British guy looking for some help

[pjones92]

Hello everyone, I'm brand new to this forum, and I look forward to talking to you all.

I've been very lucky in that I've been offered a job in Tokyo (originally on a one year contract but this could be extended). I've been trying to get as much info as i can on what it might be like to live there, and have combed the web. There's plenty of sites, but what I'd really like is to hear your first hand accounts.

I've seen some of the threads on here, but it's lots of people who are planning on moving (some not for another 6 years - wtf?), and some from 12 year olds!

Me, I'm definitely moving over in early '08, I'm 32 and single so my main concerns are:

Where to live in Tokyo? (is there an established ex-pat community area like there is for say the Aussie community in Earls Court London? I've been looking at some real estate rental sites, but no idea what's good and bad)
How easy is it to get by not speaking the local language? (I won't need it for my job, but I'm thinking for everyday things like grocery shopping etc.?)
How easy is it to learn Japanese?
How easy is it to become part of the community? (making friends with locals etc? I won't know a single soul when I arrive)
How's the dating scene for a single ex-pat? (I read on here that a Japanese woman with a non-Japanese b/f is frowned upon? I also read on another forum a posting by an ex-pat female American who basically said there is no chance of an ex-pat having a relationship living in Japan - true?)
I've been reading a lot on hear about racism and people not wanting to sit next to you on buses and trains? Is this a big problem? Would people really not want to sit next to me!?

And any other helpful advice and stories of your experiences would be greatly appreciated, just so I know what's coming my way. Thanks a lot.

[clairebear]

Dont worry, some people always act like foreigners arent welcomed in Japan. There are foreign people on this forum who live in Japan, and they love it there. Of course some Japanese people dislike foreigners, but every country has racism.

I'm sure Japanese women who have non-japanese boyfriends arent frowned upon, either. :3

[MMM]

A lot of those questions are "depends" but let me tackle a few of the more concrete ones.

It is probably easier to live in Tokyo and not know Japanese than in other cities just because there is a signifigant nomadic foreign population that doesn't speak Japanese, so Tokyoites are more used to it.

That being said, start studying Japanese today. Every minute you spend studying now you will thank yourself later. Train stations and bus stops have signs in English, but that's about it. Go with the assumption that 99% of the people you meet in Japan won't be able to speak English.

Learning Japanese simply by living in Japan is hard. It's like being thrown into the lion's den with some sheets of metal and being told to forge some armor before the lion's eat you. Again, start learning now. Buy a text book (I'd recommend a real college "text book" rather than a "Japanese in 10 minutes a day" type book. If you were going for a week, that would be fine, but might as well learn the grammar so you can create your own sentences rather than be limited to the set phrases you are taught. I am partial to Youkoso.

Many people start studying Japanese and want to start getting the kanji down. I would learn hiragana and katakana, but focus on speaking and listening more than reading and writing. Especially if you aren't using Japanese for work your need to read and write is about 10% of your need to be able to speak and listen.

Especially when dating. Tokyo is a very modern city. Inter-racial couples are no big deal. They are no big deal throughout most of Japan. It is harder for ex-pat women to find love than men, though. But of all the foreigners I know that lived in Japan, I can't think of one (men and women) that didn't date a Japanese person at some point. A few of them even got married. That's the least of your worries (unless you are morbidly obese...)

Your employer should be helping you with housing, and you probably want to find something close to your work. Do you know what part of Tokyo you will be working in?

[jasonbvr]

I thought Tokyo was an expat community. Every restaurant I go in they hand me an English menu (I'm exaggerating a bit), and I am like, "WTF? I don't live in Tokyo. I kinda like Japanese menus." It's like getting a little puzzle every time I go out to eat that I must decipher in order to get food. Or you can do like my friend, close your eyes, point at something, and then wait for your surprise.

As far as learning Japanese, counting is the most important thing. Which is followed by learning how to order a beer. (Or was it the other way around?) A draft beer is nama bi-ru but just say nama and they'll get the picture. If they start making the international hand gesture for big or small, you will want to say oki chin. If your waitress blushes or slaps you, it is probably because you just said big wang in Japanese. This is where counting comes into play. You are going to need to quickly assess the number of cooks coming at you with sushi knives and the number of able bodied men in your party.

Not quite the answer you were looking for, but it is somewhat useful. Another useful phrase sounds like this, fella ski desk-a. Use this question when those dudes with knives are coming at you. They'll instantly understand your innocent mistake and apologize for getting so bent out of shape about it.

[vulgarshudder]

lol that ex pat woman was really sore.

Gaijin guys can get a japanese girlfriend noooo problem. You arrive in Japan, you get super powers to attract women wearing hot pants and knee highs in winter. Just head to a Hub ('british' style bar) and you'll have semi-english speaking girls flocking.

It's a bit of a lottery as to whether they'll turn psycho tho.

[pjones92]

Originally Posted by MMM

Your employer should be helping you with housing, and you probably want to find something close to your work. Do you know what part of Tokyo you will be working in?

You're right, my employer has offered me corporate housing for 2 months when I first move over or, if I find somewhere myself from the get go, they'll pay the first 2 months rent. My thinking is if I'm going to move, rather once and be settled, than twice within the space of 3 months. Right now, I only know the office address and I believe it's in an area called Chiyoda-ku? Postal code seems to be 102-0083 if I have it correctly. Is this a good area?

Thanks for all the other info and if anyone else has more advice to add, I'd really appreciate it.

[LawrenceT]

I live in Kyoto, so the situation of Tokyo is probably different. Please keep in mind that Tokyo is a bigger city with more expats.

Even though your job doesn't require Japanese skills, it is definately easier and enjoyable for you to live in Japan if you understand basic Japanese for most of the Japanese do not speak English and many of the documents, like health insurance, electricity gas bills, various application forms, are written in Japanese. If you have someone who can help you when you arrive in Japan, there would be no problem. Also, I suppose there is something like an international center where expats of various backgrounds can meet.

As for the prejudice against foreigners in general you mentioned, I'm inclined to say it is more about unfamiliarity of Japanese with foreigners. Think of it this way. A japanese who has never spoken to non-Japanese person (there are a lot of them, esp. old people) and s/he one day encounters a group of foreigners on a bus. S/he may get puzzled a bit and asks themselves, "how should I behave?" Is it alright to sit next to them? Should I ask if I may sit? (Oh, but they may not understand Japanese....) Something like this. This seeming prejudice arises from their concerns about social code of your country. They are too concerned to offend you.

However, there are more serious issue which may well called prejudice and should be corrected. For example, you will be surprised how many landlords do not want to rent rooms to foreigners. And I see this landlords' atitude depends on your nationality.

Since you mentioned girls and having relationship, let me write a little about this. It is basically just up to you. And I don't think younger generations do not frown upon foreigners nor their boy/girlfriends. Japanese now in their twenties or younger are much more open-minded than those in their forties or fifties. Though, sadly, they may have strong images of you "country" and at first they may see you as something like a typical English. It may take a while for them to see you as a person not a country. You may hear them say, "Well, he is British, so probably he doesn't want to do...." It is a stumbling block when you want to be a part of a community. But always, you can find more open-minded ones. This is just about their personality, how they see other people.

Make the most out of your stay in Japan! Good luck. There is always a solution. Just take it easy, and be slow to form your opinion of people you meet in Japan and keep looking for nice friends.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by pjones92

You're right, my employer has offered me corporate housing for 2 months when I first move over or, if I find somewhere myself from the get go, they'll pay the first 2 months rent. My thinking is if I'm going to move, rather once and be settled, than twice within the space of 3 months. Right now, I only know the office address and I believe it's in an area called Chiyoda-ku? Postal code seems to be 102-0083 if I have it correctly. Is this a good area?

Thanks for all the other info and if anyone else has more advice to add, I'd really appreciate it.

Take the corporate housing. Get familiar. That's one less thing to worry about. I don't know how you could confidently rent an apartment without seeing it first. I have seem MANY pics on line of spacious apartments "5 minutes from station" that are s***holes a 5 minute taxi ride, or 20 minutes walk from the station.

You need to SEE the apartment you want.

[LawrenceT]

sorry, i should've proofread my posting above...too many typos.

[adama]

I work in Chiyoda, not too far from where you'll be working. Check your PMs.