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I'm writing a composition paper...

So, I'm supposed to write out a composition paper, and include a few things like:

Existence (iru, aru)
Position (back, front, on top of)
A positive and negative statement using an adjective/description
Incorporate 2 numbers
Like or dislike

So I'd like to post what I have so far and see if you all can make sure I haven't made any errors?

I'd start it off something like: Welcome to my house. (Is that said: "Uchi e youkoso"?)

Next: Watashi no "Chandula" ni arimasu.

Watashi wa inu nihiki to neko ipiki arimasu.

Watashi wa uchi no ushiro ni shinshitsu ga imasu. My bedroom is at the back of the house.

Kirei na uchi imasen. My house is not pretty/clean.

Inu wa urusai arimasu.

"Tedi bea" hitotsu arimasu. If I own it, but the bear is inanimate, is it "arimasu" or "imasu"?

Watashi no "tedi bea" wa me hutatsu imasu.

Uchi ga suki desu.

Shinshitsu ga kirai desu.

Bye, I'll see you later: Ja mata.

So far, so good?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tandakku (Post 808116)

I'd start it off something like: Welcome to my house. (Is that said: "Uchi e youkoso"?)

Next: Watashi no "Chandula" ni arimasu. ??? "It is in my chandelier?

Watashi wa inu nihiki to neko ipiki arimasu.

Watashi wa uchi no ushiro ni shinshitsu ga imasu. My bedroom is at the back of the house. Is that the term they taught you for bedroom? It's a little old school.

Kirei na uchi imasen. My house is not pretty/clean.

Inu wa urusai arimasu.

"Tedi bea" hitotsu arimasu. If I own it, but the bear is inanimate, is it "arimasu" or "imasu"?

Watashi no "tedi bea" wa me hutatsu imasu.

Uchi ga suki desu.

Shinshitsu ga kirai desu.

Bye, I'll see you later: Ja mata.

So far, so good?

Removed by author. Was only trying to help, but little mistakes caused other pandatic people to create a huge fuss over maybe a couple of mistakes, one of which was the only valid complaint.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WoHenNi (Post 808132)

一つのテディー・ベアがあります。Hitotsu No Teddy Bear Ga Arimasu.

You say "Arimasu", because it is not living. You just needed to change sentence structure. It now says "I have one Teddy Bear".

This one raises a question for native speakers, something I had never thought about.
Kids who think their toys are actually alive or their cute teddy bear they talk to and play with, well do they use いる? And would that be acceptable?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chryuop (Post 808163)

Wow, that is a good point. From a non-native perspective, I can't see why that wouldn't be acceptable; but anyone who is a native should shed some light! :mtongue:

Quote:

Originally Posted by tandakku (Post 808116)

So, I'm supposed to write out a composition paper, and include a few things like:

I'd start it off something like: Welcome to my house. (Is that said: "Uchi e youkoso"?)

Next: Watashi no "Chandula" ni arimasu.

Watashi wa uchi no ushiro ni shinshitsu ga imasu. My bedroom is at the back of the house.

Kirei na uchi imasen. My house is not pretty/clean.

Inu wa urusai arimasu.

Uchi ga suki desu.

Shinshitsu ga kirai desu.

Bye, I'll see you later: Ja mata.

So far, so good?

MMM pointed out all the things that need correction, but I'm going to address a few things that seem pretty big to me.
First, 'Kireina uchi imasen' sounds to me like 'There isn't a pretty house', also, you use iru for living, animate objects. If you were to phrase it like this (which sounds weird to me), you would say Kireina uchi arimasen (きれいなうちありません). You're writing a composition, too, so you're totally missing any particles in here. It would sound more natural if you phrased it like 'The house isn't pretty/clean', and you'll use desu(です), not aru(ある). I'll let you try to do this.

Also, to WoHenNi, きれいじゃないうちです sounds weird too >_> why go through the trouble of making a relative clause when you could construct a simpler sentence with (noun)は(adjective)です (changing です, of course, but I'm trying to help OP do this themself).

(Gonna post more after class, will edit in a few hours)

I just hope that you are not going to write this composition in romaji. It's better to get in the habit of writing in characters.

Please never try to teach Japanese to another person until you get better. It is outrageously rude to do so. I've changed the color of the things you got wrong. You've made so many errors that you did not help at all. I'm not trying to be rude, but it is very, very important that you understand that if your Japanese is not good, you are not doing anyone any favors by "helping." Although, to be fair, you made fewer mistakes toward the end of your post.

Please take the corrections to heart, as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WoHenNi (Post 808132)

There's just a few little errors. My Japanese isn't absolutely perfect, so anyone else can feel free to correct me if necessary! ^^

If you're trying to say "This is my Chandelier", (if by "Chandula", you do in fact mean chandelier) then it should be:
私のチャンデリアがあります。　Watashi No Chanderia Ga Arimasu.

If you like, the "Watashi No" isn't really needed and you can drop it. Though, it makes no difference if you don't. :)

It absolutely changes the meaning of チャンデリアがあります from "I have a chandelier" to "there is a chandelier"

Furthermore, "This is my chandelier" is これは私のチャンデリアです。, just by "textbook" Japanese.

私の～　Watashi No.

"No" is the particle you use to say something is yours. Otherwise, the sentence as you wrote it reads as "I am the cat and the dog". Also, don't forget to change "Arimasu" to "Imasu" (your animals are living)... and put a "Ga" inbetween "Ipiki" and "Imasu".

が goes before 一匹, not after.

You just need to get the correct particle and verb, and switch the sentence around a little. It should read:

私の寝室は家の後ろにあります。Watashi No Shinshitsu Wa Uchi No Ushiro Ni Arimasu.いえ

You just needed to change "Wa" to "No" and "Imasu" to "Arimasu", because your bedroom isn't a living thing.

I think I would say the following, instead:
奇麗じゃない家です。 Kirei Janai Uchi Desu. My house is not pretty. You do not mix じゃない with ます／です form

Though, if you want to keep it similar to yours:
奇麗な家がありません。Kirei Na Uchi Ga Arimasen.

I'm not 100% on this, but I THINK your version says "My clean house does not exist". It says "There are no pretty houses." Also, a careful writer of Japanese would not use kanji for きれい.

～います。 Imasu. Not Arimasu.

This says "The dog is noisy" or "I have a noisy dog" (if you're pointing at it or it's in the room). If you wanted to change it to "My dog is noisy" (assuming your dog isn't in the room), you might say:

私の犬は煩いです。Watashi No Inu Wa Urusai Desu.

Otherwise, what you wrote: you just need to add "Ga" between "Urusai" and "Imasu".

一つのテディー・ベアがあります。Hitotsu No Teddy Bear Ga Arimasu.

You say "Arimasu", because it is not living. You just needed to change sentence structure. It now says "I have one Teddy Bear".

～ありません。 It isn't living. And you forgot the "Ga" inbetween "Futatsu" and "Arimasu".

I hope I did alright, it was also a good practice for me! :)

Oh, and for future reference...

Imasu: To exist as a living thing, for example an animal or a human. Although plants are living things, they are Arimasu.
Arimasu: To exist as something that isn't living, for example, wood, a desk, toothpaste, a bottle...