Japanese raising

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

There's more reason to that then what im letting on. Ever since 5th grade when I found out my teacher adopted an asian child, I was intrigue. I asked her why and she told my why she did. So maybe going to the sperm bank is selfishness, but what about the gay people who do it? I am Bi, so that does not mean me and my boyfriend will stay togather forever. If I end up with a woman and I feel like I want to get married to her, then we want kids we will go to the sperm bank. Just because I want to add to my kids culture does not mean, im doing something wrong. If you feel that way, then pretty much everyone on this forum is wrong, everyone is basically here to learn or become more Japanese like.

No, there isn`t more to this than you`re letting on. The new information doesn`t change anything. Maybe your teacher did adopt an Asian child. I`m willing to bet anything that her reasons were far from selfish. I am willing to guess that she adopted a child because she either wanted to have children but was unable to or wanted to help a child in need. And that her choice was an Asian child because there were/are many abandoned children in need in some Asian countries. NOT because she wanted a cute little (I`m guessing Chinese) Asian baby. It doesn`t work that way.
As for going to the sperm bank - you were still saying you were going to limit it to a Japanese baby. That is indeed selfish. Homosexual couples who go to a sperm bank do so in order to HAVE a baby - not because they want to pick and choose nationalities and races. They do so because they aren`t able to have biological children without assistance. You act as if this is a shopping trip - just pick up the type of kid you want and that be the end of it.

If you want to add to your child`s culture, add to it . Don`t go picking some race for them to be because you think it would be "cool". You can incorporate ANY culture into your life. Culture is NOT RACE.

No matter what sort of explanation or excuse you drum up, wanting a "Japanese" baby is going to end up as selfish.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

That's your opinion. I see nothing wrong with fusing your favorite culture with something you love. Every parent pretty much lives through there children. So if I can't do it, I will want my children to be able to do it. If I can not visit Japan, then they will, if I can not learn Japanese then I would like them to learn. So when im old they can tell me all about that. If I wanted an accessory, then I would just sleep with anyone to get what I want.

I have known a couple people that were adopted from Asian countries, and maybe it's a defense mechanism, but the last thing they were interested in was China and Korea (thier birth countries).

Cutures aren't accessories, they are ways of life. I just can't understand the thinking of using your child as a gateway to Japanese culture.

If you want to go to Japan, go to Japan. I am not sure why a baby has to be made to satisfy this curiousity.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

That's your opinion. I see nothing wrong with fusing your favorite culture with something you love. Every parent pretty much lives through there children. So if I can't do it, I will want my children to be able to do it. If I can not visit Japan, then they will, if I can not learn Japanese then I would like them to learn. So when im old they can tell me all about that. If I wanted an accessory, then I would just sleep with anyone to get what I want.

I have come to think that you`re probably just too young to understand how incredibly near sighted and selfish that way of thinking is.

If you like Japanese culture, then incorporate it into your lifestyle. No one will EVER complain about that. However, you`re taking it a step too far and equating race with culture. It doesn`t matter a bit what race your child is. They`re going to grow up how you raise them. Japanese blood does not give you magical powers.

If you want them to grow up and go to Japan, then SEND THEM! They don`t have to be Japanese to do this. No one is saying anything bad about your desire to incorporate Japanese culture into your child`s life. They`re complaining because you aren`t talking about culture - you`re talking about race, as if it gives special abilities. It doesn`t. If you are unhappy enough with your own race that you want to "live through your children" and escape from it, then you really need to get past that before you even THINK about having a child via any means.

[westcoastcracker]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

Yeah this is wierd.

You don't want a child, you want an accessory. Buy a new belt or a pair of shoes and get over it.

I agree...

[Retrogamer77]

I was reading through this post and felt as if I had to comment on this.

I don't know how you can't understand this, but what you're suggesting is extremely selfish. I am also an African American female. While I am young, 17, I know that in the future when I am mentally/physically/financially stable enough that I would like to adopt children. Never once has it crossed my mind that I only wanted a child from a certain race. Choosing a child simply because you like it's race is selfish and downright unfair to the child. If you really want to adopt a child, why not China? Why not Africa or Russia? These countries have so many children in need of a loving family and many of the people in their countries cannot give it to them. If you are so in love with the Japanese country then you would do right to respect it. If you had a Japanese child that you wanted to introduce to the Japanese culture and say, a Hispanic child that you introduce to the Japanese culture, what is the difference? You need to realize that unless you plan to haul your ass to Japan and live there, your child will grow up in the American culture regardless. I hope for the child's sake that you really rethink your decision.

[Kal3ido]

Well this has been a goal of mine since I was in fifth grade. Personally your opinions are meaningless to me. Once I set of to do it, I am. I see nothing wrong with it at all, just as if I was going to have a black and white baby. I dont know, half of you people must of been living under a rock for the last five years, but people DO things like this! If they dont like something from there race/culture, they will try and elimate it. A lot of people believe that's it is in there blood, why people act the way they do. That's all im doing. So what I want to adopt a Japanese kid, that will not make me a bad mother. And yes, Gay couple want children, but I know a couple that didn't even pick the same race as them when they went to the sperm bank, and there living a good life. "I like the black and white culture, so I wanted my daughter to be accepted by both." That's what she told me. I understood what she ment. I want the same thing. And as for me being selfish, why can't I? If you dont understand and dont want to help me, then topic closed for discussion. I didn't start this topic to be ridcule by the masses.

[SSJup81]

I'm an African American female myself. I want to adopt someday too, but as another poster mentioned, a race preference never once came to mind. I just want to give a child a nice home who needs it. A child who is a different race than I would be nice, though, I'll admit, since I do like the idea of different cultures connecting, but I still wouldn't care about the race in question. I've wanted to adopt since I was at least 12. I always said back then, "When I grow up, I want to adopt children since children need homes too."

I think the only way I'd adopt a Japanese child specifically, is if I became a permanent resident of Japan, if it turned out I enjoyed living there or something, have my own place and make a decent salary. You know, convenience since I'd already be there.

If you're anxious to adopt a Japanese child, why not try to find a way to embrace the culture. You know, live there for a while, learn a bit about the culture, learn some of the language and mannerisms associated with the Japanese so that you can share that with the child in question. Or better yet, since you really want the child to know of his/her Japanese heritage and background, it'd probably work best if you lived there to obtain that.

[Kal3ido]

Thank-you, I was thinking that to, or sending the child over there for a while to learn a bit more about it's hertiage. Since Im not Japanese I can't give the child the proper teaching, the only thing I can do is give the child my american ways, which I do not want to do. I want the child to know that both cultures/races are wonderful and to imprint that into there lives. Im just thinking this will be easier the way for them to be accepted.

[SSJup81]

Now this I don't fully agree with since I believe in parent/child bonding. I couldn't imagine having a child, and then sending him/her off to his/her home country by his/herself. Where would the child stay? Who would the child live with?

It'd probably be beneficial for both the child and the parent if the parent lived in the home country of the child since the parent feels it's important for the child to learn of her heritage and culture. That way, the parent can learn as well.

The child can learn, but it's important that the parent can be able to implement some knowledge as well. I don't think it's right that you have the child learning about his/her heritage, but the parent not learning about it right along side with him/her.

If living in the states, you could always put your child in a class or get lessons to learn Japanese language and culture, and you can learn alongside with him/her. You could even plan to take a trip to Japan every year, since you obviously don't seem to want to live there.

[Kal3ido]

Yes, I agree. I have a friend that lives in Osaka that I known since childhood and she has agreed, if this is what i want, to take Him/Her for a couple years. I feel also that I need to educate myself on these matters.