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RickOShay (Offline)
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05-27-2010, 01:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Brass View Post
Sorry, I didn't mean to get your guys panties in a bunch. I thought this forum would be somewhat sympathetic to my feelings on America but I guess I was wrong. I guess I watch too many movies and TV shows about "traditional japan" of that makes any sense and I am brainwashed as to what the reality is.

I still want to visit Japan but I guess moving there isn't really the cure to my ailes from society. Maybe I'm looking for something that doesn't exist outside of a third world country. Ideally I would probably like to live in the Japanese countryside or maybe in a small urban center with a Japanese wife (inb4haters). And no I'm not looking for some traditional submissive Japanese housewife or some kind of japanophile fantasy, just normal wife to start a family with.

And yes I do live in Southern California and yes I am the dude that posted the thread awhile back about dating the single mom. I'm no longer dating her per say, but still see her every now and then (her choice, not mine).
I think people have been a bit too hard on you in this thread, you simply asked some questions. However, your ideas are somewhat misguided. Basically what everybody said so far is true, there are superficial people and non-superficial people in every country, and location makes a HUGE difference. I am from Nebraska (though I live in Japan).. and this superficial attitude you talk about is how many people from Nebraska view people in southern California, Miami etc..

So of course, you are going to be surrounded by lots of superficial people, it is part of the culture in that section of the country, if you move to Tokyo you will probably encounter a lot of the same crap.

However, you need to also consider that maybe you are a bit too picky? Perhaps you are idolizing these "beautiful" people you are surrounded by? Wanting to find that one girl that has it all, but likes you for you and nothing else??

Also this Japanese wife you seem to be hoping for.. well.. you already seem to be laying down too many rules for her. Not to mention how do you know you will even be able to be happy living in the countryside of Japan for the long term? It really does take a certain breed of person, so you should be very prepared to deal with a whole slew of things that might bother you quite a bit.

And even in my small town of 100,000 people I see women of all ages walking around with designer bags etc.. I do not believe it is because they are superficial people though. I think superficiality in Japan and in America have different thresholds and standards.

When you come to Japan the very first thing you need to do is try to learn and understand all things from a Japanese point of view, if you judge Japan solely by your standards and culture, I think you will become dismayed and disappointed. Anyhow that is my two cents for you.
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Decen (Offline)
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05-27-2010, 02:09 AM

Hey Brass, I can actually sympathize a little. I'm going to answer you as if you are saying superficial girls suck as opposed to the way you worded it that American girls are superficial. Because no matter where you go they are going to be. Although Ive dated more t-shirt and jeans girls in California than I've seen in Japan. Louis Vuitton bags and short skirts are the norm here in Japan. Well at least when I was up in Tokyo that was the case. So my advice to you is take a trip up north not west. Get away from Southern CA. My home town was Sacramento, and I dated plenty of pretty woman that thought i was a sexy piece of meat. They were much less hassle than my Japanese wife, learning a new language acclimating to a new country it's tough. I wouldn't recommend it for somebody who gets lonely and doesn't have a shitload of self confidence to push themselves back up everyday.
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GoNative (Offline)
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05-27-2010, 02:19 AM

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Originally Posted by Brass View Post

Maybe it's the celebrity culture I hate here and how much being good looking and popular is valued here.
Japan has an extremely strong celebrity culture as well. As bad or more than just about any other country I've ever been.
Can you speak Japanese? Because if you can't then any interaction you have with Japanese women will probably be more superficial than anything you've experienced in the US.

Last edited by GoNative : 05-27-2010 at 02:23 AM.
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05-27-2010, 03:50 AM

@ Brass: You being wrong may very well be a good thing.
I think the common concern here is that you'll prevent a woman from convincing you otherwise by carrying around a negative illusion.

A simple answer to your original post is, "Yes, they are."
That's not to imply that they're all superficial. But they are generally as superficial in comparison to Americans... because they are also human beings.



With the best intentions, man... Good luck.
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05-27-2010, 07:32 AM

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Originally Posted by Decen View Post
My home town was Sacramento, and I dated plenty of pretty woman that thought i was a sexy piece of meat.
Uh, that comment was a bit... urghhh.
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05-27-2010, 09:44 AM

Hahaha...

You know... I have personally found a greater percentage of the women in Japan to be considerably more shallow than those in the US. A majority? Most certainly not, but still more than in the US.

I think it depends on what you are looking for.
If you look for the women who do their best to be as attractive as possible - then you`re going to find that you`ll be around the same types (if not worse) as in the US. If you only go after women who invest more in their looks and clothes than education/personality/etc - surprise surprise - you`ll probably be just as frustrated in Japan. If the same subset of the population is your target, you`re not going to hit anything different. If you`re of the type where it doesn`t matter what kind of person she is as long as she`s Asian, maybe that will make up for it, but that`s even more shallow and superficial than the stuff you say you hate.

Either way, unless you start looking outside the groups you apparently are looking in, you`ll have the same issues both in the US and Japan. There are too many guys out there who seem to think that being Japanese will magically make all these issues go away.... And then find themselves getting a divorce and losing the kids because the exotic Japanese girl they married because she was Japanese was a shallow gaijin-hunter who cheated with every English teacher who came to town.


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05-27-2010, 02:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brass View Post
I am really surprised there are so many people here to jump up and defend America. Are you guys really unconvinced that this is the shallowest place on earth? Hollywood culture is practically worshiped here. Being intelligent, or even acting like you have common sense is ridiculed. This has to be the worst non third-world country on earth.

And yes, of course, there are honest caring women here and there are some superficial shallow men here. I know that. There are jewels and exceptions in every society. I have dated women who were honest and non-shallow. I'm not putting down every single woman in this country.

The issue I have is the culture itself and the sheer amount of superficial women here. I realize Japan is not an oasis but I was looking for something better than here.

There is no better place than "here" (America), period. I've been to more countries than you can name, and despite America's perceived problems, there is none that I love better. I don't live in Japan because I believe it to be a better place than America, I like it here because from time to time I like to enjoy a long change of scenery. And, the more I see of the rest of the world, the more I come to appreciate America.

On the whole, Japanese women are surprisingly shallow. They may work part-time in a fast food restaurant out in the countryside, but they won't be caught dead without a Gucci, Chanel, or Louis Vuitton bag, even if said bag cost more than their income for 2 months.

They typical game-plan of the Japanese female is school, then a part-time job, and then marriage to a man she may or may not love, after which she can quit her part-time job and become a full-time housewife. Sex and romance end shortly after the wedding vows are uttered; she runs the house, the husband works, and the less they see of each other the better.

As has been mentioned in other threads, the Japanese engage in less sex than any other nationality on earth. I hear enough from my Japanese co-workers about their personal lives (or lack thereof) to know how unenviable many (most?) Japanese marriages are.

All you need to do is look at the myriad love hotels which exist everywhere in Japan, from the largest cities to the smaller towns. These hotels are not usually frequented by man and wife, most customers who use these places are engaging in affairs. How's that for shallow?

I have a Japanese girlfriend whom I love a lot, and with whom I have a great relationship. That she was Japanese was not what attracted me to her, I was attracted by her personality, humor, and intelligence. That she is beautiful besides these things is a bonus, but beauty and real love knows no nationality, and can be found anywhere that one cares to look.
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TalnSG (Offline)
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05-27-2010, 06:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brass View Post
As you guys all know I am very interested in going to Japan because I love their culture. I'm also interested in dating women (short term, sadly) while I am there.

I have pretty much given up on the shallowness of women in America where you have to look like Brad Pitt for them to give you the time of day. I am wondering if Japan is any better? I am not fat or anything, I am in good shape, but I'm not model looking. I also know how to talk to women.

Someday I want to eventually move there as I'm tired of living in a superficial country.
Now that the irritation over you insult has cooled, let me clarify something for you.

One attracts what one seeks and is capable of understanding.

In clearer terms that a moron can understand.....

Shallow people attract other shallow people, and are often shunned by the majority of society. So perhaps that is why you are only familiar with the shallower, minority segment of the area you reside in.


Only an open mind and open heart can be filled with life.
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Undertherose25 (Offline)
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05-27-2010, 07:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TalnSG View Post
Shallow people attract other shallow people, and are often shunned by the majority of society. So perhaps that is why you are only familiar with the shallower, minority segment of the area you reside in.
I very much agree with you.

I can't believe people expect Japanese to be some sort of magical people that aren't racist or shallow and they're all perfect. Japanese are humans too, therefore suffer the same flaws as the rest of humanity.


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Aniki (Offline)
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05-29-2010, 12:13 AM

Don't listen to them Brass, they don't know what they're talking about.

Just buy a ticket and go to Japan and you too can be Charisma Man!
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