Japanese-teen angst
 

I know this sounds like some sort of sick perverted fantasy... but..

When I went to School in Japan I couldn't help but notice that all the girls have this strange lesbian-tension amongst one another...


I noticed that the girls and guys hardly communicated, and the girls were especially touchy-feely with each other... not just normal girls holding hands type of thing, but some serious affection was being shown! Stroking of hair, looking into each others eyes, holding! I was really surprised!

Then again I stayed in Takefu, which is a small town.

Anyone have any experience with rowdy Japanese schoolgirls?

The guys seemed pretty reserved and had it together pretty well, but the girls were obviously harboring some sexual anxiety.

I have seen several American guys/boys confuse the way Japanese classmates interact with each other as somehow sexual or lesbian.

I don't know what you experienced, but high schoolers, when they are together, aren't nearly as reserved as the image people have.

In my experience, it is not lesbianism, but just how girls communicate.

I don't think it's just a Japanese thing either. Most of my close lady friends in school kissed eachother on the lips, on several occasions, without being under the influence of Alcohol or drugs. And none of them are lesbian or bi-sexual (though, I don't even think that term should exist!)

I admit it was a bit shallow to refer to it as "lesbian".


I see what you mean.. but I myself had girls grab my butt in a Japanese school, which was flattering but somehow creepy. Not to mention some of the girls would visibly hike up their skirts after school hours.

Communication, sure. Subconscious sexual depravity, I believe so.

I don't know that either of us are qualified to say short skirts are a result of subconscious sexual depravity.

Girls wearing short skirts is not only popular fashion, it has been popular for decades. I don't think it is a psychological condition, or millions of girls all over the world will need therapy.

touché :smokingbear:

girls always do stuff like that, i always see chicks go to the bathroom together and stuff.

me thinks you been watching too much japanese porn.

*cue Steven Tyler eyebrow raise from the "Love In An Elevator" video*:eek:

I went to a girls` high school in Japan for a stint... And it`s normal. It`s nothing sexual. :mtongue: It`s just a difference in cultural norms. Thinking about the different attitudes toward certain behavior in terms of your own culture is sort of like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It`s just not going to work.

But I do have to say - I didn`t really find the normal behavior of Japanese girls all that different from that of those in the US... The only big difference was that in Japan, no one thought anything of it so it was totally normal to behave that way even with guys around. In the US - it was totally normal for girls (yes, high school age) to have sleep overs including bathing together, and "bra parties". It was just not something that was talked about when guys were around because, well, there was this horrible fear that they`d think you were a lesbian when you weren`t. And no girl wanted the guy she had a crush on to think that she wasn`t available. :vsign:

ETA;
If you think that hiking skirts up is something unique to Japan, I invite you to visit ANY private US school that has students wear a uniform. It usually starts in the last couple years of grade school, and 100% by middle school. (If you don`t, you`re generally a social outcast.)

It isn't just the girls. The guys are more comfortable in their own skin too and more affectionate than what qualifies as the norm in the States or Australia.

Take for example these two guys who I am friends with. They are both 25, seniors in university. We're out drinking and talking about movies. One asks if I like the Terminator movies. Then he asks, "You know how when Arnold comes to the past he is naked? Look at this." He sits there scrolling through his keitai for like five minutes to find a picture of him and eight other guys. "See we are all naked like the Terminator. So and so (the other guy at the bar) took the picture for us." Not homosexaul, I promise. I've met a few gay Japanese guys, and they are far more open about it.

This kind of behavior can be fairly normal. A girlfriend of mine, everytime she goes to the onsen, can't help to describe to me some lady's breast. Trust me, it isn't really sexual just a more open society.

That would take some getting used to, but I find it odd how no one addressed the, , is this also considered a "cultural norm" because if it is, gives me chills.

It is. Girls also often grab other girls` breasts, poke guys in the crotch, etc. Guys also do the same to each other.

I have had my package poked more than once by Japanese guys.

In American thinking that must mean you are gay, but that is from the cultural glasses we look through. There is nothing gay about it. I know it is hard to believe for some, but culturally, Japanese people seem much more comfortable in their own skin and with their sexuality than most Americans.

I have gone out drinking with Japanese guys, and they are much more physically affectionate (to show friendship) than any of my friends in the US.

Why is this true when most children do not hug their parents or siblings? Maybe that is why...I am not qualified to say that is related or not...food for thought.

Americans and other former English colonies (Canada/Australia/New Zealand) are the odd one out really. In Europe, sexuality isn't taken nearly as seriously neither.

I am sure you are right about that. My Japanese friends often put their arms over my shoulder, hand on my leg, walk arm in arm (after a few drinks), which would be basically unheard of the US in public.

I think it has got to do with "think of the children" and political correctness.

I am not sure about that. I think it is just comfort with physical contact. I find Americans can be contradictory about that...and Japanese can be to, depending on the situation.

Back when we were dating, my husband shaved and then penciled his eyebrows. He rarely bothers these days as it takes time and is a pain...
But anyway, it is perfectly normal here. They sell little men`s grooming kits everywhere, and even makeup stuff for men.
Every single person I spoke to in the US said he HAD to be gay because of it... And added to the fact that he loved to go to a public bath during the summer (there was a really nice one near where we lived... It was great to walk to it in the summer night.) and get naked with other men in the room - it was set in stone.

I really do not think that it is true at all that children do not get that much affection from parents and siblings. Most kids sleep, bathe, and do everything with their family members. There is no need to go out of the way to express physical affection as chances are you are stuck to a family member most of your childhood. Mothers and daughters, fathers and sons seem to be very affectionate to each other, at least in my eyes. The school behavior is learned at home with parents and siblings - but with family it`s embarrassing to do so in public.

I think Japanese children get a lot of physical affection from parents, but something seems to happen at some point where that seems not OK. The Japanese adults I know have almost no physical contact with their parents or siblings...even if they are comfortable being naked in front of them. On the other hand, I can be physical with my (American) family, but the thought of being naked in front of them is vomit-inducing.

Any girl would do that, because me and my friends would all hold hands or play with each others hair.

I dont live in Japan, but thats just the girls act, but why didnt you notice that at your old school?

I just find it so odd/interesting as all I have heard about Japan socially is that it's so "hands-off". I thought that was the whole purpose of bowing as to not touch each other. Also, I believe MMM said in other thread about how Japanese find hugging kind of awkward(I may be remembering this wrong, feel free to shoot this down) but when I was thinking about the whole Onsen thing, it doesn't match up. I guess I can just chalk that up to cultural difference. I guess I don't have to worry about getting my junk poked, male or female, as I'll probably be there when I'm 21-22(considering all that stuff is highschool and not college).

Then again I'm a more physical person as I like contact so I guess it wouldn't be too weird, take some getting used to.

Trust me, I went to a High School in the U.S. where kids were especially perverted- but this type of affection (grabbing breasts, poking weiners were all things I witnessed in Japan) just seemed kind of... not Japanese.

Especially them grabbing my behind.

Another thing that happened was a girl walked by me and sensually rubbed my chest... you know like an up and down "oooooOOoO" Chest rub O_O

I haven't told anyone this lol.



I've learned a lot from this thread

Well, I have 2 theories then:

1. Your a stud
2. See 1.

But seriously, reading this thread has also made me bust some of my misconceptions. I went to a small private school in Houston for all my schooling so this is all new to me. I do have a few questions though, was this a school in the city or in the country that you were at? You said you went to High School in the US so did this happen in college or did you take part of highschool in Japan? Sorry if I asked questions you already answered.

:smokingbear: I am, indeed, a stud... that answers everything (:rolleyes:)

But in all seriousness, the school I was at in Japan was a rural High School.

I only have experience with city schools, so I think that it is totally dependent of the area. It`s just something normal.

But... I hate to burst the bubble...

Girls never feel up guys they like. :P It`s something reserved for the joking friendly level.

Oh God....



Someone take me to Japan.

"alanx? Yeah, it's reality. You've been avoiding me lately, and I really don't think that's too healthy."

:rolleyes:

My Aunt is hosting a girl from Japan and I actually asked her about this. She said it's just how they act to each other. And that they do this because most of them (especially in small towns) grew up together and know each other inside and out.

Okay Dr.Phil.

For girls who are especially close, you tend to grow
sisterly bonds between each other, so you begin to
treat them as a sister, and a lot of people do give
their close friends kisses and such.
Some of my friends have done the same, with their
boyfriend's present, and with no problems.

I guess these days, it's just another way of showing
your friendship and appreciation for each other.

Seeing as people aren't AS reserved as they used to be.
Sexuality is also much more open.

Guys probably do the same as well, but maybe not as
drastic as to kissing each other, at least it's not common
in the U.S unless it's family.

Forget the girls.
The boys grab some serious ass in class...mostly other boys asses:eek:
Anyone who has taught over here knows what I'm saying.

you bring up a good point that shows that communiction b/w friends are different no matter where you live

reading this conversation im starting to think that the majority of Americans are a tad paranoid w/ physical communication and their sexuality. so i guess we really are the odd ones out

i think this is a way of showing friends that we are strong cuz we dont need any one evn family which in my opinion is stupid.

...in your sig, did you seriously get that from the foreign kid in Jimmy Neutron?

okay that is sooooooo not normal for girls and boys to do.:eek:
*i think im scared*
im not sure i want to go to collage there anymore.:eek:

I think that is a good assessment.

I don't think that's weird to be honest. I hold hands and kiss my friend and everything, nobody really cares. It's not seen as weird.

I had to go home and change my skirt once because it was apparently too short! I'd been wearing it for a year and they suddenly started caring then! In England school uniform is the norm and I see people do this ALL the time.

Wearing a mini skirt doesn't mean you are sexually deprived [LOL] That's funny to me since I always wear them. It just suits my body type, they are comfy and easy to walk about in, and as long as they are what I call 'wind-proof' [so they don't fly up and expose you in the middle of school D: argh!] they are fine.

To be honest I never really got the impression they would be radically different to me personality wise. There are cultural differences yes, but there are too many individuals to say 'Japanese school girls are like ____' [That's obvious, but still.]

its not weird because i mean if you think about it, i have changed clothes in front of my friends and held hands with them kissed them, ect.
its just the same everywhere i guess, because i mean i have even slept with my friends hugging them and no one think its like weird, or not normal.

Boys don't do those things...so that's why it came up.