strict and serious teachers WANTED!

[loveskyliemole]

Originally Posted by Alvinho

....I hope most Brazilians who live in your hometown are not troublemakers as well as a bunch of fools who don't respect local culture like those who live in the U.S., for instance.....

Well, it's hard to tell in a word.
There ARE some Brazilian people (usually guys) get arrested, we see the news on TV sometimes, but of course there are nice people too , I know.
However they told me it's not easy for them to make friends with local Japanese because of the language and also because of some bad people from South America made good South American people look bad.

In the near future I will work as an English teacher at primary or junior high school. I also want to work as a Japanese teacher for kids from overseas.

I envy you as you have a group of dudes to keep having conversations with....

You mean the "dudes" in this thread right?
Yes they are great, aren't they?

[Koir]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

yeah I wanted to laugh in my head, but
I found more like sadness, about this girl.

Was afraid of that. It's best to be there for the person until they can see what they may need to work on, and be a friend in the low times until then.

Here is a good story, just happened yesterday.

At my English school, we take the students out to the park often.
Yesterday, when one of our girl students was playing frisbee with our
American teacher, two higschool girls passed by and said
"This is not a place for foreigners." or something like that.
Then our student, got mad! She said how rude they were!
You know? our student is only 6 years old! and the high school girl maybe 15 or 16!

She asked me to go to the silly girls to tell them "You are bad girls!"

I was so moved you know?
Oh, my students are learning something "right"!
Even our students are not fluent in English, cos they go to reguler school everyday and come to our school only once or twice a week for 90 mins,
but they are learning something really important!

They think our American teacher is one of our best friends!
He isn't gaijin but our friend!

I love my students and I am so pround of them.

See? There IS a very good Japanese girl !
(oops but at the same time I told you about 2 rude Japanese girls.)

Indeed, but it's *very* good to see the next generation coming can still recognize ignorant behaviour when it appears, see how undesirable it is, and how to react to it.

Yes, he was a nice guy...

It's weekend and I don't have to get up early in the morning so let me write about this guy.

<<warning>>You don't have to read this, cos it's gonna be long and boring...

I'm still going to read it, because I like stories!

I would marry him, if he could be honest to tell me that he loved me before I decided to leave Melbourne for Sydney.We were both 25.
I have a romantic but sad love story...

We were "too good" friends and afraid to tell each other that we wanted to
be more than friends...
I found out that he missed me really bad after I left Melbourne.
I couldn't go back to him, cos I had a college to go to in Sydney.
It was all too late.

Later I met a guy and was living together.We went back to Japan together.

But accidentaly I met that guy when I visited in Melbourne for a month.(I didn't plan it)

We couldn't finish talking cos we hadn't met for over 2 or 3 years.
After having dinner, he was walking me to the railway station,
He said "Don't go back to Japan. Stay."
I didn't know what to say.
I sait to him "I wanted, but your country didn't give me a visa to stay forever" I said it as a joke, I actually never try to get the parmanent visa.
He didn't say anything for a long time.

I changed the subject.
"You should stop smoking and drink less for your health, I am worried."

and he said,
"I will, if you stay"

I was so sad...

Simply beautiful. Just like a drama show on television...

I knew that that was the best he could say to me, he wasn't good at dealing with girls, he was more like a guy having a lot of guys friends and very popular among them but not girls.

you know, if you are a shy guy just like him,
but you have to tell the girl if you really like her.

I was, but for different reasons. After meeting two women who have done a lot for me, I'm not shy anymore.

I might have stayed, if he said something more.

We met a few times until the day I was leaving Melbourne for Japan.
The last day, we took a train together, he had to get off (for work) before me... he hugged me for a long long time even there were many people on that train.He have never done that such things before, he was too shy.
He knew and I knew too, it was going to be the very last time for us to meet.
and we were right.

But the memories each of you hold in your hearts will always be there. A source of strength in the dark times.

Yes, you are right. I actually said " naruhodo, so dayone!" to my computer!
I never though that way. Yes,he might have had a dream and "scary me" in there!
Actually his face wasn't scary to me at all, it looked more like a some kind of comedian to make people laugh, so even I met him in my dream, I wouldn't be scared, but for him! He had to see my most scary face ever! I don't think he can forget it for a long long time, oh what a poor man.

*laughs* Success!

We use degree Celsius too.
When we have over 25 degree at night,
we call that night "nettaiya".

It's nettaiya tonight!

It's nettaiya here as well, then

I meant it.
You saved me.
Your message saved me from upsetting feelings.
The old man didn't show up in my dream.

To defend one's friends from that which means them harm is one of the duties of a true warrior.

Oopsie,
It's 2:15 am and I should go back to work!
(I have a very important email to finish and send!)

Have a lovely weekend!

I shall.

[Alvinho]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

Well, it's hard to tell in a word.
There ARE some Brazilian people (usually guys) get arrested, we see the news on TV sometimes, but of course there are nice people too , I know.
However they told me it's not easy for them to make friends with local Japanese because of the language and also because of some bad people from South America made good South American people look bad.

In the near future I will work as an English teacher at primary or junior high school. I also want to work as a Japanese teacher for kids from overseas.




You mean the "dudes" in this thread right?
Yes they are great, aren't they?

I mean "dudes" the people you hang out with over there...

Within a few years I'm planning to take up another career at university....perhaps Linguistics, focusing on Spanish but in a Spanish-speaking country.....I'm glad you're willingly to spread languages knowledgment among kids...

[StripMahjong]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

I see.
I understand that cos it happens between Japanese and Japanese too.

そうですね。　僕はかんさいべんがかっこいいと思いま す。

もうかりまっか？　

If I don't look like a Japanese, then they wouldn't expect.
I sometimes think I should have my hair totally blonde and wear
coloured contacts then pretend like I can't understand Japanese.

いつかしてみます！　面白いかもしれません。

When I was working at a secondary college in Australia
as "a visitor teacher", the kids were all trying to teach me
all the bad and rude words but always their teachers stopped them.
The kids also wanted me to teach them bad ones in Japanese,
but as you know, our bad words don't sound as bad as yours.
or maybe Osaka dialect does, but I don't know much about it.

確かに英語の悪い言葉のほうが強いでしょう。　それは いいことかな？

But I couldn't be bothered to learn all the lesson "How to be a GOOD Japanese girl to be loved by Japanese men"
I just wanted to be real "ME"
so I told them no thank you and go away.

そうです！　本当のまゆみ先生のほうがいい。

I have a question!

How would you react when a Japanese woman sitting next to you
watching you and serves you like...
keep pouring your drink before you finish,
gives you tissue or towel just before you were trying to get one by yourself,
get a lighter and be ready to light up when you just touch the box of cigarette(maybe you don't smoke, but just imagine!)

Do you think this girl is a girl of all guys dream?

Hmm, I wouldn't mind it at first, but the more she did, the more uncomfortable I would get (if I didn't know her). That may just be cultural, though. Here in the US, guys are the ones expected to do things for the woman (take her out to dinner, buy her drinks, open doors for her, etc.). If a woman were doing as you said, it would seem strange to me after a while. I would feel like she were a saleswoman and going to try to sell me something!

For me, the girl I dream of is one with a sense of humor as weird as mine. I don't want someone that will serve me -- just someone I can laugh a lot with.

でも・・・僕のユーモアのセンスはすごく変だから、そ ういう女の人はまだ見つけません。

いや、それはちょっと間違ったかもしれません。　そう いう女の人は一度会ったことがあります。　最近、まゆ み先生は長い話を書いてくれましたから、今度は僕の出 番です！　つまらないなら、許してください。

（そして、全部日本語で書いてみます！）

六年ぐらい前に本屋で働きました。　ある日、とても背 が高い女の人の新人は働き始めました。　はは、僕は「 とても背が高い」と書いたのはちょっとおかしいかもし れませんけれど、本当に背が高いでした！　たぶん、百 九十センチ以上でした！　そのことはすごく目立ちまし た。　とにかく、背が高いだけじゃなくて、すごくきれ いでした。　僕たちはすぐに友達になりました。　毎日 、一緒にたくさん話しましたり、笑いましたりしました 。　同じのユーモアのセンスがありました。　そして、 僕はいずれすきになりました。

やっと、僕は告白することに決めました。　その日、僕 は友達に「話したいことがあります」と言いました。　 友達は「あ、私も話したいことがあります！」と言いま した。　もちろん、わくわくでした！　同じことだと思 っていました。　仕事の後に外で会いました。

僕は「話したいことは何ですか？」と聞きました。

友達は「私は平和部隊に入りました！　来月から、他の 国ですみます！」と言いました。

友達はすごく笑っていました。　彼女はいつも本当に平 和部隊に入りたいでした。　それは友達の夢でした。　 僕の心が痛くなりました。　今、何を話すべきだと考え ました。　まだ告白をしたら、友達は困ります。　同じ 気持ちがあったら、平和部隊に入れません　（僕はここ にいますから。　僕のお母さんはがんがありましたから 、他の国で住めませんでした。）。　同じ気持ちがなか ったら、それは最後のさようならになるかもしれません でした。

けっきょく、告白をしませんでした。　本当に彼女が好 きでしたから、夢を止めたくなかった。　僕はただ「う れしい！」とか、「おめでとう！」とか言いました。　 彼女は「あなたは話したいことが何でしたか？」と聞き ましたときに、僕は「ああ・・・忘れてしまいました」 と言いました。

今、僕たちはまだ友達で、時々彼女はアメリカに帰りま す。　そのときに、いつも一緒に遊んでいます。　彼女 はまだ平和部隊にいます。

Wow...I've never written so much Japanese before in my life. I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes, so I hope it all made sense. You don't have to correct it unless I made some really big mistakes that you think are important I know about.

And sorry that it's kind of a sad story.

Yes, you have been a bad student! haha
There are no new message in that Japanese Hiragana thread anymore.
I really want to help you guys! So please come again!
Even a short message will do, you know! Good practice!

はい、悪い学生でした。　すみません、先生！

But I tried to make up for it with that story. Hopefully it made sense... I think I may have gotten a little bit too ambitious, haha.

またね！

[loveskyliemole]

Originally Posted by Koir

Was afraid of that. It's best to be there for the person until they can see what they may need to work on, and be a friend in the low times until then.

I wasn't a good person, cos I couldn't like her.
I felt sad to see a Japanese girl was acting like that.
(I met her in Japan and in Australia both)

Indeed, but it's *very* good to see the next generation coming can still recognize ignorant behaviour when it appears, see how undesirable it is, and how to react to it.

I hope the 3 "bad"girls have some opportunitiy to learn that thing, before it's too late.

Simply beautiful. Just like a drama show on television...

Do you reckon?

I was, but for different reasons. After meeting two women who have done a lot for me, I'm not shy anymore.

What have they done?
I am qurious!

But the memories each of you hold in your hearts will always be there. A source of strength in the dark times.

You are right.

It doesn't mean that I have been cheating on my husband,
I met that guy before him and
now my best friend is my husband
and he is my family too,
so nothing would happen if I see the guy again.

*laughs* Success!

Yes, you are good at it!

It's nettaiya here as well, then

I hate nettaiya.
It's too hot and muggy so my cat doesn't want to come close to me!

but where I live, have "short" summer, so we won't have any more
nettaiya.

Here is webpage you can see the pictures of where my husband's parents live
and it's about 50km away from my place.
http://www.shinshu-tabi.com/hakubaziri.html

To defend one's friends from that which means them harm is one of the duties of a true warrior.

warrior? cool.

[loveskyliemole]

Originally Posted by Alvinho

I mean "dudes" the people you hang out with over there...

Within a few years I'm planning to take up another career at university....perhaps Linguistics, focusing on Spanish but in a Spanish-speaking country.....I'm glad you're willingly to spread languages knowledgment among kids...

I see, but I don't have many "dudes" to hang out with here in Nagano.

Yeah, I love kids, kids are fun!
I have been dealing with adults (customers) and they could be
soooooooooooooooooooooooo demanding and I get sick of it.
you know, kids can be selfish and all sometimes, but they are basically honest!

So your "spanish speaking countries" means like Europe?

[loveskyliemole]

Originally Posted by StripMahjong

そうですね。　僕はかんさいべんがかっこいいと思いま す。

もうかりまっか？　

Did you know that many Kansai girls think Kanto(around Tokyo) boys sound weak,
because of their accents and their slangs.
(but some think it sounds cool and intelligent.)

But for me (as a Kanto girl), Kansai diarect sounds too strong and mean sometimes.
I know they don't mean to be mean, but for example,
our sense of humour are quite different.
Many comedians are from Kansai area and I like some of them, but
I never laugh when I see them hitting and kicking each other to make people laugh.

I would laugh if I see a tiny baby girl is trying to punch a giant guy or something though.

But I have a few good friends from Kansai area,
and they said the same things about Kanto
that there are many things they don't understand.

Japan is a small country (with thousands of islands),
but our cultures in each ereas are quite different from each other.

いつかしてみます！　面白いかもしれません。

I will probablly do it, during my summer holidays.

確かに英語の悪い言葉のほうが強いでしょう。　それは いいことかな？

Well, I don't know if it's a good thing, but it's definitely "useful" I think.

When I meet/see some unbelievably "rude" Japanese person,

I use English in my head, or sometimes I say it aloud.


Once I said "sh-t" when I broke something, and
my little Aussie girl friend (she was 7 years old) said

"Oh Mayumi, don't say that! Say "Suger"!"

So since then I try to say suger instead of "sh-t".

"Sh-t" sounds very bad ? Is it inappropriate for me to use?

そうです！　本当のまゆみ先生のほうがいい。

I thought so too!

Hmm, I wouldn't mind it at first, but the more she did, the more uncomfortable I would get (if I didn't know her). That may just be cultural, though. Here in the US, guys are the ones expected to do things for the woman (take her out to dinner, buy her drinks, open doors for her, etc.). If a woman were doing as you said, it would seem strange to me after a while. I would feel like she were a saleswoman and going to try to sell me something!

hahaha, you are right!

I have a question,

Think
You are in Japan, you met a pretty a girl (Japanese), then you asked her out to dinner,
Would you pay everything? or Would you expect for her to pay a little bit?


There are 3 types of girls in Japan
(It's only written in Mayumi's book so I can't guarantee)

Type A: expecting boys to pay every single things. It doesn't mean they have no money, but they think they are selling their time to be with the boy, so they simply expect to be paid for it.

Type B: appreciates if the boys pay for it, and they take their purse out of her bag and ask him if he wants her to pay some too at the checking counter(In Japan, we don't usually pay at the table, but the counter near the exit), but deep down, they know or believe that the boy wouldn't say "yes, you pay half of it!", so they are not really going to pay any.

Type C: appreciates if the boys pay for it, but they pay some or half.
It could be depend on how rich the boy is. If the boy have a good job with a good pay, maybe Type C girl pay for the drinks. But if the boy is a student, this girl definitely pay half, even he is from a rich family.


I think 60% of 15-26 years old (sometimes over 27 too) are
type A girls.

Around 22-29 years old, some are changing and becoming Type B.

Basically, Type C girls are always Type C.
10% or less girls are this type.

Did I sound stupid? but this is what I believe.

For me, the girl I dream of is one with a sense of humor as weird as mine. I don't want someone that will serve me -- just someone I can laugh a lot with.

Yes! to laugh a lot together is very important and also
to support each other is really important too.
What a girl can do and what a boy can do is totally different, that's why
we can help each other, I think.

In Japan, usually girls expect boys to help and support her (especially in finance), that's why boys think it's unfair in the end.

でも・・・僕のユーモアのセンスはすごく変だから、そ ういう女の人はまだ見つけません。

ははは。
「まだ　見つかりません。」

日本にきたら　きっと　みつかりますよ！

いや、それはちょっと間違ったかもしれません。　そう いう女の人は一度会ったことがあります。　最近、まゆ み先生は長い話を書いてくれましたから、今度は僕の出 番です！　つまらないなら、許してください。
（そして、全部日本語で書いてみます！）

すご～い、がんばるね！えらいぞ～！

六年ぐらい前に本屋で働きました。　ある日、とても背 が高い女の人の新人は働き始めました。　はは、僕は「 とても背が高い」と書いたのはちょっとおかしいかもし れませんけれど、本当に背が高いでした！　たぶん、百 九十センチ以上でした！　そのことはすごく目立ちまし た。　とにかく、背が高いだけじゃなくて、すごくきれ いでした。　僕たちはすぐに友達になりました。　毎日 、一緒にたくさん話しましたり、笑いましたりしました 。　同じのユーモアのセンスがありました。　そして、 僕はいずれすきになりました。

すご～い！
私は１６０ｃｍくらいだから　うらやましいです！
きっとみえる世界がちがうんでしょうね！

やっと、僕は告白することに決めました。　その日、僕 は友達に「話したいことがあります」と言いました。　 友達は「あ、私も話したいことがあります！」と言いま した。　もちろん、わくわくでした！　同じことだと思 っていました。　仕事の後に外で会いました。
僕は「話したいことは何ですか？」と聞きました。

wow, so exciting!

友達は「私は平和部隊に入りました！　来月から、他の 国ですみます！」と言いました。

What?????

読んで、びっくりしました。

まさかそんな話だとは・・・。

友達はすごく笑っていました。　彼女はいつも本当に平 和部隊に入りたいでした。　それは友達の夢でした。　 僕の心が痛くなりました。　今、何を話すべきだと考え ました。　まだ告白をしたら、友達は困ります。　同じ 気持ちがあったら、平和部隊に入れません　（僕はここ にいますから。　僕のお母さんはがんがありましたから 、他の国で住めませんでした。）。　同じ気持ちがなか ったら、それは最後のさようならになるかもしれません でした。

けっきょく、告白をしませんでした。　本当に彼女が好 きでしたから、夢を止めたくなかった。　僕はただ「う れしい！」とか、「おめでとう！」とか言いました。　 彼女は「あなたは話したいことが何でしたか？」と聞き ましたときに、僕は「ああ・・・忘れてしまいました」 と言いました。

んんん・・・切ないですね。

でも平和部隊に入ったなんて、彼女は強くて素敵な女性 なんですね。

今、僕たちはまだ友達で、時々彼女はアメリカに帰りま す。　そのときに、いつも一緒に遊んでいます。　彼女 はまだ平和部隊にいます。

もし、二人が運命の二人、なら　いつかきっと　チャン スがあると思います。

Wow...I've never written so much Japanese before in my life. I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes, so I hope it all made sense. You don't have to correct it unless I made some really big mistakes that you think are important I know about.

Wow, I am impressed, man!!!
Your Japanese's totally great! I totally understand your love story!

And sorry that it's kind of a sad story.

It was a sad story, but I think it's beautiful too.

はい、悪い学生でした。　すみません、先生！

But I tried to make up for it with that story. Hopefully it made sense... I think I may have gotten a little bit too ambitious, haha.

またね！

Now I forgive you haha!

You can be fluent in the near future, I guarantee!

[Koir]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

I wasn't a good person, cos I couldn't like her.
I felt sad to see a Japanese girl was acting like that.
(I met her in Japan and in Australia both)

It's only natural to feel bad about not being friends with someone. What would help a person to get past that is knowing that it's neither person's fault really, things sometimes just don't happen.

I hope the 3 "bad"girls have some opportunitiy to learn that thing, before it's too late.

Now or in the future, if it is meant to happen it will happen.

Do you reckon?

That I do.

What have they done?
I am qurious!

*hides smile behind hand* Well, it's not the first thing that you would think of...not entirely---

*looks around forum*

*clears throat nervously* Moving on...

You are right.

It doesn't mean that I have been cheating on my husband,
I met that guy before him and
now my best friend is my husband
and he is my family too,
so nothing would happen if I see the guy again.

Good to know.

Yes, you are good at it!

*chuckles* Appreciations.

Here is webpage you can see the pictures of where my husband's parents live
and it's about 50km away from my place.
http://www.shinshu-tabi.com/hakubaziri.html

Oh, that looks like a very nice place. Hiking, breathtaking views...beautiful!

warrior? cool.

*smiles*

[loveskyliemole]

Originally Posted by Koir

It's only natural to feel bad about not being friends with someone. What would help a person to get past that is knowing that it's neither person's fault really, things sometimes just don't happen.

Yeah, you are right.

Right now, I have someone I really want to break up with.
It's not about a boyfriend, but a "customer".

She is a person doesn't understand how other people would feel,
she doesn't share with others, but try to get everything for her or only for her family.

I didn't know she was that bad.
Some people told me how unpleasant person she is for a friend, but
I wanted to believe "I" could change her...but I was totally wrong. She did this ugry attitude toward me too.
"Don't share, but getting everthing for herself" thing.

She is over 30. Her mind is settled.
It's so ugry to see people who acting greedy.

Everyone is talking bad things behind her back.
But the "bad things" aren't rumors but the true stories.
No one is gonna tell her that she should change otherwise she will loose something very important in the end.
Should I tell her?

Now or in the future, if it is meant to happen it will happen.

Yes, you are right.

*hides smile behind hand* Well, it's not the first thing that you would think of...not entirely---

Well, seriously I didn't have "the first thing" to think of, really.
but now I have hahaha.

Oh, that looks like a very nice place. Hiking, breathtaking views...beautiful!

Isn't it?

I'm going there on Tuesday and Wednesday.
On Thursday, I'm going to Tokyo.
I will spend over 10days there.
It's my summer break!

I want to forget everything about that customer who's been making me sick.

Koir, can you tell me about your relationship with people who you have chance to be with sometime?

Would you be honest with that person to tell her/him when she/he did something wrong? (especially when no one is going to tell them that)
Maybe it depends doesn't it?

I have been a person who always wanted to be honest and tell the truth.
Some appreciated, cos they actually knew they did something bad and others weren't happy about it, but cos no one told them so they had no chance to change it before.
But some didn't admit it, and just did something back at me.Making up some bad stories about me, and trying to tell others to make them believe I was the bad one... usually it didn't work though, I still felt awful.

Some told me that when people reached the certain age like over 25 or 30,
their mindset is just settled and hard to change.
So I'd better understand the fact and change MY idea and stop tell them the truth and try to change.......

Can you give me your advice?

[Koir]

Originally Posted by loveskyliemole

Yeah, you are right.

Right now, I have someone I really want to break up with.
It's not about a boyfriend, but a "customer".

She is a person doesn't understand how other people would feel,
she doesn't share with others, but try to get everything for her or only for her family.

I didn't know she was that bad.
Some people told me how unpleasant person she is for a friend, but
I wanted to believe "I" could change her...but I was totally wrong. She did this ugry attitude toward me too.
"Don't share, but getting everthing for herself" thing.

She is over 30. Her mind is settled.
It's so ugry to see people who acting greedy.

Everyone is talking bad things behind her back.
But the "bad things" aren't rumors but the true stories.
No one is gonna tell her that she should change otherwise she will loose something very important in the end.
Should I tell her?

Telling someone they need to change is one thing. Getting them to change, well...that is impossible. One of the necessary things to do on the road of maturity is being comfortable with who you are and the reasons you do things. In this case, she's chosen her path and there's nothing anyone else can do to change that in one stroke of effort.

Given that, I would make the effort (unless you have already) to actually confirm if these "bad things" are truthful or otherwise. Gossip is always bigger than facts and sometimes isn't made of facts at all.

I have the feeling that as time goes on, one of two things will happen. She'll keep on going the way she is, oblivious to all the damage she's doing to herself and her family until it all comes to an ugly end. Which is unfortunate and hopefully doesn't happen, but there is still the possibility.

To answer your question, I would only put forward your thoughts in the most constructive, nonjudgemental way you can. She may not react, she may be hostile, but at some level she will remember what you say. Not necessarily how you said it, but how she interprets it. The mind can be a very strange thing.

Well, seriously I didn't have "the first thing" to think of, really.
but now I have hahaha.

*chuckles* Eh heh heh...oops?

I'm going there on Tuesday and Wednesday.
On Thursday, I'm going to Tokyo.
I will spend over 10days there.
It's my summer break!

Have fun, Mayumi-san!

I want to forget everything about that customer who's been making me sick.

Nothing better than beautiful scenery, fresh air, and exercise to help the cares of the world slip off your shoulders for a while!

Koir, can you tell me about your relationship with people who you have chance to be with sometime?

Heh. That'll take a while...

Would you be honest with that person to tell her/him when she/he did something wrong? (especially when no one is going to tell them that)
Maybe it depends doesn't it?

It most definitely does depend. Humans don't all have the same instruction manuals :P

I have been a person who always wanted to be honest and tell the truth. Some appreciated, cos they actually knew they did something bad and others weren't happy about it, but cos no one told them so they had no chance to change it before.

Some would say it's destiny how you came into their lives and had the effect you did...

But some didn't admit it, and just did something back at me.Making up some bad stories about me, and trying to tell others to make them believe I was the bad one... usually it didn't work though, I still felt awful.

I believe you're a strong person and have gotten/will get past those unpleasant times. The people trying to ruin your reputation and hurt you will have that failure to think about along with their hatred and your all-too-true words.

Some told me that when people reached the certain age like over 25 or 30, their mindset is just settled and hard to change.
So I'd better understand the fact and change MY idea and stop tell them the truth and try to change.......

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't go cutting yourself off from those who may still need your help in the future. Just remember what you did before, what worked, what didn't, and why. And become more wise.

Can you give me your advice?

To the limit of my ability, I shall.