Having children? (not me!)

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Kayci

She doesn't, but I don't think "mothering" makes you a mother. I think really caring for the children's outlook, and making decisions for the benefit of the child that you carry makes you a mother or a father. You have a responsibility the moment it hits you that you have to think for someone else's future, I believe. I call her a mother 'cause although she can't keep it past a week, she's already shown more maturity as a parent than my own or some other mothers I've seen who kept and "raised" their kids.
The woman that gave birth to me kept me, but I don't consider her a mother, as she puts herself first before anyone else in very selfish ways.

If she is doing what is best for her baby, then that is a good thing, so I am not going to start an argument.

How she will be able to give it up after spending a week with her child is a mystery to me, though. Most people who give unborn babies up for adoption never see the baby after its born. When you do there is a mother-child bond that can cause the mother to change her mind on the spot about adoption. She might want to reconsider that first week thing.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Hisuwashi

MMM and Kayci are both making good points. I wasn't saying that gay parents shouldn't have the right to adopt, I was just exploring the issue. I'm not racist, sexist or a homophobe. I am not saying that an imbalance in masculine/feminine roles causes homosexuality. It is definately something that I believe in though. I'm not a fan of the idea that our DNA controls everything we do with very little regard to nature.

If that's what you believe, then say it. No one said DNA controls everything we do, and nature (or I think you mean nurture) doesn't play a role.

Originally Posted by Hisuwashi

In my views men and women are inherently different, on average. I don't even think thats really debatable. I believe in equality but equality doesn't equal sameness. I think I am going to be disagreed with most of the time because it goes directly against what society tells us. It has nothing to do with 'keeping traditional family values', but it has a more to do with my own personal beliefs. When I raised that issue I knew that it is more of an issue of society in general. The masculine and feminine roles aren't exclusive to males and females respectively, there are heterosexual relationships where to women takes the masculine role. Although traditionally it has been limited to men being the providers and women being the lovers. Anything spoken against 'equality' as it is seen today is immediately going to be shot down as sexist. I think that the reason for that traditional pattern is based somewhat on the fact that each gender naturally leans towards one end on average.

Gay parents often aren't "two traditional dads" or "two traditional moms" when it comes to parenting, and often those roles are filled just sort of naturally.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Hisuwashi

Say for example if that child is a boy, it is likely that he will lack important masculine traits later in life. He is probably going to end up extremely feminine with a lack of courage, emotional strength and the ability to take risks.

So... What happens to all the boys raised in single mother homes? Or the girls raised by their fathers?
In general, the OPPOSITE happens. Boys rise to the role of being the "man of the house".

Be realistic. You`re putting your own prejudice on to the issue, without actually taking reality into account.

[Acidreptile]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

So... What happens to all the boys raised in single mother homes? Or the girls raised by their fathers?
In general, the OPPOSITE happens. Boys rise to the role of being the "man of the house".

Be realistic. You`re putting your own prejudice on to the issue, without actually taking reality into account.

I agree with you totally.

[Thunda]

Originally Posted by Hisuwashi

Well, having two mothers for example could have negative effects on children. In my opinion every child needs a masculine and a feminine role model and parent figure, and I'm sure some gay couples could provide that. But if a child has two mums, he or she is going to lead to an imbalance later in life. Say for example if that child is a boy, it is likely that he will lack important masculine traits later in life. He is probably going to end up extremely feminine with a lack of courage, emotional strength and the ability to take risks. What I am saying is there are deeper, psychological effects, it's not just about being picked on by the bullies.

Well I never had a father and I am popular clever and a pimp.

Im everything but not feminine.

Only problem is, with divorced or gay couples, that some things in life can be only taught if you have 2 parents, a female and a male.

[Hisuwashi]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

So... What happens to all the boys raised in single mother homes? Or the girls raised by their fathers?
In general, the OPPOSITE happens. Boys rise to the role of being the "man of the house".

Be realistic. You`re putting your own prejudice on to the issue, without actually taking reality into account.

Yes, alright then you have a point. But to make my point - actually my 'prejudice' is not the case at all. Freud assumed that what we consider masculine and feminine is a natural outgrowth of human nature rather than an arbitrary cultural construct built by the prevailing winds of society. To reiterate, I am not prejudiced, and wondering where exactly you got that idea from. I of course believe it is far more important that a child is provided with a stable loving home with responsible parents who model most behaviors necessary for a happy and healthy life than whether the parents are in a heterosexual relationship or not.

I didn't mean any offense to you Thunda... you know that. I'm now going to graciously step out of this thread, so don't anyone bother replying to my post or anything.

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by Thunda

Only problem is, with divorced or gay couples, that some things in life can be only taught if you have 2 parents, a female and a male.

Originally Posted by Hisuwashi

I of course believe it is far more important that a child is provided with a stable loving home with responsible parents who model most behaviors necessary for a happy and healthy life than whether the parents are in a heterosexual relationship or not.

Given that parents rarely provide an actual role model for their children when it comes to sexual roles, you can toss the gender arguement. What guidance they do give is verbal and the capability of a parent to relay that information is dependent on knowledge and communication, not their gender or sexual orientation.