Anyone want to show off song-writing or poetry?

[Kajitsu]

What do you think of this?


So Give Me a Black Rose

はるみ すみこ

You hurt me so badly
I'll never forget
I wondered what happened
I think I will never know
You sing me your sweet song
And drag me away
Sneak into the darkness
To where you left me
So give me a black rose
The symbol of death
Wish I was never here
Because I no longer care
My heart has been shattered
You left it that way
Wounded and torn apart
As if there was
No other answer
I know what a friend is
It's no longer you
I miss when I liked how
Your kindness was with me
But I do not
Want it anymore
If ever you want me
I reject your request
You say to me why you
Were not there when
I needed you the most
And maybe I forgive you
But most likely not
For I do not want your
Deception and lies


I will add more to it later

[Kajitsu]

No one? Can someone else at least read it? No one even wants to say anything irrelevant?

[Inuka23]

thats so coool!! ur good im never did something like that but im sur i'd suck ^_^;

[InuSan]

Originally Posted by Kajitsu

What do you think of this?


So Give Me a Black Rose

はるみ すみこ

You hurt me so badly
I'll never forget
I wondered what happened
I think I will never know
You sing me your sweet song
And drag me away
Sneak into the darkness
To where you left me
So give me a black rose
The symbol of death
Wish I was never here
Because I no longer care
My heart has been shattered
You left it that way
Wounded and torn apart
As if there was
No other answer
I know what a friend is
It's no longer you
I miss when I liked how
Your kindness was with me
But I do not
Want it anymore
If ever you want me
I reject your request
You say to me why you
Were not there when
I needed you the most
And maybe I forgive you
But most likely not
For I do not want your
Deception and lies


I will add more to it later

thats really good...i wrote a song similar to that...maybe i'll post it
i call it tears of blood...

[InuSan]

Tears of blood
The tears of blood roll down my cheek.
You ripped my heart out of my chest
could you have just left it there?
Why did you have to tear it out?

the drops of blood fall down my chest.
my heart in your hand you ripped it to peices
why don't you shred it up
cant you just throw it away

that hole in my chest
cant you just allow me to bleed to death?
please just leave me here to die but
dont rip my heart to shreds.

the drops of blood fall down my chest.
my heart in your hand
you ripped it to peices why don't you shred it up
cant you just throw it away

the blood falls from my chest
just let me die
lay me in the ground bury my heart with me
the tears stream down my cheek
my heart is on the ground

the drops of blood fall from my chest
my heart was in your hand
why did you shred it up
did you have to throw it away

please give me your heart
allow me to mend this hole
give me your heart i need it so
please dont leave
i dont want to be alone.


tell me what you think

[Kajitsu]

Wow... I like that.

[MitcheruOtaku]

Originally Posted by Kajitsu

No one? Can someone else at least read it? No one even wants to say anything irrelevant?

I'm new here, I think your poetry is awesome!

[MitcheruOtaku]

Originally Posted by InuSan

Tears of blood
The tears of blood roll down my cheek.
You ripped my heart out of my chest
could you have just left it there?
Why did you have to tear it out?

the drops of blood fall down my chest.
my heart in your hand you ripped it to peices
why don't you shred it up
cant you just throw it away

that hole in my chest
cant you just allow me to bleed to death?
please just leave me here to die but
dont rip my heart to shreds.

the drops of blood fall down my chest.
my heart in your hand
you ripped it to peices why don't you shred it up
cant you just throw it away

the blood falls from my chest
just let me die
lay me in the ground bury my heart with me
the tears stream down my cheek
my heart is on the ground

the drops of blood fall from my chest
my heart was in your hand
why did you shred it up
did you have to throw it away

please give me your heart
allow me to mend this hole
give me your heart i need it so
please dont leave
i dont want to be alone.


tell me what you think

WOW! I think some of our best creativity comes from our pain.

[MitcheruOtaku]

Here are a couple of mine:

I saw Your Face

I saw your face
again.
Just a glance at
a photo of you,
And my heart
ached,
so hard and fast.
I had to catch my breath
and look away.
Before tears came.
______________________________

I Saw Red



I saw red once,
in a beautiful
sunset.
In an early morning
sunrise.
in the beautiful
Autumn trees.
I saw red once,
in the color of
a beautiful
woman's hair.
She told me
she loved me,
once.
I will always remember
in my heart,
how beautiful.

by Mitcheru Lee

[InuSan]

Originally Posted by MitcheruOtaku

Here are a couple of mine:

I saw Your Face

I saw your face
again.
Just a glance at
a photo of you,
And my heart
ached,
so hard and fast.
I had to catch my breath
and look away.
Before tears came.
______________________________

I Saw Red



I saw red once,
in a beautiful
sunset.
In an early morning
sunrise.
in the beautiful
Autumn trees.
I saw red once,
in the color of
a beautiful
woman's hair.
She told me
she loved me,
once.
I will always remember
in my heart,
how beautiful.

by Mitcheru Lee

those are good...i love the first one