Is Love Selfish? -For those out there that are creative thinkers

gyl0119 · (#1 (**permalink**))

Is Love Selfish?
Please share your thoughts, if possible please provide an example/scenario where
-yes, love is selfish
-no, love is not selfish
-a boarderline case, love is not selfish or its selfish

*note love doesn't necessary mean the intimacy between 2 people or more people, it can be an individual having an affection towards a person, place, thing, a concept, and etc.

xyzone · (#2 (**permalink**))

It's neither, it just is. It's a bonding apparatus of the species. In the case of romantic love, it's a strong biochemical response much the same as sexual response is, and with a similar purpose (and similar use as a leisure activity by many).

JasonTakeshi · (#3 (**permalink**))

Would a mother give her life to save her children? Probably yes.

Why would she sacrifice her life in order to save her children?

- Selfishness. She wouldn't probably bear the pain of loosing her children, therefore she chooses to sacrifice herself so that she wouldn't have to bear with the loss of the children if they were to die if she didnt sacrifice herself.

You could say that she sacrificed herself in order to give life to her children, to give them an happy future.

But whose wish is this? Why does she want them to have an happy future? Why does she want them to be happy?

Because their happiness brings her happiness.

But the children, in the other hand, would suffer the loss of their mother. So thats pretty much passing the "painfull cross" to the children because she cannot bear it herself.

Everything we do is for ourselves. Just ourselves.

manganimefan227 · (#4 (**permalink**))

My two cents . . .

OK people who live by the belief that all Love is selfish, I don't believe that. Such a thought process leads you to "sticking your middle finger to the world" And hating everything because you believe love makes you seem like a bad person and with nothing to value through love, feeling living only means sticking yourself in the evil poison would probably make one want to destroy it or just kill themselves.

But there is such a thing as too MUCH love such as Hitler and, not to pick on them, but the Whites several times in the past. Hitler loved only certain people so much, he wanted to get rid of people who did not fit the description. This is where love becomes selfish

So in conclusion, the people who say "Love is a delicate balance" are right! Love to feel purpouse and fufillment from life and to find pure happiness but at the same timelearn to accept and them appreciate, love and celebrate those different than you!

rozurainbow · (#5 (**permalink**))

I believe the friendship kind of love is selfish, because some friends are there so you dont have to be alone. But parental love, girl or boyfriend-like love and real friendship arent selfish. Unless youre a real bitch ! n_n

TalnSG · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonTakeshi

Everything we do is for ourselves. Just ourselves.

The example was close to the way I was thinking. But I disagree that everything we do is just for ourselves. In the case of love there is more involved.

Depending on the viewpoint love is both selfish and selfless. When it becomes obsessive, or oppressive to another person, it is clearly selfish - and in those extremes I would not call it love, though some do.

Love is selfless when the person truly puts the interests of the person they love before their own, and many of us have done that. But even then there is an element of selfishness, because you cannot defer to another without some regret.

manganimefan227 · (#7 (**permalink**))

So basically love is only selfish when i comes from anywhere but ze heart!!

PockyMePink · (#8 (**permalink**))

I don't think so. I agree with what someone said above, that we do everything for ourselves. However, that doesn't mean we are truely selfish.

If you love someone, whether it be intimate, parential, friendship, etc. you wish for their happiness, success, etc.

If you are a lover, you will try to make your partner happy. If you are a mother/father, you will strive to make your children happy, loving, successful, etc. If you are a friend, you will do everything in your power to make your friend happy. We do these things because they make someone happy, and more importantly, it makes us happy.

Love is definately not selfless, but because you're doing something to benefit both sides with the intent that both sides being happy, love isn't selfish.

Confusing, I know. Sorry >>

Jaydelart · (#9 (**permalink**))

Before determining whether or not love is selfish, I wonder: can love be generalized enough to provide reference for an answer?

rozurainbow · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by manganimefan227

So basically love is only selfish when i comes from anywhere but ze heart!!

Agreee! :]