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OHayou (Offline)
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Posts: 128
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ohio
07-26-2011, 10:43 PM

Yeah, you're screwed. lol

I like your plan though...get sponsored by parents and play Mr. Mom while parents are right around the corner to help buy items, cook food, and take care of the baby. I'm assuming you are moving there because they want to see their daughter and miss the grand baby? (If not, move to a neighboring Asian country where it might be easier to find work but also might cut down on traveling expenses so you can visit more?)

Realistically, the parents probably understand where you are in life and how hard it is to find a job in Japan. They probably have accepted you will take care of the baby while the wife works. You already said she was going first to find a job.

Hey ...why do you want to work anyway!?

Women want equality and it would be rude to stop your wife from working while you take on the hardship of raising your child by watching a lot of Japanese television to help make both of you fluent.

Last edited by OHayou : 07-26-2011 at 10:46 PM.
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jamie2088 (Offline)
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Join Date: Jul 2011
09-03-2011, 09:56 PM

Hi people,

Just a little update on my moving to japan situation,well it's definately happening this november for half my family with me following 5-6 months later.We've started selling our lives in uk and preparing everything,which is really hard actually.

Im currently taking an i-to-i TEFL course online with a 2 day weekend in october included,part of the course also includes 4 specialist certificates in young learners,business english,audio and visual,and one to one teaching so hopefully if i pass all this it will give me something to go with.
Spent alot of time looking at stuff in japan in terms of day to day living like post office,rubbish collection etc.Need to make sure i understand visa stuff too lol thats why wife is going first to establish herself with job and apartment.Its massively exciting although i still have days where i realise im actually emmigrating.

Well i will keep you updated as my situation is probably a ,little different to most who have to get uni degrees etc for visa or proper jobs.My 3 week holiday in november is going to be cool as i will be trating it as imm ,iving there for 3 weeks

really not looking forward to saying goodbye to wife and 3 yr old son at airport....going to be lonely xmas

Thanks for your time.
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stache (Offline)
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco
09-19-2011, 06:11 AM

I thought I would chime in here and give you some real life experiences as I am going through them right now. I am an older guy late 50’s and just retired so I have an income to depend on, however the exchange rate is a killer.

I started planning about 5-years ago to move back to Japan with my Japanese wife. We have been married over 35 years so under the new vise system that is soon to change here is what we did. First, we made several trips to locate a house to purchase, NO NOT rent. Renting is a killer and drains money every month. We looked for a few years and found the location we wanted then went looking for a house. The house we found was by word of mouth, we tried the real estate companies, but they were unreliable at best.

We purchased the house and had toki performed, that is when you find out if it has a clear title and what your taxes are really going to be. Make sure you find a house close to a train station within walking distance this is a must. Ours is 6K not good as we have found out.

We shipped our household effects with no problems, but my wife had to show an airline ticket for the customs people. The Japanese movers did all the paperwork for us and it went just like clock work. I would highly recommend a Japanese mover and let your Japanese wife handle it.

By having my wife return and set up residency again (paying taxes, health insurance, etc.) when I came seven months later we went to Sendai and with my passport, wife’s family records, bank account records, my pictures, and an essay how we met and married. I came over on a 90-day tourist visa. It took us about an hour to process the paperwork and returned 3-days later and pickup my passport with my new 3-year visa. I was surprised how quickly it worked, but having everyone leave because of the Great Western Earthquake played into it (no waiting). The people at immigration were very helpful just make sure you have all your documents ready. I also made a copy of my entire passport in color and gave it to them. They checked every visit I made to Japan. If you have old passports hold on to them they will want to see them as well. Having old passports will help you remember each visit to Japan on your essay.

I am not am English teacher, but most Japanese think I am. Where I live there is only a couple of foreigners, but we keep to our selves. My wife is my best friend so plan on that as well. I attend every Japanese function in our community and support the local causes one has to fit in even if we stand out. I just finished the flag raising and taking down this morning each group has one in the small towns like where I live. As head of the house I am expected to show up and help in community programs. Actually I like doing it and gives me time to meet the neighbors and gives them a chance to talk with me and drink a little beer okay a lot of beer.

Jobs are hard to come by, but there are plenty if you don’t mind doing some. Most will require driving. So coming form the UK it will be easy for you to get a Japanese license. I am American and just went through the driving process, failed the driving test twice and passed on the third try. It’s not a big deal it’s just a process everything is a process here. There are several types of driver license car, trucks, bus, equipment, and etc. I am getting additional license with these in hand it will help your job search. Where I live they are lots of positions for earth moving equipment and truck drivers, but you have to start somewhere. As I mentioned I am retired so I don’t need to work, but I have my own aviation business on the side in Tokyo and commute when I have to.

One thing you will I have learned just accept you will not have many friends, for me that was not a problem. If you miss your home country that could be a problem long term for me this was not a problem. However after you arrive for the first few weeks it will be all fun then reality will settle in, what the hell did I do. At least I went through that then I got upset at myself. I started having doubts about myself and if this was the right thing to do. This is when my best friend (wife) helped me explaining all the planning, saving, trips, and etc. Well it is working out now, but you have to be self confident in yourself.

I took Japanese in college and never kept it up and now when I really need it I am having problems because I don’t speak well enough. I have taken to learning Japanese all over again at home. I purchased a grease board to practice kanji and writing GREAT tool. The wife uses it as well to explain things to me or write a kanji word I don’t understand. Being older it is harder for me to learn, but I am determine to learn Japanese. After a couple of beers we all talk better, but you have to learn some kanji like your address and several other useful words on the ATM machines at the bank.

This is my input, but you will have to make it on your own when you do arrive.

I have my own web site as well at Welcome to StacheAir

Stache
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jamie2088 (Offline)
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Join Date: Jul 2011
09-28-2011, 08:49 PM

Thanks stache for your reply it does help to give some insight into life and what to expect.Obviously your situation is a little different to mine but i am as aware as i can be of the things you pointed out,especially being lonely without friends but i don't really have any in uk lol.I wish we could buy a house,my wifes father bought one recently approx £30k i believe and its nice just outside tokyo,i wish we could be in that position but we will only have 5-6k saved on top of earnings there :S I have considered sort of volunteering for something while looking for work but im not sure what sort of community activities there are?

How was it in terms of the racism? i have heard it can be an issue even if it isn't meant harmfully.I might struggle to fit in more as well as i dont drink or smoke but i also don't do fashion at all lol its going to be tough to find anyone like me

The visa situation was quite strange i dont know if we will do it like that but i will look more into the options,i can't believe how straight forward it was to get one for yourself.S0unds like the key here is you are enjoying it and trying hard to fit in,i have to follow examples like these deffo
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bekhiet (Offline)
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Join Date: Sep 2011
09-28-2011, 09:20 PM

Did your wife already leave with your son? Becareful with that because Japan has yet to agree with the Hague convention and the there are no laws to protect a child if a mother wants to keep the child from the father. Although many non-japanese fathers do not see any problems in their realtionships, a lot of Japanese mothers get family presure to return to japan with the child(ren). The Japanese also do not have any family laws and there is no visitation for fathers. I am not saying that your wife will do this but I have seen what seemed like perfectly happy couples end up in this situation. The Japanese moms always try to get the fathers to let them go visit Japan with the kids and have other motives in mind. Your wife and children could be gone very easily with nothing to protect you once she is back in Japan. Just proceed with caution.
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