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HokurikuYome3 (Offline)
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I have some experience with this! - 01-25-2014, 08:56 AM

I'm not complaining because it's not something that bothers me or keeps me up at night because I'm pretty happy with my life here.

As far as sexism I've seen it both ways!

When it comes to doing business and I'm with my husband the person we are working with be it a banker, agent, or broker etc. He/She will address my husband and make eye contact with him exclusively even when I address him/her directly with a question etc. That can be annoying but it's not the end of the world. I'm satisfied so long as things are getting done and everything was done correctly.

When I was working as a teacher for a short time I was told by the person who hired me over a Yuzu Sour and Sashimi at an Izakaya that they only want to hire women in their company because "Foreign Men like to come to Japan to sleep with Japanese girls!" so they can't be trusted. I felt very bad because I thought back to the day I was interviewed. I met one of the other candidates who was Male. He seemed ok at the time. He told me that he was married and had 2 small kids that he was taking care of as an at-home-dad but his wife gave him an ultimatum that unless he got a job they would be getting a divorce (that's a lot of info I know but he seemed pretty sincere at the time, he must have been under a lot of stress). It ended up being a pretty shady company so I only worked there for a few months before I left that job for another one. They had unreasonable requirements on their employees that extended to their private lives outside of the workplace and that was not ok with me.

Also when our first baby was born a few months ago, I got a little annoyed with the sexism and stereotypes thrust upon my husband where birth and childcare were concerned. The OBGYN, midwife, nurses, and hospital staff were nice but they made a lot of assumptions about the level of involvement my husband wanted in the birthing process. He wanted to be all in and see everything and participate as much as he could short of pushing the baby out himself. But it was a little bit of fight for him because they would assume he wouldn't be interested so they kept pushing him out of the way and "encouraging" him to wait in the waiting room. I ended up with an emergency C-Section and their policy is that no non-medical staff can be in the room during the procedure. But I cried and said I was too afraid and begged them "夫が居ないと怖い過ぎますよ!耐えられませんよ!私 側に居させて下さいよ!(If he's not here I'm too afraid! I won't be able to bear it! Please let him be with me!" and started shaking so they felt bad and let my husband stand in the room and watch as our daughter was born. Two very sweet nurses sat beside my head and held my hands to comfort me during the procedure but I really wanted my husband to be the one to hold my hand.

But overall life here is good! You can find sexism, racism, and all kinds of unfairness and inequality if you look hard enough for it. But I would recommend focusing on the positive. If you find a shop that doesn't like foreigners don't shop there! They are only hurting their own business. If you find a company that is discriminating against you for any reason. Find another company! Don't waste your time and energy on toxic places and people.

Japan's not perfect, it's just like any other 1st world country. But it's a pretty great place to live with so many nice things to offer!

Last edited by HokurikuYome3 : 01-25-2014 at 08:59 AM. Reason: spelling
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