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82riceballs 07-11-2007 02:14 PM

funny, random poem
 
here's a funny, random poem i wrote for school.
i used a real person's name & symptoms, but faked his age and death (for the sake of poetry =)

plz tell me wat u think! :)

Quote:

Caesar Barbar- who sued McDonald’s and died soon after

This 270-pounder,
only 52 years old,
chose to dine out at McDonald’s
until it knocked him out cold.

It was McDonald’s, McDonald’s, McDonald’s,
three square meals a day,
at least four times each week,
or even everyday.

Though suffering diabetes,
high cholesterol and BP,
all Mr. Barbar knew
was that “it was killing me.”

It wasn’t until those
two heart attacks,
that the fat man realized that
he should sue bigMacs.

So he sued the fast food giant,
with the support of other fatties.
He sued until he got the money
to pay for even more patties.

And here’s the sad, sad ending
of this obese man’s story:
He died of heart disease
at the age of only 53.

Or maybe you could say that
he died of irresponsibility.
So please don’t copy this man
or you, too, won’t rest in peace.

Yggdrazzil 07-11-2007 02:17 PM

Hahahaha, quite witty. I appreciate the underlying moral of it as well. I agree that it was the mans own lack of responsibility that killed him.

82riceballs 07-11-2007 02:29 PM

thanks! i was hoping ppl would like it =)

fara7 07-11-2007 02:35 PM

Was that the obese guy who once stuck in the door of his room, so he needed firemen to get him out.

82riceballs 07-11-2007 02:39 PM

Quote:

Was that the obese guy who once stuck in the door of his room, so he needed firemen to get him out.
no, who was the guy who got stuck in the door? (hehehe, u just gave me inspiration for another poem abt obese mac-suing guys :D )

fara7 07-11-2007 02:45 PM

O comon write another poem let us hear it :)

bloodsinger 07-11-2007 03:03 PM

Haha. Love the poem. It was hilarious. Please write another to amuse us.

82riceballs 07-11-2007 03:54 PM

i have this other poem, but it has a lot more room for improvement. i did them for homework (meaning during science class while the teacher was talking on and on and on), so it's not so great. any suggestions?

Quote:

Writing a Sonnet
Making every two lines rhyme
isn't easy work.
It's such a waste of precious time
that ¡t's driving me berserk!
And even when I use
poetry.com,
there isn't much to choose
e.g. prom, balm, bomb.
At least I only need
five lines more
If I write at superhuman speed,
I'll finish soon for sure.
Now for the closing couplet-
And I'm done with my sonnet!
:o

82riceballs 07-11-2007 03:59 PM

i'll try to redeem myself w/ the next one:

Quote:

Ode to State Quarters
I used to collect
shiny state quarters, until
the ice cream truck came.
(don't worry, this haiku's not true =)

bloodsinger 09-07-2007 02:09 AM

I think I preferred the previous one. Haha. It was really not bad.


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