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I know it's something I said before, but... - 05-09-2008, 02:41 PM

...after reading this, I feel it needs to be said again.

ANYONE who is sexually active, be careful (especially out here!!!). This story is pretty shocking



AIDS spreading via dating sites: fact or fiction?

The rumor mill had it that HIV, the AIDS virus, was spreading among users of “deaikei” (encounter) websites. These specialize in bringing strangers together as potential sexual partners. It sounded at least plausible, and so Spa! got a reporting team together.

Two months of research turned up one man who claimed to have been infected by a woman encountered through a deaikei site. One person in two months is hardly an epidemic, Spa! readily acknowledges. So you can take the following story for what you think it’s worth. Keep in mind as you read, Spa! suggests, that according to a Health Ministry report released in February, AIDS tests in 2006 turned up 1048 new cases of HIV infection—an increase of 96 over 2005 and the most ever in a single year.

The man whose story Spa! tells is identified as “T.” At 38, married and with one child, he’s a veteran deaikei dater, having frequented deaikei websites and their terrestrial precursors (deaikei pubs, bars, telephone clubs and so on) since college.

He figured there wasn’t much about the genre he didn’t know, and its risks didn’t daunt him, not even enough to use a condom. An occasional dose of gonorrhea was the price you paid for an active night life, and he didn’t mind paying it.

Last fall he dropped into a hospital with symptoms of a minor sexually transmitted disease and was told, “Why not take an AIDS test? It’s anonymous and the results come through the same day.”

Why not?

When told he had tested positive, his first reaction was, “Impossible!” Well, it was only a preliminary result, he was told; the final one would be released next day. It, too, was positive.

“I’d heard rumors about ‘deaikei AIDS women,’” T tells Spa! “but I figured it was mostly malice.”

Malice takes many forms. “In retrospect,” he says, “I thought I knew who had infected me.” He wanted revenge.

His imagination was working overtime. He would strangle her, but then, he decided, she probably had yakuza protection. He tried calling her, but she had apparently changed her cell phone number.

For a long time he’d been seeing a psychiatrist for depression. The depression deepened. He and his wife divorced. He learned that “the AIDS woman” was still operating at the deaikei site; “she must have slept with dozens of guys since.” He thought of warning them, but then thought, “Why should it be just me? Let them all get AIDS!

He refused treatment and instead spent more time than ever pursuing deaikei sex. “I slept with more women than I can count—two, three a week. No condoms. If the girl insisted, I prevailed on her to do it without one. Let them arrest me. I’m not raping anyone. Maybe I’ll commit suicide.”


Does this sound far-fetched? It doesn’t to Dr Tsuneo Akaeda, a gynecologist who for years has offered free weekly health consultations in Roppongi. He tells Spa! of a woman in her 20s who, when tested and found HIV positive, burst out, “Why me? Why? My friends play around much more than I do, without condoms.”

But when she came the following day for more precise testing, Akaeda says, she was calm, even when the positive result was confirmed. “Doctor,” she said, “I don’t want treatment. Instead, I’m going to do it with every guy who tries to pick me up.”

“I haven’t heard from her since,” says Akaeda. “She might very well be active on deaikei sites.
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05-09-2008, 02:47 PM

oh, and something I DIDN'T admit last time was that I know how scary getting tested can be... after I split with my first girlfriend out here, I hooked up with another girl who, it turned out, had chlamydia. Luckily I have always believed in protection so was pretty relieved when my tests came back 100% negative.

Even so, it still scared me to the point that I asked my next (and current) girlfriend to have a full std test before we had sex for the first time. She was fine with it and completely clean.. if she had not agreed to that, we would've been over pretty quickly lol

Anyway, my point is this: BE SAFE AND DON'T TAKE STUPID RISKS. The Japanese people I have spoken to about it seem to pretty naive when it comes to the topic of STD's
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05-09-2008, 03:12 PM

yet another reason for abstinence...


you see those birds outside your window? they're stalking you.

I may not be better than you, but you are no better than me.

May you have all you need, and may you never want what you don't need.
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05-09-2008, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurengl88 View Post
yet another reason for abstinence...
no, it's a reason to be careful...

If you are part of the god squad, please don't bother replying in this thread again as I will end up getting banned
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05-09-2008, 11:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chachava View Post
no, it's a reason to be careful...

If you are part of the god squad, please don't bother replying in this thread again as I will end up getting banned
I wish I wasn't abstinent, but it's not always your own decision...


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05-10-2008, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by samurai007 View Post
I wish I wasn't abstinent, but it's not always your own decision...
You can still be abstinent even if you've been raped or sexually abused. You just simply do not have sex according to your own will.


あいしてる
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05-10-2008, 03:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chachava View Post
no, it's a reason to be careful...

If you are part of the god squad, please don't bother replying in this thread again as I will end up getting banned
I'm not a part of the "god squad" and even I agree with abstinence to some extent. Seriously, it's the only 100% surefire way to not get anything like an STD. Some people are just abstinent for that reason, not because of religious reasons. Being abstinent, imo, is the same as being careful, just on a whole other level. I, personally, don't mind being abstinent and won't have sex with a guy unless I feel an emotional connection, first and foremost, and if he's clean.
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05-10-2008, 10:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orodreth View Post
You can still be abstinent even if you've been raped or sexually abused. You just simply do not have sex according to your own will.
I think you misread what they wrote....
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05-10-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SSJup81 View Post
I'm not a part of the "god squad" and even I agree with abstinence to some extent. Seriously, it's the only 100% surefire way to not get anything like an STD. Some people are just abstinent for that reason, not because of religious reasons. Being abstinent, imo, is the same as being careful, just on a whole other level. I, personally, don't mind being abstinent and won't have sex with a guy unless I feel an emotional connection, first and foremost, and if he's clean.

You sound a bit uptight to me, but I respect your morals...
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05-10-2008, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by chachava View Post
You sound a bit uptight to me, but I respect your morals...
How is it being uptight? It's not even my being moral, thinking about it. I don't think it's right to have casual sex. If I don't feel close enough to the guy to go to that next level, I won't, since it wouldn't be fair to me. If I'm going to give up my body to any guy I date, I should at least have some feelings of love involved towards him that are more than just friendly, which, ironically, has been a problem for me. In a way, I feel that I have expectations of a relationship and it never should be based on just sex alone, but this just my opinion. Seriously, if there was no emotional connection in the way that I want it, I'd feel like we were friends with benefits, not an actual couple.

I don't know if it's completely true or not, but I always read that for women, we have to mentally get into it before actually doing anything, where as for guys, it's more of a physical thing. Who knows, maybe it is a stereotype, but I definitely fit it. I have to be mentally and emotionally connected to my partner before even considering doing anything.

Last edited by SSJup81 : 05-10-2008 at 01:25 PM.
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