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Kasper (Offline)
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short thank you letter - 01-04-2012, 06:42 AM

Hello, I'm trying to write a short thank you message to an elderly Japanese couple who invited me to visit their house for tea and snacks one afternoon a couple of days ago, but it needs correcting I think. The husband was a university professor but I'm not so sure of how to address his wife in the letter, or how to refer to both of them at once. Here's what I've written:
浅野先生と奥さんへ、
この間は、お八つに誘っていただきありがとうございま した。浅野先生と奥さんと一緒にお話しできて楽しかっ たです。私の下手な日本語を我慢してくれたありがとう ございました。もらったカレンダーは壁に掛けました。
ご迷惑でなければ、また会ったら嬉しいです。浅野先生 も奥さんもの親切に感謝しています。
ティリより

I wanted to say something along the lines of:
Dear professor Asano and Mrs. Asano,
Thank you very much for inviting me to tea the other day. I was very happy to be able to chat with you both and thank you for putting up with my poor Japanese. I've hung up the calender you gave me on my wall.
If it's not an inconvenience for you, I would be very happy to meet with you both again. I appreciate your kindness very much.
Sincerely, Tilly.

Thanks in advance! I'm sorry; there are probably a lot of mistakes. If you think any of the things I've put (such as that it might be nice to meet again) would be considered too forward or rude, please tell me too. I don't want them to feel in any way obligated by anything I've written.
Thank you and sorry for your trouble.
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masaegu's Avatar
masaegu (Offline)
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01-04-2012, 12:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
Hello, I'm trying to write a short thank you message to an elderly Japanese couple who invited me to visit their house for tea and snacks one afternoon a couple of days ago, but it needs correcting I think. The husband was a university professor but I'm not so sure of how to address his wife in the letter, or how to refer to both of them at once. Here's what I've written:
浅野先生と奥さんへ、
この間は、お八つに誘っていただきありがとうございま した。浅野先生と奥さんと一緒にお話しできて楽しかっ たです。私の下手な日本語を我慢してくれたありがとう ございました。もらったカレンダーは壁に掛けました。
ご迷惑でなければ、また会ったら嬉しいです。浅野先生 も奥さんもの親切に感謝しています。
ティリより

I wanted to say something along the lines of:
Dear professor Asano and Mrs. Asano,
Thank you very much for inviting me to tea the other day. I was very happy to be able to chat with you both and thank you for putting up with my poor Japanese. I've hung up the calender you gave me on my wall.
If it's not an inconvenience for you, I would be very happy to meet with you both again. I appreciate your kindness very much.
Sincerely, Tilly.

Thanks in advance! I'm sorry; there are probably a lot of mistakes. If you think any of the things I've put (such as that it might be nice to meet again) would be considered too forward or rude, please tell me too. I don't want them to feel in any way obligated by anything I've written.
Thank you and sorry for your trouble.
You need to write this one level higher by using more honorific speech.

奥さん >>> 奥様

お八つ Why use that kanji?

Here are your biggest mistakes by the native standards. You MUST use the honorific/humble/polite for these when talking to your professor.
くれる
もらう
Just cannot use these two words with your teacher. Sounds very rude and childish.

Make 会えたら polite. Cannot say 会ったら there.

浅野先生も奥さんもの sounds very awkward besides being incorrect. Do something. Where did you learn も + の?
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Kasper (Offline)
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01-04-2012, 01:13 PM

お八つ Why use that kanji?
- I used it because that's the one that came up when I typed おやつ and because the definition was the one I was after when I hovered over it with rikaichan. I simply trusted what these tools told me as I had nothing else to go on.

I suppose then that the honorific/humble/polite for these would be:
くれる - くださる
もらう - いただう


Make 会えたら polite. Cannot say 会ったら there. 
- I don't know how to make this polite, nor what to put in it's place. I'm sorry.

浅野先生も奥さんもの sounds very awkward besides being incorrect. Do something. Where did you learn も + の?
- I posted on this forum because I didn't know how to phrase this. 'Do something'.... I'm at a loss. I guess maybe would 浅野先生と奥様の be better? I guess I didn't learn も + の; I was simply putting particles together because I thought I arrived at an approximation of what I wanted to say.
Thank you for responding and I'm sorry that your abrasive writing style detracts from your good advice. It's not like I set out to get things wrong, I just don't know how to speak well yet in Japanese. It's hard to explain why I chose to say things in a certain way, except that it seemed the best way to me with the knowledge I have at the moment.
Thanks
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