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xGentax (Offline)
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相談もらいたい - 11-10-2009, 03:31 AM

「僕は自分の勉強で文語を練習していますでもどうやっ て文章に書いてよく分からないので君たちの提案聞きた い」。この文章は悪いですか?他の書いてる方法があり ますか?君たちの提案聞きたいお願いします。
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Nagoyankee (Offline)
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11-10-2009, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xGentax View Post
「僕は自分の勉強で文語を練習していますでもどうやっ て文章に書いてよく分からないので君たちの提案聞きた い」。この文章は悪いですか?他の書いてる方法があり ますか?君たちの提案聞きたいお願いします。
その文には2-3の問題があります。

自分の勉強で > 独学で

していますでも~~ > しています。でも~~

文章に書いて > 文章を書いたらいいか OR 文章 を書けばいいのか

君たち > みなさん/皆さん  「君たち」 will offend the older members.
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hirashin (Offline)
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Smile 11-10-2009, 06:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xGentax View Post
「僕は自分の勉強で文語を練習していますでもどうやっ て文章に書いてよく分からないので君たちの提案聞きた い」。この文章は悪いですか?他の書いてる方法があり ますか?君たちの提案聞きたいお願いします。
こんにちは、xGentaxさん。Let me correct some mistakes in your composition.

First of all, we would never say 相談もらいたい or 相談ください. We do say 相談があります, but the phrase would not be appropriate in this case. I think 添削(を)お願いします would be better.

If you are trying to mean "written Japanese" by 文語, it would be better to say 日本語の書き言葉 instead.

他の書いている方法 is incorrect. 他の書き方 or 他の言い方 would be better.

As Nagoyankee san says, 君たち would sound rude to older people. みなさん would be much better.

I also feel that the usage of 提案 is strange.

Enjoy learning Japanese. (^_^)/

ひらしん
  
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xGentax (Offline)
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Talking Thanks~ - 11-11-2009, 05:51 PM

There are so many things I am still unaware of, so I thank you both for replying with such great detail. If possible can I continue to create notes like this, so you guys could check or help me correct ways of explaining it? because I do not have a teacher lol so I appreciate your guys help!! once again thank you.
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11-11-2009, 10:11 PM

No problem. The only way to learn is by making mistakes. Feel free to continue posting your writings.
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hirashin (Offline)
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Smile 11-13-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xGentax View Post
There are so many things I am still unaware of, so I thank you both for replying with such great detail. If possible can I continue to create notes like this, so you guys could check or help me correct ways of explaining it? because I do not have a teacher lol so I appreciate your guys help!! once again thank you.
No sweat.

If you wanted me to teach you Japanese systematically, it would not be possible, but I can point out your mistakes in your Japanese compositions.

Keep up your good effort and enjoy learning Japanese.

(^_^)/

hirashin
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