How do you make a failure into a Japanese resident?
 

Ok, hello everyone. I am a 19 year old American, born and raised in Texas, and I would like to live in Japan. I'm not from a rich family, nor am I a child prodigy with brilliantly stunning intellect. Every since I was a young child, I've always dreamt of living in Japan. This was before I knew about anime and manga, and other weeaboo related things. This was a child's dream. My father never cared that I loved Japan, and all my requests to study abroad were shot down without a second glance. Years later, I grow up. I start dealing with life, and American scholls, and drama and whatnot. My and my father get in a fight and I get kicked out of the house. This was during school, and I was unable to go because I was too busy wandering around searching for food and other survival necessities. Another family member takes me in, and I manage to make contact with my mother, and she invites me to stay with her. So I go withdraw, and I pack and get sent up to Missouri with pretty much nothing. I get there, and two days later, me and my mom get in a fight. This is before we were planning to go get me registered at a school up there somewhere. Turns out my mom was still doing hard drugs, so I couldn't stay there. The story continues with me back in Texas, my father pities me and takes me back in. I attempt to get my diploma at a juvenille deliquent school, because on the books it states that I dropped out, which in fact, I did not. About two weeks in, a ton of drama goes down, and I get blamed for it, and *drumroll*, I get kicked out. The chances of me getting a diploma now, are slim-to-none. I don't know why I'm telling my life story to random internet strangers. Anyways, my questions here are; 1)Would it be possible to get into the JET Programme, or something similar with a GED? 2)What sort of classes do I need to take in college or whatever, to become an english teacher in Japan (or any other jobs in Japan, but I think I'd have to settle for English Teaching.)? 3)What are my chances of having a childhood dream come true? Thanks for reading, I guess. Pardon the rambling, it's 1:23 AM here.

Not to tread on your dreams mate, but your chances of living here legally are zero.
In order to live here you need a degree (99.9% of the time), and to have a degree you need a high school diploma or equivalent. It doesn't matter what your degree is in to become a teacher here, but it's what you need to live here.

To be honest, you seem like you've had some really rough patches in your life, and the most responsible thing you can do right now is get back on track for your own sake, rather than with the hope of coming to Japan. If in a few years you end up getting a degree and are eligible to come over here, then that's great, but right now that should be the least of your priorities. Figure out how to get some sort of diploma first. Then figure out how to get a degree (anyone can go to college, there's all kinds of financial aid and other benefits for students, and you can get in with a GED). This is all for your own good. It's hard enough to survive in America without any sort of diploma or degree, let alone trying to move to Japan.

If after all of that you think you're ready to come over to Japan, then go for it.

I'm confused. You say the possibility of me living there legally is null, but then you contradict that in the next paragraph. What do you mean 'it doesn't matter what my degree is'? There's no minimal requirement of something specific? Maybe a list of classes I should take, or whatever. I don't really know how college works, but I'm sure there's more to it than that.

I didn't contradict myself. I mean that you could get a degree as a PE coach, a doctor, an engineer, basket weaving or literally anything else. Being a part of the Jet Programme or becoming a conversational English teacher at an Eikaiwa with almost any type of four year bachelor's degree is possible.

You see, most of these institutions aren't actually "teaching" (although the Jet Programme has at least some standards), and most of the people working in Japan aren't "teachers." They're people like yourself who are just looking for a ticket over to Japan no matter what the work is. So they'll hire you to stand up and teach conversational English to little kids and housewives for 9 hours a day.

There's really nothing more to it than that. In the event that you do wish to get any kind of actual teaching certifications, they may give you a type of pay raise or you may start off with other small benefits, but you'll be working right along side the next guy who has no actual teaching qualifications.

1)Would it be possible to get into the JET Programme, or something similar with a GED?

Just a GED? No. You need a BA or a BS... a four-year degree.

2)What sort of classes do I need to take in college or whatever, to become an english teacher in Japan (or any other jobs in Japan, but I think I'd have to settle for English Teaching.)?

It doesn't really matter as long as you graduate and are a native speaker of English. Some Japanese language, culture, literature, etc. wouldn't hurt, though.

3)What are my chances of having a childhood dream come true?

It's completely up to you. Get your s**t together, graduate, go to college, graduate, and you have a solid shot.

So, what should I take in college then? And it needs to be four years? I can't do any 2 year courses?

This is true.

Wings, I don't think you are doing the work, so I don't think you are qualified to say this. I will say every school and institution is a different story, and while there are some people there just to be there, there are enough people that actually want to do the work and teach English that people that just want to putz around are getting more and more filtered out. "Little kids" and "housewives" are two targets, but hardly the main.

You need a four year degree.

You know, I get this kind of answer a lot whenever I'm asked my opinion on the topic, but I don't really know why. I mean, logically, it totally makes sense. First off, it's impossible not to generalize. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of great teachers out there. But the fact of the matter is, we're all in this country because of JAPAN.

Think about it. Why am I here? Because I decided I'd like to give Japan a shot and working on my degree at the same time is a bonus. Could I pay half as much and go to the local state school back home? Yeah, sure. But the reason I'm here rather than there is the fact that I get to live in Japan.

The same thing goes for the teachers here. If they really wanted to be teachers, they'd be teachers. They'd go get a legitimate teaching degree and work their way up the ladder of their local public school, get tenured, and hopefully even teach some university classes some day.
But most of the teachers in Japan aren't like that. They're here for Japan first, teaching second. Here, they don't need a master's degree for a more respectable position. Here, they get to work a flexible schedule and party in Tokyo or Osaka on the weekends. If any idiot can push through a few years of college and get a degree, they're automatically eligible to come party in J-land. If they fall in love with their job after getting here, great. But the truth is they fell in love with the idea of the country first.

That's my point.

When people ask me about physics, religion, politics, my opinion gets second fiddle because these aren't the topics I am an expert in.

Not every foreigner in Japan is in Japan because of JAPAN! That's reality. I knew many people who were looking at teaching English anywhere in Asia, and Japan is where they ended up. To them, Asia was pretty much all the same, so it didn't matter. For me, it was Japan or nowhere (I didn't study four years of Japanese to be sent to Taiwan).

That is your story, and I am not disparaging it, but it is your story, not everyone's story.

Sorry, Wings, but that is so elitist and condescending. Indeed I came to Japan to be in Japan, but also to see if I liked teaching, and the JET Program gave me that opportunity. Being a JET is an assistant teacher, but it is still teaching.

After returning to America I eventually went into teaching again, (this time Japanese for English speakers). It is hard to know if that is your calling unless you get a chance to try it out. Some hate it, some love it. I am glad I was given the opportunity to explore it.

It's pretty competitive to get into JET. When I applied from my city the acceptance rate was like 20%... and now it is less than half that. Sure douches get through the grate, but those are the guys you are going to meet in Osaka and Tokyo late at night. The normal people are at home and in bed.