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My Lyrics. - 07-14-2007, 01:35 AM

Soooo, tonight I tried writing lyrics again. And yeah, not done too much since I've been busy;

Anyways, the title was inspired by Head First For Halo's (I'll probably change it though.)

Thanks for anything who reads and comments =)

___________________________________

Fragments Of This Skull Falls On Your Tongue Like Pixie Dust.



Put this trigger to your mouth.
And thank fuck this gun ain't loaded.

From the back of your head split against my walls.
Of this I'm done.

You couldn't hold back your anger.
Your tales of lies and deciet over came you.
As you knew it would.
You always knew it would.

Chorus.

Oh baby, you're not Juliet.
And I'm sure as hell not your Romeo.
You can blow this off.
Since it's the only way you know how.

Clean my stained clothes of this.
I'm done.

Verse

With this alcohol I'm taking.
These smiles I'm faking.

Since theres dirt beneath the sheets.
And desease against my fingers.
And you know how...

Oh beautiful, this over came you.
Your promises are so clitched.
Never again.

Chorus.

Oh baby, you're not Juliet.
And I'm sure as hell not your Romeo.
You can blow this off.
Since it's the only way you know how.

Clean my stained clothes of this.
I'm done.




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07-14-2007, 03:11 AM

wow those lyrics are very deep
theyr very nice i lyk them


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07-14-2007, 04:21 AM

wow they're awesome!!


sure has been a while...
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07-14-2007, 12:24 PM

Thanks guys =3




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07-14-2007, 04:32 PM

Ohnice! <3 Weldunes : D A few minor spelling mistakes but they're going to be listening to them not reading them anyways : D

Just a suggestion - You could kind of repeat the
"As you knew it would.
You always knew it would."
Bit again just before the 2nd chorus? And turn it into a kind of eh semi-chorus/refrain thingymabob? (Can't remember the proper term for it) Or will that sound too cliched? (Pardon the pun XD)

I like it the way it is either way though : D


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07-14-2007, 04:39 PM

Lmao, yeah, I should've proof read it ~ Deciet > Deceit.

Yeah, I see what you're catching on too. I kinda like that idea.

I didn't really like the "never again" bit anyways. So I might change that too "As you knew it would. You always knew it would."

Thanks =)




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07-14-2007, 04:42 PM

: D

No probz!

Can't believe someone is actually taking any of my advice, haha.

Must go pack now though.

Guid luck with your lyrics/song : D


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07-14-2007, 04:48 PM

Thanks. And I altered two verses with your help =)


__________________
I changed the "would" to "should"

You couldn't hold back your anger.
Your tales of lies and deciet over came you.
As you knew it should.
You always knew it should.



And changed the "never again" to the "As you know it would. You always knew it would"

Oh beautiful, this over came you.
Your promises are so clitched.
As you knew it would.
You always knew it would.


_________

And I prefer it so thanks!




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07-15-2007, 09:44 PM

: D

Love iiiiitt! <3~x

Btw - are you going to turn it into a song or do you just like writing lyrics?


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07-15-2007, 10:06 PM

I like it. ^__^v
I write lyrics myself and somehow it makes you very critical. But yours I like. I would personally have done some changes, but it's your way of writing and it sure appeals to me.
The 'chorus' parts are missing, aren't they?


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