Help with my oral test tomorrow

[RoseyM]

Hello everyone ^_^
I am currently taking first year Japanese and I am writing up my oral introduction of me and my family but I am having some problems.
So far we have learn't very basic sentences and I don't think much is expected of this 2-3 min intro but I would like to be a little bit descriptive of my family and try to get a good mark.
I would just like to add I don't want anyone to write the whole thing for me
I have done most of it and would just like advice on some things.

I will write what I have in Romanjii as I only have character map for Japanese hiragana etc and it is slow.
Bear with me as again I am new and it will probably sound very childish and simple.

Konnichiwa, Hajimemeshite?
Watashi no name wa Roseanna Desu, Nyuujirando jin desu, ni juu sai desu.
Kore wa watashi no kazoku desu, kazoku ha Hastings ni sunde imasu.
Kore wa Okasama desu, Kanojo wa Kaunsera desu. (She is a counselor)

That's what I have so far, I would like to go on to say "This is my grandmother, she lives with my mum" but I cant find a way to put it, as I don't know the word with or the particle for it.

Also I would like to end with I have a rabbit, which I can say but that "she lives inside and is very smart" ^_^

If anyone could help or even direct me to someone that could I would be very great full.
Thank you in advance.
ありがとうございます。

[Nagoyankee]

Originally Posted by RoseyM

　
Konnichiwa, Hajimemeshite?
Watashi no name wa Roseanna Desu, Nyuujirando jin desu, ni juu sai desu.
Kore wa watashi no kazoku desu, kazoku ha Hastings ni sunde imasu.
Kore wa Okasama desu, Kanojo wa Kaunsera desu. (She is a counselor)

That's what I have so far, I would like to go on to say "This is my grandmother, she lives with my mum" but I cant find a way to put it, as I don't know the word with or the particle for it.

Also I would like to end with I have a rabbit, which I can say but that "she lives inside and is very smart" ^_^

If anyone could help or even direct me to someone that could I would be very great full.
Thank you in advance.
ありがとうございます。

You do know you can say "hajimemashite" ONLY when you meet someone for the first time, don't you?

name > namae

ni juu sai > hatachi. We rarely say "20-sai." We have a special word "hatachi" to say it.

You don't call your own mom "okaasama". Say "haha".

kaunsera > kanseraa. Elongate that last syllable.

"This is my grandmother, she lives with my mum" > Kore wa (better yet "kochira wa") sobo desu. Sobo wa haha to issho ni sundeimasu.

" I have a rabbit. She lives inside and is very smart"
"Usagi wo katte imasu. Ie no naka de katte imasu. Atama no ii usagi desu."

Just holler if I can do more.

[RoseyM]

Originally Posted by Nagoyankee

You do know you can say "hajimemashite" ONLY when you meet someone for the first time, don't you?
I did'nt know that at all o.o I was told to say that in my speech at highschool as well

name > namae

ni juu sai > hatachi. We rarely say "20-sai." We have a special word "hatachi" to say it.
So I should say hatachi? Okay, I will do that.

You don't call your own mom "okaasama". Say "haha". I was going to say "Haha" but was told to say "Okaasam" when Talking to someone like a teacher etc and "Haha" To friends, I guess it differs maybe?

kaunsera > kanseraa. Elongate that last syllable.

"This is my grandmother, she lives with my mum" > Kore wa (better yet "kochira wa") sobo desu. Sobo wa haha to issho ni sundeimasu.

" I have a rabbit. She lives inside and is very smart"
"Usagi wo katte imasu. Ie no naka de katte imasu. Atama no ii usagi desu."

Just holler if I can do more.

Thank you so much for your time ^_^
I haven't yet to hear the word kochira, we were just taught the basic this, that, that over there. haha
Sigh, and I thought I was doing so well