LinkBack Thread Tools
(#71 (permalink))
Ameerah (Offline)
New to JF
Posts: 7
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Essex
01-18-2009, 12:16 PM

This is one of the most ignorant post i've read in my life. Do people think children are toys? I don't know what kind of fantasy this person has, but she need to come back to reality.

I understand loving Japanese culture, but going to this extent? That's madness. You need to reconsider your plans.

To the comment about mixed race children. I'm mixed Nigerian/German and i'm proud of both races. It depends on how you are brought up and how much effort the parents are willing to put in. I want to adopt sometime in the future, and the child I get, no matter the race or culture, i'll make sure they know their heritage.
Reply With Quote
(#72 (permalink))
sdbri (Offline)
New to JF
Posts: 26
Join Date: Feb 2009
02-22-2009, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by Kal3ido View Post
There's more reason to that then what im letting on. Ever since 5th grade when I found out my teacher adopted an asian child, I was intrigue. I asked her why and she told my why she did. So maybe going to the sperm bank is selfishness, but what about the gay people who do it? I am Bi, so that does not mean me and my boyfriend will stay togather forever. If I end up with a woman and I feel like I want to get married to her, then we want kids we will go to the sperm bank. Just because I want to add to my kids culture does not mean, im doing something wrong. If you feel that way, then pretty much everyone on this forum is wrong, everyone is basically here to learn or become more Japanese like.
There's nothing wrong with adopting a child who happens to be asian no matter who you are, but you're going to have to think it through more. It does sound like you're fixated on adopting an asian child and giving them a culture you aren't well familiar with. In addition to being a challenge, you may confuse the child if you do this for your own reasons rather than for the child's. But maybe you'll have thought this through long enough to do it right.

More alarming to some people is the possiblity or perception that your motivation is to fill a personal need. I'm not going to judge someone for that because it's a very common sentiment among humans. The concern is if this need is possibly unhealthy or would limit how you raise the child. Keep in mind your child is going to grow and grow, and is a lifetime job.

Being bi doesn't mean you can't stay married, that's either you or your boyfriend.
Reply With Quote
(#73 (permalink))
alanX's Avatar
alanX (Offline)
The Psychedelic Traveler
Posts: 1,114
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: An arrogant nation.
Send a message via Skype™ to alanX
02-22-2009, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by Nyororin View Post
Let me just ask point blank - What, other than selfishness, is your reason for wanting a "Japanese" child?

If you want a biological child, then have a biological child. If you want to adopt and give a child a home, adopt a child in need.

Unless you are part Japanese, which you say you aren`t, there is no reason other than selfishness to pick and choose based on nationality.
Couldn't agree more. It's a bad, childish, and un-thought-out plan in general. Think of what the child will go through.

Reply With Quote
(#74 (permalink))
MMM's Avatar
MMM (Offline)
JF Ossan
Posts: 12,201
Join Date: Jun 2007
02-22-2009, 09:38 PM

To Alan and Sdbri...

This is a good example of necroposting.

Keep in mind you are responding to someone who hasn't logged into this site in over a year.
Reply With Quote
(#75 (permalink))
ChibiSeme's Avatar
ChibiSeme (Offline)
Posts: 35
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New England
Send a message via AIM to ChibiSeme Send a message via MSN to ChibiSeme
02-25-2009, 04:54 PM

Well what about adopting in China? I think there are more children in need there? Not to be racists...

Also...adopting a Japanese child in Japan can be tricky and they may not allow you to do adopting...but I guess this is over with

Last edited by ChibiSeme : 02-25-2009 at 04:57 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#76 (permalink))
Starairi's Avatar
Starairi (Offline)
Fukuoka resident
Posts: 60
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Japan
Send a message via MSN to Starairi
03-02-2009, 06:33 PM

Wow, what a fairytale you have spun in your mind...

Crazy norwegain person
Reply With Quote
(#77 (permalink))
KitSeraphina's Avatar
KitSeraphina (Offline)
New to JF
Posts: 13
Join Date: May 2009
05-05-2009, 03:57 PM

This is a very intersting post if I must say. I see your views Kal3ido, I was on your side for a few posts. But I do also agree with many others here. You are ingoring your birthright, africian american, because your culture has flaws. It does seem selfish of you because you want a specific child. But in the way you wish to raise the child you would most likely do more harm then good.
To me the is the wrong reasons to adopt and I'm sorry but I think your being selfish as well.
Here are your reasons for wanting this child.
-Asain"s normally be at the top of there class and how hard they study and also how they are raised( Sure alot are and yes its because they have disapline. But any child can be disaplined)
-Every parent pretty much lives through there children.( This sort of angered me, what kinda of good parent lives through thier child? To me it seemed wrong. Now it sounds as if you will force the culture onto them when they will be living as others said in america.Learn yourself it will be more fulfilling.)

Really I do understand your intentions espeacially when you said the bad outways the good. But thats the part of being in this world, you just have to help create more good, like teaching children good.
In my opinion why not have a child, whether adopt or a bank, and if you like the japanese culture so much why not raise 'your' child in that way. But don't suffocate its other origins. If you adopt a japanese child into america it will learn the american ways you don't want it to. American will be its heritage, by blood or not, the same as an american child going to japan.

Thats just my two cents though...sorry if my spelling is bad. And sorry I ment no harshness or disrespect. Just my thought ^.^
Reply With Quote
(#78 (permalink))
bELyVIS's Avatar
bELyVIS (Offline)
JF Old Timer
Posts: 682
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Texas
05-05-2009, 05:27 PM

A Japanese couple adopts a African (black, can be from any country but trying to be politically correct) baby and you get a black Japanese.

A black (again from any country) couple adopts a Japanese baby and you get an child who looks like a Japanese, but takes after the parent's home culture.

Point being is what most here have been saying, the baby will take on the culture of the parents. Even if the OP raises the child in Japan, the child will never truly be Japanese. This child is likely to be shunned there too because it won't fit in completely.
None of this matters because if Japan won't let me and my Japanese wife adopt a baby there, you don't have a chance either.
I have to agree with Ronin4hire (has Hell froze over?), you need counseling before you do any adopting.

The World's only Belly Dancing Elvis Impersonator!
Reply With Quote
(#79 (permalink))
dogsbody70 (Offline)
Busier Than Shinjuku Station
Posts: 1,928
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South coast England
07-27-2010, 02:25 PM

this conversation brings to my mind this famous wisdom from KAHLIL GIBRAN


"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may house their bodies, but not souls.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Copyright 2003-2006 Virtual Japan.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6