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04-14-2011, 04:43 PM

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Originally Posted by RealJames View Post
I'm not sure that I see opposition to a language barrier as a racist thing. In the above situation I personally wouldn't oppose the marriage but I wouldn't be upset at someone who did, certainly not call them racist, maybe selfish though.

Culture would just be the same but to a lesser extent, and while it might be selfish as hell to want to associate with the same culture for the sake of ease, it's not a prejudice.
If it is only a case of the family objecting to the obstacles the couple would encounter due to language barriers, then yes it is an understandable and reasonable objection. However, it is an objection that I would acknowledge and then dismiss. But there are instances where a difference in language sparks an absolutely a prejudicial and bigotted response. I encountered it as a child and I see it frequently. Because you speak differently assumptions are made and judgements pronounced with no factual basis. It can even be as simple as phrasing or a different accent in the same language that triggers unwarranted and harmful discrimination as severe as if there was a racial difference.

And in many cases of what may be perceived as racial discrimination the family members are not racist at all, but are raising objections out of concern for what the couple will have to deal with because of the prejudice of others. It is a valid objection that a couple should consider and be mindful of, but not racisim on the part of the family. And there are plenty of other obstacles to happy marriages so this should not be a deciding factor any more than language.


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04-14-2011, 07:26 PM

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Originally Posted by RealJames View Post
I see what you're saying but I'm not sure I agree, hear me out a sec:

If I were a parent, and spoke only English, and my daughter spoke English and lets say Thai, and she met a Thai guy who spoke little to no English, would it be racist for me to say that her marrying him will create an awkwardness in the family, or to put it differently, it would be much nicer for everyone in the family if her husband spoke English.

I'm not sure that I see opposition to a language barrier as a racist thing. In the above situation I personally wouldn't oppose the marriage but I wouldn't be upset at someone who did, certainly not call them racist, maybe selfish though.

Culture would just be the same but to a lesser extent, and while it might be selfish as hell to want to associate with the same culture for the sake of ease, it's not a prejudice.
Someone doesn't marry someone to make their parents comfortable. They marry them because they love them. Sure it would be "nicer" if we all spoke the same languages, but if she speaks Thai, and he speaks Thai, then who am I to say don't get married?

The language barrier is not between the daughter and her husband, but the husband and her parents. In short, it's none of their business.

And it is absolutely prejudiced to want your daughter to only marry within your culture.
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04-15-2011, 01:48 AM

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Originally Posted by MMM View Post
Someone doesn't marry someone to make their parents comfortable. They marry them because they love them. Sure it would be "nicer" if we all spoke the same languages, but if she speaks Thai, and he speaks Thai, then who am I to say don't get married?

The language barrier is not between the daughter and her husband, but the husband and her parents. In short, it's none of their business.

And it is absolutely prejudiced to want your daughter to only marry within your culture.
I agree and if it were me and I felt they really did love each other I would take on the challenge of learning the husband's language whole heartedly. I can never understand why people aren't excited about opportunities to explore new cultures. There's so much out there to experience and if you've got people living in that culture who can guide you, it's perfect!!


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04-15-2011, 02:27 AM

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