Are women in Japan as shallow as Americans?

[Brass]

As you guys all know I am very interested in going to Japan because I love their culture. I'm also interested in dating women (short term, sadly) while I am there.

I have pretty much given up on the shallowness of women in America where you have to look like Brad Pitt for them to give you the time of day. I am wondering if Japan is any better? I am not fat or anything, I am in good shape, but I'm not model looking. I also know how to talk to women.

Someday I want to eventually move there as I'm tired of living in a superficial country.

[MMM]

Your problem is not women in America but is you. Until you can get a little self confidence and self esteem, you are going to experience the same issues where ever you go. People who run away to Japan or anywhere in an effort to solve their problems usually find that their problems followed them there on their suitcase. (And why would any self respecting woman want to date a tourist short term?)

[Hatredcopter]

I'm tired of living in a superficial country.

If you feel this way about America, Japan is not the place you want to go. I'm not insinuating everyone in Japan is shallow or superficial, but Japan is often very much an image-based society, like it or not. ...And as far as Brad Pitt goes, hes popular enough in Japan that they've given him his own nickname there.

[Liloni]

Originally Posted by Brass

As you guys all know I am very interested in going to Japan because I love their culture. I'm also interested in dating women (short term, sadly) while I am there.

I have pretty much given up on the shallowness of women in America where you have to look like Brad Pitt for them to give you the time of day. I am wondering if Japan is any better? I am not fat or anything, I am in good shape, but I'm not model looking. I also know how to talk to women.

Someday I want to eventually move there as I'm tired of living in a superficial country.

Brass, what is your definition of shallow ? If a woman leaves you because you ask that kind of crude questions, no wonder the problem stands by you

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by Brass

As you guys all know I am very interested in going to Japan because I love their culture. I'm also interested in dating women (short term, sadly) while I am there.

I have pretty much given up on the shallowness of women in America where you have to look like Brad Pitt for them to give you the time of day. I am wondering if Japan is any better? I am not fat or anything, I am in good shape, but I'm not model looking. I also know how to talk to women.

Someday I want to eventually move there as I'm tired of living in a superficial country.

In my experience on JF, often no one is as deplorably shallow as taxi-cab American men and their never-ending pant of "Japanese womans better than American womans!".

I don't understand how people can in the same breath put down one set based because of the way they apparently use appearance bias, whilst elevating another set on the basis of a race bias. Some Japanese women have all the serene beauty of icebergs; only with nothing below the surface. Some American women are honestly unconcerned about looks. Don't generalize because all that does is closes doors to yourself or leads you into mistaken assumptions.

Is Japan, as a modern media culture less obsessed with appearance than any other country? No. They are just the same. Maybe in slightly different ways. But no less concerned. In fact in some ways they are worse. Pull the blinkers off. Japan's no heaven and the people there can be just as superficial and just as judgmental as anyone else. Baldness, fatness, ugliness are all just as lampooned in Japan as they are in the west.

Will you, an average looking male, get a girlfriend in Japan? Maybe, but even if she's not after you for your looks, she might still only be shallowly attracted to you as foreign meat to show off to her friends. And even being foreign is not enough nowadays to make up for major short-comings like a personality flaw. 'Cept the psychos and skanks. Seen a few of those doing the rounds.

[Jaydelart]

If all American women required a Brad Pitt in order to date or even marry a man, there would only be one married man in America. That doesn't seem to be the case.

Are all men stupid, egotisitical muscle-heads?
I wouldn't rely too much on generalizations, despite the fact that they may be valid to a point. You are right, there are a lot of shallow women in America, but there a lot of different kinds of people everywhere -- even Japan. It's just a matter of meeting the right people; it is possible you could be suffering from a case of bad luck.

There are Japanese-American women. And not all of them are "contaminated by the West" -- as is the usual attitude for this kind of thread.

[Brass]

Originally Posted by Hatredcopter

If you feel this way about America, Japan is not the place you want to go. I'm not insinuating everyone in Japan is shallow or superficial, but Japan is often very much an image-based society, like it or not. ...And as far as Brad Pitt goes, hes popular enough in Japan that they've given him his own nickname there.

Crap, are you serious? It can't possibly be as bad as America right? Every damn TV show here is about how good celebrities look and which celebrities got fat over the holidays.

Maybe it's the celebrity culture I hate here and how much being good looking and popular is valued here.

I really hate being born here in America because I refuse to buy $1000's of dollars on clothes each year and $1000's of dollars on plastic surgery. I was hoping Japan would be better. I guess maybe not.

[Brass]

I am really surprised there are so many people here to jump up and defend America. Are you guys really unconvinced that this is the shallowest place on earth? Hollywood culture is practically worshiped here. Being intelligent, or even acting like you have common sense is ridiculed. This has to be the worst non third-world country on earth.

And yes, of course, there are honest caring women here and there are some superficial shallow men here. I know that. There are jewels and exceptions in every society. I have dated women who were honest and non-shallow. I'm not putting down every single woman in this country.

The issue I have is the culture itself and the sheer amount of superficial women here. I realize Japan is not an oasis but I was looking for something better than here.

[MMM]

Brass,

You talk about how superficial America is.

Who is the guy who was dating a single mother, but wanted to break it off, but didn't know how because she treated you so well?

Originally Posted by Brass

I have been dating someone for about 4 months but didn't plan to stay with her this long for various reasons (one of the major ones is that she has kids from a ex boyfriend). I planned for this to be a short fling but she is a really nice person and she treats me well. Do you guys have any suggestions on how I should approach this situation? I feel like a complete ass for not wanting a real LTR with her but the honest truth is I don't want a LTR with someone who has kids.

How superficial is that? You would sacrifice a kid for your own pleasure.

I think you do not know what superficial means, and for a guy in his late 20s know very little about the world around you. It seems if people don't meet your needs, they are then superficial. Maybe going to Japan would be a good eye-opener for you. or maybe you would be convinced Japan is another place where women don't fall to your feet begging for your attention.

If you hate America so much, please go out and see the world. That is the best way for you to learn how good you really have it here.

Do you think people don't look up to the rich, famous and beautiful in Japan? In India? in the UK? in China?

I am not sure where you live in the US, and I can understand complaining about the Hollywood culture if you live in Hollywood, but I live in Oregon, where you can associate yourself with that "shallow" culture as much or as little as you like.

In my experience most people that lump Americans all as "shallow" or "superficial" or words like that have generally seen little of America. They are also generally teenagers or pre-teenagers, and that is what you sound like.

Originally Posted by Brass

I'm not putting down every single woman in this country.

Look at the title of the thread.

[Jaydelart]

May I ask how many countries you have been to? Not to sound condescending.

The grass always seems greener on the other side: A very old cliché. But very true, in most cases.
You'll live in Japan, discover its problems, overcome them... and realize you could have done the same in America. At least, that's my theory; I'm definitely prone to error.