.
What Skarr said is “one level higher” in direct translation, but I think this doesn’t make sense as English. Skarr imagined that the necromancers fight each other just above normal people’s heads, and normal people can’t see it.
If you were Skarr, what would you call where the necromancers fight?

Quote:
Quote:
The author didn’t mean it’s humorous.
Is “No way” or something suitable? How about “stone the crows!”?
This is also something that's hard to correct without knowing the story. I don't know Skarr's personality or the nature of his reaction. Did he already know the information? Was he surprised, concerned, or brooding?
He didn’t know the information. He hates what he just heard.
What he heard was the necromancers and monsters are trying to conquer and govern the world. If you heard that, and you had known there were some necromancers and many wizards in the world, what would YOU say?

Quote:
"No kidding!" is something you'd say when someone tells you something you already know. It can sound either cheerful or annoyed. On the other hand, saying "Really? No kidding..." in a thoughtful way means that you didn't know and were somewhat surprised. Both are fairly informal and not something a prince would say.
Do you say “No kidding.” when you are praised and dispraised?
When you say “Really? No kidding.”, does “No kidding” mean like “I’m surprised.”?

Quote:
"No way!" is used when someone tells you something that surprises you or something that's hard to believe. It's also informal and mostly used by guys like this:

http://www.canadianshakespeares.ca/e...s/BillTed3.jpg
http://www.videodetective.com/photos/116/004896_3.jpg
The pictures are very helpful. Now I understand the situation. Thanks.

Quote:
In this case it would be okay to just leave it out, since it's a somewhat meaningless reactionary phrase that isn't vital to your message. The only way to master these little expressions is to listen to a lot of spoken English because the real meaning is conveyed by the tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language rather than the words themselves.
I’m sure that your advice is pointed and wise.
I will listen to a lot of spoken English. Thank you very much!


Hello, I may not understand English very well and I may lack words but I will try to understand you.

If you have questions about my post or Japanese customs, don't hesitate to ask.

I YamaP
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