Applying for University
 

Hello everyone! Basically, I am applying for a place at University and I could really do with some advice on my personal statement. It's really really important, as they normally make decisions on who gets in with the statement if there are many people with the right grades wanting to get on the course.

I already asked for advice about my CV and I got some really helpful responses from people on JF, and I also know a lot of you have been to University, so I would really appreciate it if people could read the first draft of my statement and give me some pointers on how to improve or what could be changed.

Thanks in advance!

Game Design is a currently booming industry, one of which I have been interested in since I was very little. I’ve always had a passion for design and computers, and I think a Game Design course is a perfect combination of these two skills which I have been studying for the last few years. I am particularly interested in the artistic side of Game Design, as I am a very creative person and I have done A Level Art and Design as well as Life Drawing classes in my own time to improve these skills. I want to study Game Design to further develop my skills and get a career in the industry.

As well as doing my four AS Levels, three of which I believe would be beneficial in this course, Media Studies, Product Design and Art and Design, and three A Levels in the same subjects, I have also done many things in my own time to improve my skills. Me and some other students set up a Digital Art Class in order to pass on our skills in Photoshop to students in younger years, which was very successful. My strong point is with software such as Photoshop so the experience of teaching others really reinforced my knowledge of it. I have also had two work experience placements, both in Graphic Design and Media.

The first placement was arranged by my school, working at a Graphic Design company, and here I experienced new things; the use of Mac computers and also Lithography printing. I also got to meet new people in the industry and it was helpful to hear about their experiences in that field.

The second placement was arranged by me, working side by side at BBC Leeds. I was able to work in the Graphic Design suit there too, and was also shown around all the rooms and viewed how the 6 o’ clock news was broadcast from the studio. I also got to take part in the morning briefing and it really improved my confidence and communication skills.

There are many other things I have done which helped me grow as a person. I managed to become Deputy Head Girl in Hanson School which was a privilege and because of this role I had to be very organized to make time for the extra duties I’ve had, which included showing around visitors to the school and helping out on open days.

As well as this, I have also taken part in a school run business, the Smoothie Bar, which helped me in a number of ways with my graphic skills, teamwork and co-operation skills, and also managing finances. I believe things such as being patient and motivated are good foundations for building a successful team should I need to work in one in the future.

Studying Japanese has been very rewarding for me and I really enjoy the course I decided to do part time at college. Studying a language, especially one as difficult as Japanese has improved my patience and proves that I am able to stick with subjects that may be tough at times.

All in all I have a real passion for the industry; I am a very enthusiastic and motivated individual that would really benefit from a course like this. I have an genuine interest in all areas of Game Design and really wish to experience a course specifically aimed at this kind of career. I have worked hard to better my skills and will continue to do so, should you offer me a place at your University.


Umm, The grammer is good, wordage isn't bad, the flow was a little bit off but I changed it a little. It's kind of scattered though, just a little. However, my personal opinon I think they look more for your own personal aspects, your own personal qualities. Honesty, integreity, determination etc. This seems more like a job resume to me, they want this but also they want to know more about you the person well not more, just as much as they can. If your statement is full of your experiences and not as much of your own personal merit versus another kid who has both, well... It also depends on what University your applying for, believe it or not they look for different things, mostly to do with the demographic census of their students. I'd also use a bit more linguistisition(not a word but you can guess what it means) in it.

In England 'Organised' is right, as Salvanas said.

Yeah I wanted to put in so much more stuff but it's limited to exactly how much text there is in the statement already. So to add more things, I'd have to take them away. I think the problem is, is that I find it difficult to right about myself, or big myself up in a way in terms of personality, and much rather let them see how I am on the things I have achieved and experiances I had. I agree though, I need to put more about my character though it's hard to write about yourself.

I'm applying for a place at Leeds Metropolitan University for the record.

Thankyou very much for your input!

My bads, I didn't know.
joor welcomez.

yeah it is hard writing about yourself, when I did mine, i did like 13 rough drafts, lol

Yeah I imagine I'll end up being the same!

Ill be needing advice soon as well. xD

hey Misa, my friend got into Norwich art school to do game design. ^^

some of the sentences are too long.
e.g:As well as doing my four AS Levels, three of which I believe would be beneficial in this course, Media Studies, Product Design and Art and Design, and three A Levels in the same subjects, I have also done many things in my own time to improve my skills.

MANNN long sentence.

annd , you dont have to relate every a level subject to what you want to study. just show that it was because you're passionate about the subject that you chose it. And more of your hobbies and what inspires you. You've done alot about what you have done, so it would balance the statement out more.

Overall, it looked like a resume for a job rather than a personal statement. But it was still good. I was told from my friend at school that colleges and universities want to hear more about the person and their interests instead of their achievements. I have arrived at the time where i have to start writing my personal statements, so i'm very nervous about it. Anyone have advice for me?
(P.S.-I plan to major in journaliam and writing.)