Though you probably don't care, "You know you've been in China to long when . . ."

[Lilongyue]

Read a similar thread about Japan, still have to laugh at some of the similarities.

Here it goes:

- you give a beggar a handful of fen and he gives them back.
- squat toilets make you dizzy, but you believe they are cleaner than western toilets.
- you tell people you don't understand when they speak so they write it down for you, in Chinese.
- when you visit home to see your family you have difficulty sleeping because it's too quiet.
- at a restaurant you actually put some thought into which live snake you want cooked for your meal.
- you drink warm sodas and find them refreshing.
- you believe absolutely everything that can possibly be eaten is in some way good for your health.
- you forget that vegetable soup is actually pesticide broth.
- you begin to like fruit salad and mayonnaise.
- you love doufu because there's nothing to spit out and it doesn't have any taste.
- you comment that the pollution today "isn't really that bad…….."
- you start wearing a face mask on windy days, and wonder at the "silly foreigners" who don't do the same.
- you no longer use articles when you speak.
- you know words in Chinese for which you don't know the translation in English.
- you reply "So is mine" when people say their English is poor.
- you telephone home and your family tell you to speak faster and stop correcting their grammar.
- you start saying things like: "I very like"
- your boss thinks you're a stupid foreigner if you let him cheat you, but thinks you're a bad foreigner if you don't.
- your boss speaks really good English until you ask for more money.
- you have no qualms that someone who thinks you're stupid and gullible has total control over your life.
- you bargain with the grocer over the cost of a head of lettuce.
- you see nothing wrong with standing on a white stripe in the middle of a highway while cars whiz past you at 90kph.
- you buy a movie that hasn't been released yet at home.
- you complain about the price differences of DVDs/VCDs/CDs bought in the stores and those sold on the streets.
- you point out foreigners to your Chinese friends.
- you burp, fart, and scratch so much even your Chinese friends get embarrassed.
- you eat cake with chopsticks.
- you hold hands with others of the same sex and think nothing of it.
- you avoid touching those of the opposite sex as if they have bird flu.
- you've got a pre-paid ticket with a reserved seat on a train, but you still run like mad to get there first.
- everyone wants to be your friend – all you have to do is teach them English for free.
- your Chinese lessons consist of 50 words your teacher wants to know in English.
- you too think that western men always have ugly Chinese girlfriends.
- the more you listen to the news, the more uninformed you are.
- only five minutes of preparation time for an unannounced class no longer fazes you.
- you go to McDonalds to take a nap
- you think it's perfectly logical to be able to smoke in every place but Pizza Hut, MCDonalds, and KFC

[jasonbvr]

Haha, we can smoke in McDonalds in Japan! Gotcha beat there don't we? Here are the only China ones I have for you right now...

-You know you are getting ripped off on your fake designer jeans unless the 13 year old girl selling them to you is crying and telling you that her family will die of starvation because you are a cheap foreigner.

-No ashtray at your table? No problem, use the floor like the drunk guys next to you.

-You opt to buy beer instead of bottled water because it's cheaper.

-If your taxi driver doesn't make you simultaneously soil your pants and pray to every god you know, he is driving too slow and needlessly concerned with your safety and the other drivers on the road.

-You complain when you can not taste the MSG in your food.

-Chivas and tea is your first choice when 11% beer is not strong enough anymore.

-When discussing the day's weather, the term smoky is used frequently and considered to be a technical meteorological term.

-In major cities you use different McDonalds as reference points and wonder why they didn't put them on your tourist map.

-Plans for the weekend usually include getting out of the city at least once so you can breathe a little fresh air.

-You have exchanged pirated DVD's the day after purchasing them due to poor quality.

-You curse the jackass that keeps on walking in front of the screen or won't stop laughing in a theater somewhere in the States where your DVD was made from some guy smuggling a camcorder and a tripod into the theater.

-You secretly visit the import store and stash Doritos and Dr. Pepper in your room to hide them from your roommates as though you were trying to hide crack from the police.

[Pachipro]

Excellent post Lilongyue and I had to smile at some of the similarities and laugh at the differences like "thinking about which snake you want cooked for your meal."

[jasonbvr]

Originally Posted by Pachipro

Excellent post Lilongyue and I had to smile at some of the similarities and laugh at the differences like "thinking about which snake you want cooked for your meal."

Yeah, and the old ladies selling turtles in the street aren't exactly running a pet shop. Mmmm, turtle soup...

[ShibaInu]

Ni hao to u, Lilongyue...Welcome to JF...i'm also here in Hangzhou, same as u are...

[Lilongyue]

Originally Posted by jasonbvr

Yeah, and the old ladies selling turtles in the street aren't exactly running a pet shop. Mmmm, turtle soup...

Sounds like you've been to China. Did you live here? Would love to hear a comparsion by someone who's lived in both countries.

It's a bit of a dream to spend some time in Japan. I'm not much of a tourist, I'd much rather live in a country for 6+ months to really get a feeling, but alas no 4 year degree, so no work. When I finish studying Chinese I'll be in a good position to get work, but my university doesn't issue degrees in Chinese language. You just get a certificate of completion. Not to mention that I don't speak a lick of Japanese!

[jasonbvr]

Beijing zai wo xue Zhongwen le. Now however my Chinese is very poor. I would have taught English there but the pay is not quite the same and I have pesky student loans.

I wrote a partial comparison to Japan and China just a little while ago on the China v. Japan thread you started. But yeah, you could try to teach English here anyways since you have experience teaching and if you gave them the Chinese degree and the US one it would probably just confuse the guy at the visa office. Don't know, but it may be worth a shot.