JapanForum.com  


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
(#1 (permalink))
Old
82riceballs's Avatar
82riceballs (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 181
Join Date: May 2007
Location: taiwan
Talking funny, random poem - 07-11-2007, 02:14 PM

here's a funny, random poem i wrote for school.
i used a real person's name & symptoms, but faked his age and death (for the sake of poetry =)

plz tell me wat u think!

Quote:
Caesar Barbar- who sued McDonald’s and died soon after

This 270-pounder,
only 52 years old,
chose to dine out at McDonald’s
until it knocked him out cold.

It was McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s,
three square meals a day,
at least four times each week,
or even everyday.

Though suffering diabetes,
high cholesterol and BP,
all Mr. Barbar knew
was that “it was killing me.”

It wasn’t until those
two heart attacks,
that the fat man realized that
he should sue bigMacs.

So he sued the fast food giant,
with the support of other fatties.
He sued until he got the money
to pay for even more patties.

And here’s the sad, sad ending
of this obese man’s story:
He died of heart disease
at the age of only 53.

Or maybe you could say that
he died of irresponsibility.
So please don’t copy this man
or you, too, won’t rest in peace.


"ヒサシブリブリダネ。”
   〜〜〜クレヨンしんちゃん
Reply With Quote
(#2 (permalink))
Old
Yggdrazzil's Avatar
Yggdrazzil (Offline)
Gone since 02-08-2007
 
Posts: 227
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Holland
Send a message via MSN to Yggdrazzil
07-11-2007, 02:17 PM

Hahahaha, quite witty. I appreciate the underlying moral of it as well. I agree that it was the mans own lack of responsibility that killed him.


Bye
Reply With Quote
(#3 (permalink))
Old
82riceballs's Avatar
82riceballs (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 181
Join Date: May 2007
Location: taiwan
07-11-2007, 02:29 PM

thanks! i was hoping ppl would like it =)


"ヒサシブリブリダネ。”
   〜〜〜クレヨンしんちゃん
Reply With Quote
(#4 (permalink))
Old
fara7's Avatar
fara7 (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 237
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lebanese living in Kuwait
Send a message via MSN to fara7
07-11-2007, 02:35 PM

Was that the obese guy who once stuck in the door of his room, so he needed firemen to get him out.
Reply With Quote
(#5 (permalink))
Old
82riceballs's Avatar
82riceballs (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 181
Join Date: May 2007
Location: taiwan
07-11-2007, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Was that the obese guy who once stuck in the door of his room, so he needed firemen to get him out.
no, who was the guy who got stuck in the door? (hehehe, u just gave me inspiration for another poem abt obese mac-suing guys )


"ヒサシブリブリダネ。”
   〜〜〜クレヨンしんちゃん
Reply With Quote
(#6 (permalink))
Old
fara7's Avatar
fara7 (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 237
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lebanese living in Kuwait
Send a message via MSN to fara7
07-11-2007, 02:45 PM

O comon write another poem let us hear it
Reply With Quote
(#7 (permalink))
Old
bloodsinger's Avatar
bloodsinger (Offline)
I'm in pieces
 
Posts: 91
Join Date: Jun 2007
Send a message via MSN to bloodsinger
07-11-2007, 03:03 PM

Haha. Love the poem. It was hilarious. Please write another to amuse us.


Riding the waves
Looking up at the sun
Feeling the heat beating down on my back
It makes me feel alive
Even for just that short while
I can see the light
Guiding Me

JFの家族
Sister to Tsuzuki
Reply With Quote
(#8 (permalink))
Old
82riceballs's Avatar
82riceballs (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 181
Join Date: May 2007
Location: taiwan
07-11-2007, 03:54 PM

i have this other poem, but it has a lot more room for improvement. i did them for homework (meaning during science class while the teacher was talking on and on and on), so it's not so great. any suggestions?

Quote:
Writing a Sonnet
Making every two lines rhyme
isn't easy work.
It's such a waste of precious time
that ¡t's driving me berserk!
And even when I use
poetry.com,
there isn't much to choose
e.g. prom, balm, bomb.
At least I only need
five lines more
If I write at superhuman speed,
I'll finish soon for sure.
Now for the closing couplet-
And I'm done with my sonnet!


"ヒサシブリブリダネ。”
   〜〜〜クレヨンしんちゃん
Reply With Quote
(#9 (permalink))
Old
82riceballs's Avatar
82riceballs (Offline)
JF Old Timer
 
Posts: 181
Join Date: May 2007
Location: taiwan
07-11-2007, 03:59 PM

i'll try to redeem myself w/ the next one:

Quote:
Ode to State Quarters
I used to collect
shiny state quarters, until
the ice cream truck came.
(don't worry, this haiku's not true =)


"ヒサシブリブリダネ。”
   〜〜〜クレヨンしんちゃん
Reply With Quote
(#10 (permalink))
Old
bloodsinger's Avatar
bloodsinger (Offline)
I'm in pieces
 
Posts: 91
Join Date: Jun 2007
Send a message via MSN to bloodsinger
09-07-2007, 02:09 AM

I think I preferred the previous one. Haha. It was really not bad.


Riding the waves
Looking up at the sun
Feeling the heat beating down on my back
It makes me feel alive
Even for just that short while
I can see the light
Guiding Me

JFの家族
Sister to Tsuzuki
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




Copyright 2003-2006 Virtual Japan.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6