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Yonsu (Offline)
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Foreign Exchange: Help? - 10-28-2008, 02:52 AM

This is such a common topic, and I'm horribly sorry for forming yet another thread, but I would like some advice on possibly assuring my parents?

Before I start, here's a brief introduction. =] My name is Annie. I'm 15 years old, and I will be turning 16 in May. I live in Southern California, and I moved over to the US from Korea about a year ago. (However I went to an American international school and am actually an American citizen, so no, it's not like I magically picked up English in a year. XD) Because I'm taking Spanish in school, I'm self-teaching myself Japanese. I'm almost halfway through the first year of a Japanese textbook. I've always been interested in Japan, and although I have quite literally lived only an hour's plane ride away from Japan for almost my entire life, I've never taken a single trip. I never thought of actually going to Japan until last year, when I ran across a magazine that featured the story of a girl who went for a semester to Japan through YFU. That inspired me to look into foreign exchange, and for a while I've been finding out different programs, writing mock applications, comparing costs, and other little things. I hoped to go to a summer exchange program, because although going as a tourist is fun, I wanted to actually 'immerse' myself rather than see a country through a third-person view.

I'd gone through a lot of digging and compared many different programs. This summer, I finally decided that I would try to go to Japan through YFU, one of the most trusted programs in the US. I contacted a few YFU alumni (one of whom is JF member--arigatou gozaimasu!) and an alumni in my high school. I was rather far into completing the application when a relative of mine said absolutely no. I was rather bummed. I knew there was a very big chance of my family saying that was a bad idea, but I had hoped for the best.

I know my age is a huge factor in this one. After all a 15/16 year old isn't the most mature person in the world, and they certainly aren't depicted as mature in the media. I realize that while I'm not an utter bonehead, I've lived my life wrapped up in an academic bubble and never had any real worldly experience. I've grown up sheltered and protected as the baby in the family. But I want to take this chance--not only to experience Japan and practice my language skills--but also to grow up and challenge myself. I know there are lots of risks involved in traveling by myself in a foreign country, and my parents are most afraid of something horrible happening to me as it had happened to other people before.

Would there be any way to assure them of my going to Japan, or am I just being too idealistic/immature/naive/whatever you want to call it? Should I put this off for when I'm older? I would like some input from other fellow JF members. I'm sure this issue has been addressed many times, but I wasn't able to find any threads. Anyhow, I spent quite a bit of time contemplating over what to write and whether or not I sounded whiny, and I certainly hope I did not.

Thank you so much for your time!
-Yonsu
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jasonbvr (Offline)
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10-28-2008, 12:45 PM

My advice is to wait till you are able to attend a Japanese university for a semester or two abroad. I see high school students everyday riding their bikes to and from school at all hours of the day, and I assure you there is nothing to envy.

On the tourist versus immersion note, I suggest you travel as a tourist first in your life then morph into an immersion type. Responsibility honestly sucks when all you want to do is get out and explore.

Last bit of advice, try talking them into a summer study program first before pulling a whole year. For your family's point of view a few weeks of missing you would be a lot easier to cope with than a full year, and this would also help you out a lot as well. I am unsure if you've ever lived away from home for an extended period of time, but it can be rather daunting at times.
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Yonsu (Offline)
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10-28-2008, 11:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonbvr View Post
My advice is to wait till you are able to attend a Japanese university for a semester or two abroad. I see high school students everyday riding their bikes to and from school at all hours of the day, and I assure you there is nothing to envy.

On the tourist versus immersion note, I suggest you travel as a tourist first in your life then morph into an immersion type. Responsibility honestly sucks when all you want to do is get out and explore.

Last bit of advice, try talking them into a summer study program first before pulling a whole year. For your family's point of view a few weeks of missing you would be a lot easier to cope with than a full year, and this would also help you out a lot as well. I am unsure if you've ever lived away from home for an extended period of time, but it can be rather daunting at times.
Thank you for the advice! ^^ I'm sorry I wasn't clear; I was actually talking about a summer exchange. Even I consider a year too long for me, let alone a semester!
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10-29-2008, 11:58 AM

Well then, in that case your parents are simply being unreasonable. Japan is far safer than the US.
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Harold (Offline)
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10-30-2008, 12:18 AM

What exactly have your parents told you?

I actually first told my mom that I wanted to do college exchange and eventually convinced her to let me go on a semester, even though I ended up going for the summer.

EDIT: You might find this site useful: Cultures Shocked forum - Powered by vBulletin


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Last edited by Harold : 10-30-2008 at 01:01 AM.
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uktokyoite (Offline)
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10-31-2008, 03:11 AM

Another tack to try if you haven't already is to really sit down and work out for yourself why you wan to go to Japan. Then think about how you will translate this for your parents. You need to have an argument/reasoning about the choice before you will persuade them to let you come. If you can show them that you are serious about this and have some long term goals in mind that might help them to see that this is a worthwhile venture for you.


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Yonsu (Offline)
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11-01-2008, 04:44 AM

Harold: Hi! *waves*

Oh, my mom is worried about motherly things in general. She's not particularly against the program; she's just afraid that horrible things might happen to me. Assault and kidnapping and getting stuffed up the wall, to name a few. O_o (I'm considering Spain as my second choice. Other than the money problem, mom was actually okay with me going to Spain, since she knows it's relatively safe. Thing is, Japan is relatively safe as well, as long as I'm not smack in the middle of Tokyo, and it's a heck of a lot closer to California than Spain. :P ) I'm so appreciative of her concern, but sometimes I wish I could convince her of my maturity. If I can last a month at a summer camp, there should be no reason why I can't last a couple weeks more, albeit it being a completely different country.

My mom was actually the person to bring up the topic of college exchange about a year ago, when I first found out about high school exchanges. =] She thinks I'm not old enough to go in my high school year. Thank you uktokyoite~ I've decided to write an essay and see if that can help convince my mom, even a little. And I'm going to work harder and try to make my own money.

<3

Edit: Harold, thank you for the website! I found it so incredibly valuable. It now has a permanent place in my faves list. ^^
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Harold (Offline)
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11-02-2008, 02:06 AM

If the safety of Japan is the only problem your mom has then it's not really a problem...

Just show her these:
Top 5 Safest Countries in the World - Associated Content
A Safer Society -- A special report.; Japanese Say No to Crime: Tough Methods, at a Price - New York Times

This one is probably your best bet:
NationMaster - Crime Statistics

This one compares different times of statistics relating to crime of most industrialized countries in the world.


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