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-   -   "She had it coming." (http://www.japanforum.com/forum/general-discussion/29288-%22she-had-coming-%22.html)

mercedesjin 12-13-2009 11:35 AM

"She had it coming."
 
The other day, I was walking around in the mall with a couple of my friends when we saw a group of teenage girls. Their skirts were obscenely short. To the point where we literally saw a buttcheek. These girls were dressed in school uniform, so they must've been junior high/high school.

One of my friends said something like, "Now, if someone were to touch her, she'd be upset. If someone were to molest her on the train, she would get angry. But honestly, look at the way she's dressed - she has it coming."

I didn't say anything, but I really disagree with this idea. Sure, the girl was dressed pretty inappropriately - but a person's body should be their own. A person should be able to walk down the street naked without having to worry about their body becoming someone elses. Does the amount of clothes a person wears really declare that their body is up for grabs (no pun intended)?

And if that's the case, then for every culture, it's case by case. There are cultures where a woman must cover herself from head to foot, otherwise she is considered too tempting - and if she's attacked, it's her fault, because she was the woman. Because she was the woman, she had it coming. In many cases, it's resulted in the rape and death of said woman.

What do you guys think? If you see a woman walking down the street in a mini-skirt and a halter-top, and she's attacked, do you think, "She had it coming"?


EDIT: I'm sorry, I don't think I explained myself well enough in the first point. I gave the example of Muslim culture to show that there are many different stances on how women are supposed to act in the world. I come from a culture where women are expected to cover up their body - not show cleveage, not show off their curves. I know of other cultures where women are allowed to walk outside topless. I know of other cultures where women are expected to cover their faces.

We say that those teenage girls shouldn't have been dressed that way, but according to who? According to whose culture? If it was according to Muslim culture, then not only was she wrong, but I'm wrong for the way I was dressed as well. According to other cultures, there was nothing wrong with the way she was dressed. To me, this means there isn't one right way for women to dress.

So why do we expect women to dress a certain way? Why do we have such harsh reactions when we think a woman is dressed inappropriately? Why are some women raped and killed, and why do others think, "She had it coming," when it happens?

Because honestly, I've been seeing men topless and in their underwear for all 20 years of my life now, and I have yet to see someone call a man a slut for it.

JayT 12-13-2009 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin (Post 788992)
The other day, I was walking around in the mall with a couple of my friends when we saw a group of teenage girls. Their skirts were obscenely short. To the point where we literally saw a buttcheek. These girls were dressed in school uniform, so they must've been junior high/high school.

One of my friends said something like, "Now, if someone were to touch her, she'd be upset. If someone were to molest her on the train, she would get angry. But honestly, look at the way she's dressed - she has it coming."

I didn't say anything, but I really disagree with this idea. Sure, the girl was dressed pretty inappropriately - but a person's body should be their own. A person should be able to walk down the street naked without having to worry about their body becoming someone elses. Does the amount of clothes a person wears really declare that their body is up for grabs (no pun intended)?

And if that's the case, then for every culture, it's case by case. There are cultures where a woman must cover herself from head to foot, otherwise she is considered too tempting - and if she's attacked, it's her fault, because she was the woman. Because she was the woman, she had it coming. In many cases, it's resulted in the rape and death of said woman.

What do you guys think? If you see a woman walking down the street in a mini-skirt and a halter-top, and she's attacked, do you think, "She had it coming"?

No. I can definitely say girls dress provocatively in Japan,
but they're not telling everyone 'Hey, come molest me!'.
Everyone has their own style. Just because you wear short shirts doesn't put you in the same league as women that work in strip clubs.

Salvanas 12-13-2009 11:55 AM

If you, generally speaking, dress like a slut, you'll get treated as a slut.

Simple as. What we wear, represents us, and our personality. If you wear mini-skirts to the point where you can see cheeks, on the street, then you'll be seen as a whore, and people will act like you're a whore.

Yes, they don't deserve to be molested, or raped. But really. I don't see a point dressing like that unless you WANT to have some sort of sexual action.

You can dress provocatively, and still not show skin, and keep your pride. That's different to dressing like a slut.

So yes. They had it coming.

ozkai 12-13-2009 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mercedesjin (Post 788992)
What do you guys think? If you see a woman walking down the street in a mini-skirt and a halter-top, and she's attacked, do you think, "She had it coming"?

I don't mind it actually, as long as it's not my daughter!

My partner dresses like this with very short skirts, but I believe it is very common in Korea. It also allows me for a quick squeeze of her buttocks which I know she enjoys;)

But then again, where I live if I girl was to walk around like this at night, she would be asking for trouble and their would be a high possibly of rape.

ozkai 12-13-2009 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 788996)


You can dress provocatively, and still not show skin, and keep your pride. That's different to dressing like a slut.

So yes. They had it coming.

I am suspecting that you may be Gay, so in that case, I understand your stance on women's skirts.

orewasenshi 12-13-2009 12:04 PM

I honestly think it depends on what type of girl you actually are.

I see this type of stuff in my highschool everyday. Even freshman and sophomores are wearing stuff that makes their butt pop out of their shorts, and their chesticles come out of their shirts. When I see these girls around guys, they flaunt it, which is pretty much asking for a guy to get into your pants. If you honestly do this while wearing that type of CRAP, then you have it coming for you. It also kind of shows that you have NO respect for yourself or your body, really.

If I were to wear that, I wouldn't use it to my advantage. Whenever I wear a low-cut shirt, I always wear a cami that covers my cleavage. Whenever I wear a short skirt, I wear leggings or tights underneath. Seriously, it's all about the type of person the girl is.

ozkai 12-13-2009 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orewasenshi (Post 789002)
I honestly think it depends on what type of girl you actually are.

I see this type of stuff in my highschool everyday. Even freshman and sophomores are wearing stuff that makes their butt pop out of their shorts, and their chesticles come out of their shirts. When I see these girls around guys, they flaunt it, which is pretty much asking for a guy to get into your pants. If you honestly do this while wearing that type of CRAP, then you have it coming for you. It also kind of shows that you have NO respect for yourself or your body, really.

If I were to wear that, I wouldn't use it to my advantage. Whenever I wear a low-cut shirt, I always wear a cami that covers my cleavage. Whenever I wear a short skirt, I wear leggings or tights underneath. Seriously, it's all about the type of person the girl is.

Come on.. Most normal guys would find a matured looking girl with a short skirt and a slight exposure of the buttock rather sexy.

It doesn't mean the girl is a "slut", and I say that loosely.

Some girls enjoy S**, and so do some guys. I would say a LOT of both. It's human nature.

Unless as Mercedes says, you are Muslim, or living somewhere like Iran or Afghanistan.

Salvanas 12-13-2009 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ozkai (Post 788999)
I am suspecting that you may be Gay, so in that case, I understand your stance on women's skirts.

No, Ozkai. I'm not gay.

I have a bit more self-respect and control than to drool at any piece of skin that is shown. I have higher standards. In myself and women.

Then again. This is you that we're talking about. So, I can understand your stance on women's skirts.

Quote:

Come on.. Most normal guys would find a matured looking girl with a short skirt and a slight exposure of the buttock rather sexy.

It doesn't mean the girl is a "slut", and I say that loosely.

Some girls enjoy S**, and so do some guys. I would say a LOT of both. It's human nature.

Unless as Mercedes says, you are Muslim, or living somewhere like Iran or Afghanistan.
Oh yeh, we men do find it sexy. That's totally natural.

But apart from thinking she's sexy, that's where it ends.

And yes Ozkai. The chances are, that they're a slut. A girl that wears a mini-skirt to the point where you can see her butt cheeks, and basically shows her tits off in public is, in 99% times, a whore.

We all enjoy sex. Doesn't mean we can't have sex, and keep our self-respect.

ozkai 12-13-2009 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 789004)

Then again. This is you that we're talking about. So, I can understand your stance on women's skirts.

**CHEEKY**;)

orewasenshi 12-13-2009 12:12 PM

._____.

I'm pretty sure I'm not Muslim, and I live in the USA. So honestly, STFU.


I don't care if it's sexy to a man or not, it's wrong to be treated just like a piece of meat half of the time when you're wearing a short skirt or low-cut shirt. Sorry, but I actually have pride in myself and don't want to be labeled as a whore or a slut, thank you very much.

Sorry, but it honestly comes from experience from myself and other people I've been around, and I have highly feminist views.


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