 |
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hello. Please check my grammarT_T -
04-19-2009, 07:34 PM
Hello.
I know that I am always getting help with checking grammar from you, but I really need you help!!! Could you please check my grammar? This essay is for Computer Science and is about ACM. English is not my native language, so it was very hard to put in my words and change to smooth English sentences, but I think my essay looks very awkward. So, I need your help! Please correct my grammar mistakes or word choice mistakes. I'm very happy if you change my sentences to very smooth English. Thank you very much!!! Professional Code of Conduct I feel that ACM code represents a reasonable set of professional standards for computer professionals because it is the organization which people of the various fields cooperate in the worldwide scale. Also, it is because the ethics of the people who organize the organization are making efforts to create useful computer for our welfare. I believe that it is reasonable because the people who are interested in computer programming all over the world get together and compete themselves. However, human commit mistakes, so if the side where people's wisdom is managed and studied has to be steady, they will go to the wrong way. I think that it is necessary to subdivide the various solutions which ACM holds up, or it is necessary to take the ethics of the people who participate in ACM to the high quality. In other words, usual education is very important. I think it's tied with development of a computer to improve the usual educational quality. Also, I think it's also leading to development of ACM. 
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
04-19-2009, 07:46 PM
I'm not very good with grammar, but the second sentence in the second paragraph is really confusing. I think it's the commas, but I'm not sure. It should say "humans" not human.
You said "I think" a lot. If it's really important, then I would change it up a bit so it doesn't seem like you're repeating yourself. Sorry if I'm not much help. Ich fahre allein Wie'n Geisterfahrer Um endlich bei dir zu sein...
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
04-19-2009, 07:50 PM
The main problem I can see with the essay is it talks quite a lot about "ACM" but doesn't really explain what it is. As a result, it assumes that the reader knows all about it from the start, which may not always be the case.
Unfortunately for you, she is not here. "Ride for ruin, and the world ended!"
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
04-19-2009, 07:51 PM
Quote:
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
04-19-2009, 07:59 PM
Quote:
I added a sentence to explain what the ACM is using my own words. Please let me know if this explanation is not enough. Thank you Professional Code of Conduct ACM is the organization going to improve programming of computers globally. I feel that the ACM code represents a reasonable set of professional standards for computer professionals because it is the organization which people of various fields cooperate on a worldwide scale. Also, it is because the ethics of the people who organize the code are making efforts to create useful computers for our welfare. I believe that it is reasonable because the people who are interested in computer programming all over the world have a chance to get together and compete themselves. However, humans commit mistakes, so if the side where people's wisdom is managed and studied has to be steady, they will go to the wrong way. I think that it is necessary to subdivide the various solutions which ACM holds up, or it is necessary to take the ethics of the people who participate in ACM to the highest quality. In other words, general education is very important. I think it is tied with the development of a computer to improve the usual educational quality. Also, I think it is leading to the development of ACM.
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
04-19-2009, 08:43 PM
I've tried to retain as much of your original tone and meaning as possible. In a few places, I had to guess at your meaning. Definitely double-check that what I have changed is what you want it to mean!
Professional Code of Conduct I feel that the Association for Computing Machinery ("ACM") Code of Ethics and Professional Conduct represents a reasonable set of professional standards for computer professionals because it was made by an organization which people of the various fields cooperate with on a worldwide scale. Also, it is because of the ethics of the people who organize the association, that they are making efforts to create useful computers for our welfare. I believe that it is reasonable because people all over the world who are interested in computer programming get together and compete. However, humans commit mistakes, so if the side where people's wisdom is managed and studied has to be steady, they will go to the wrong way (I'm sorry, but I am not sure what you mean in this sentence). I think that it is necessary to subdivide the various solutions which ACM holds up, or it is necessary to take the ethics of the people who participate in ACM to the highest quality. In other words, general education is very important. It is tied with development of a computer to improve educational quality. Finally, I think is is leading to development of ACM. Hope this was helpful! If you want, tell me a little more about what you mean in the second sentence of Paragraph 2, and I will be able to check your grammar for that as well.
|
|
|
||||
|
||||
|
Please check my grammar T_T; -
04-20-2009, 05:23 AM
Hello.
Thank you for helping me everytime!!! This is my research paper...it's very long. Could you please look at the sentences below and check my grammar? Thank you!!! How to deal with foodborne illness and food allergy Foodborne illness and food allergy are increasing at advanced nations particularly in the 20th century. Foods, drinks and air are very important for us to live. We have to take nourishment and water necessary to maintain health. However, there are problems with the foods and the drinks that we are always eating and drinking. Patients for the foods and the drinks are increasing right not more than the past. The illnesses by food are divided into two big categories, which are foodborne illness and food allergy. Foodborne illness is the symptoms which are stomachache, vomit, and fever that are caused by taking polluted foods and drinks which contains harmful substances. Our daily lives are becoming quite clean than the past; however, this thing leads to decline of our immunity, so the foodborne illness is increasing. In the United States seventy six millions of people are taken sick every year, and five thousand people die every year (Stamey 48). One of the causes why the people who live in the United Stated get sick is because of bacteria. Breaking out and taking out the bacteria’s toxin cause to pollute the foods and drinks, so the foodborne illness occurs. According to bacterial agents, campylobacter, salmonella, and shigella are detected most in the United States. First, if we infect campylobacter that is detected from the meat which are our daily products, beef, and pork, it is the fearful bacterium which causes foodborne illness. The symptoms of the campylobacter are fever, stomachache, diarrhea, and bloody feces which are like the enteritis symptom. When we get a treatment for it, we get better in two to five days, but there is also a prolonged possibility. Second, we infect salmonella if heating food is not enough or the food is raw. Concretely, egg, chicken, pork, beef and the dairy products which are not sterilized in low temperature have a possibility of salmonella. After the infection, the symptoms which diarrhea, high fever, and intense stomachache show up within twelve to seventy two hours, and these continue for four to seven days. Third, if we are infected shigella, the symptoms which damages of epidermal cell, fever, and bloody diarrhea occur in the large intestine tens of times a day. The cause is eating pollution foods and drinking pollution water (“Diagnosis and Management of Foodborne illness” 53). In the United States meals eaten outside the house can be dangerous. The first reason is a problem of HACCP plan. HACCP plan is the management technique which analyzes the factor which causes harm on the process (hazard) and manages the part where that can be managed most efficiently (CCP; indispensable management point) successively and secures safety when producing foods on food hygiene (Stamey 48). This HACCP plan is controlling meals at the restaurant; however, there is a fact that it is not enough to protect us against the foodborne illness. Therefore, according to Lewis’s report, DuPont, chief of internal medicine at St. Luke’s Episcopal Hospital in Houston and member of the INFECTIOUS DISEASE NEWS editorial advisory board, said “ HACCP system may need to be made to reduce the risk for foodborne illness outbreaks that originate in commercial dining establishments” (9). In other words, though HACCP plan is being done, why does the catering industry cause foodborne illness? That can be because a way of thinking to health management and leadership is not reliable. Second, when the person who does cooking and preserves a food in the state which isn't washing a hand neatly, and the person does not have knowledge about foodborne illness, hazards occur to visitors and employees. Third, when we eat fresh raw greens and a raw fruit, if the means to examine whether it is polluted or not polluted by bacteria is immature, the possibility to get the boodborne illness is high. Also, if there are unseasonable vegetables or fruits, these may polluted by polluted water (Lewis 9). The system to exclude the alien substance at time with alien substances exists in our form, and this is called an immune response. It is called allergy that this reaction exceeded the area where a body is defended. When our bodies judge the food which isn't an alien substance primarily as a harm thing, we become allergic to foods (Sodhi 66). Scientists cannot explain clearly even now why the food allergy happens (“Food Allergies On The Rise…(Cover story)” 1). In the United States 30,000 emergency rooms are used by food allergy and 200 people die every year (Sodhi 66). The substances which causes food allergy is caller allergen and are the eight foods is milk, egg, peanut, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, soybeans and wheat happens (“Food Allergies On The Rise…(Cover story)” 1) . According to the study of Sodhi, “when both parents have allergies, there is 67 % chance that the children will also have them” (66). Children’s food allergy is increasing eighteen percent in the past ten years. These children have the time when they will be in the most terrible state in the allergic reaction called Anaphylaxis. The anaphylaxis is increased 25 % during 1990 to 2000 in Minnesota, and there is data that its number was large for less than twenty years old. Anaphylaxis causes a problem of both of dyspnoea and shock. If it is not treated, the Anaphylaxis reaction becomes fatal. Many scientists are desperate to find out the cause why hyperesthesia happens. It's necessary to know what kind of food includes an allergen and whether we have to avoid stopping such allergic reaction. Also, it is important to have an epinephrine for self management (“Food Allergies On The Rise…(Cover story)” 1). In conclusion, the illnesses by food are divided into two big categories, which are foodborne illness and food allergy. Technology is important for our lives; however, our health is most important. The health management and knowledge for foodborbe illness and food allergy are insufficient right now, so we hope that the United States becomes a medically advanced country than now.
|
 |
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | |
|
|
Copyright 2003-2006 Virtual Japan.
