Why do they come to me to talk about their problems???

tangomike · (#1 (**permalink**))

I don't live in Japan mind you, but I do go there every few years for a few months at a time. I even plan to live in Japan for a few years in the future if I could....

but everytime I'm there the Japanese people I befriend seem to treat me, the gaijin of Japanese ancestry, as a therapist/problem dumpster. I even had a guy come out of the closet to me (he wasnt into me though, thankfully).

why is this? I thought Japanese were very private people who don't talk about their problems except to their spouses or parents...or somebody or that sort....not some gaijin who theyve only known for 2 months

MMM · (#2 (**permalink**))

Wait, I thought you were in Japan right now with your girlfriend.

tangomike · (#3 (**permalink**))

we just came back from a visit to Japan

MMM · (#4 (**permalink**))

But you are a student at UofO, and school is still in session for another week. Did you take spring quarter off?

spicytuna · (#5 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by tangomike

why is this? I thought Japanese were very private people who don't talk about their problems except to their spouses or parents...or somebody or that sort....not some gaijin who theyve only known for 2 months

Maybe they see you as special for coming out of the Jukai alive.

tangomike · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

But you are a student at UofO, and school is still in session for another week. Did you take spring quarter off?

School ends this week for people with Finals.

I took philosophy ethics which had a paper in lieu of a final exam, sociology has 3 mid terms and no finals and psychology mind and brains final was online.

MMM · (#7 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by tangomike

School ends this week for people with Finals.

I took philosophy ethics which had a paper in lieu of a final exam, sociology has 3 mid terms and no finals and psychology mind and brains final was online.

And your girlfriend was able to take off in the middle of a term and go to Japan, too? Didn't you say you go for months at a time?

Anyway, to answer your question, it is possible because you do not live in Japan people feel like they can "confess" to you with less fear of things getting spread around. Also, they might feel like Americans have a more open minded attitude, as the US is known for being a land of freedom in Japan.

In Japan privacy is a seen very differently than in the US. For example, people walk around naked in public baths with no problem, something that many Americans I know would never be able to do. People respect each other's privacy in a different way in Japan, as it is at such a premium. It seems like there is less judging those that make questionable choices, as people would not like to be judged themselves.