I'm only 18 but I'm already worrying about parenting... Will I be a good mother?

[rina26]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Actually in this thread, a lot of people haven't. I was sharing my beliefs, I wasn't telling her she was wrong, just that I didn't believe that it was right to be thinking about those things at such a young age.

I also said I could be totally wrong based on the fact I don't like children. That was the significance of my comment.

Calm down I was only teasing...really, you take my comments way too seriously.

[MissMisa]

Originally Posted by rina26

Calm down I was only teasing...really, you take my comments way too seriously.

Ah sorry! It's really hard to tell when people are being serious or joking online ^___^;;

[Paul11]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Even so, it doesn't mean I will. There are so many reasons I do not want them. In my opinion they are a waste of time, effort, and money.

Again it's the whole, you are 17 so you'll change your mind thing xD

Again, it's not about changing your mind - body chemistry. That's like saying you probably won't becoem hungry.

[MissMisa]

Originally Posted by Paul11

Again, it's not about changing your mind - body chemistry. That's like saying you probably won't becoem hungry.

There are plenty of people that don't have children.

[Asakura]

I'm Afraid of being a parent. One of my biggest fears is that I'll mistreat my children. Not by spanking or disiplining them but something serious. And I dunno it scares me alot.

[Dainty]

There is no need to be worried about all this.
Once the time comes and you have your first child, it will come naturally.
I'm only 15 (16 on the 18th), but I hear/read/see it all the time. People in fear of being a good mother, but once the time happens, all the fear is gone and it all comes naturally.

And there is no need to quit your job to be a good mother. That's ridiculous.

And anyways, you're only 18 and have your life ahead of you. I'd just relax and have fun. Worrying about all of this now is not good for you.

[Sangetsu]

There are a lot of nonsense replies in this thread. It's not difficult to raise a child, how many children do you see on any given day? People who waste too much time thinking about the particulars often overlook the bigger picture.

Firstly, there is no perfect time to have a child. You can say "I'll wait until I'm 30" only to find that you are too busy with other things when the time comes. Let things occur naturally, and the child will come when nature decides.

I've already said that it isn't difficult to raise a child, pretty much anyone can do it. But raising a child properly is another matter. Each person's definition of "properly" is probably a little different, but the basic idea is the same; you want your child to grow up to be an honest and responsible person.

In order to teach honesty and responsibility, you need to practice them yourself. Children learn more by example than by any other means. Do not lie to your children, and be sure to teach them that there are consequences for all actions in life, good and bad.

Don't be too much of a "friend" to your children. You are a parent, not a friend. Let them explore, let them experiment, but set firm boundaries. Some actions are unacceptable, and the earlier they learn that, the less grief they (and you) will experience later on in life.

Keep an eye on your children's friends. There will always be at least one bad one; children learn as much from their friends as they do from their parents. When children have problems in life and in school, it is often due to a lack of attention from their parents, and this lack is often made up for by their friends. Like it or not, children often behave like their friends do, if these friends are good, it's not a problem, but if they are bad, then your child may begin to behave as they do.

Raising children is an important responsibility, the most important. Once you have children, everything else become secondary. We live on through our children, and the natural way of things is that we prepare our children for life so that theirs is at least a little better than ours.

[DivineBled]

Very well said **

[Bureda]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

There are a lot of nonsense replies in this thread. It's not difficult to raise a child, how many children do you see on any given day? People who waste too much time thinking about the particulars often overlook the bigger picture.

Firstly, there is no perfect time to have a child. You can say "I'll wait until I'm 30" only to find that you are too busy with other things when the time comes. Let things occur naturally, and the child will come when nature decides.

I've already said that it isn't difficult to raise a child, pretty much anyone can do it. But raising a child properly is another matter. Each person's definition of "properly" is probably a little different, but the basic idea is the same; you want your child to grow up to be an honest and responsible person.

In order to teach honesty and responsibility, you need to practice them yourself. Children learn more by example than by any other means. Do not lie to your children, and be sure to teach them that there are consequences for all actions in life, good and bad.

Don't be too much of a "friend" to your children. You are a parent, not a friend. Let them explore, let them experiment, but set firm boundaries. Some actions are unacceptable, and the earlier they learn that, the less grief they (and you) will experience later on in life.

Keep an eye on your children's friends. There will always be at least one bad one; children learn as much from their friends as they do from their parents. When children have problems in life and in school, it is often due to a lack of attention from their parents, and this lack is often made up for by their friends. Like it or not, children often behave like their friends do, if these friends are good, it's not a problem, but if they are bad, then your child may begin to behave as they do.

Raising children is an important responsibility, the most important. Once you have children, everything else become secondary. We live on through our children, and the natural way of things is that we prepare our children for life so that theirs is at least a little better than ours.

Sangetsu's advice is top class. Everyone should read it.

I also want to bold out that fact that there's not one given way to raise a child every parent is different, the media bulls when they tell you how a parent should be. A parent should act responsibly depending on the situation. You Must act as a parent when raising him/her, and then later on in life when they are old enough they can be your friend. =]

If you think of your child as a friend you'll have problems raising them in their teen years.

[StarlessXXXnight]

Originally Posted by Eidrib

Hi...

I'm planning to marry my current lover in about a decade (lol)... I dream of living with him and raising our children and living happily... but I'm excessively worried that I might not be a good mom... I worry about it and cry about it all day because I'm such a crybaby and I'm so clumsy... also I know that people learn from their own parents what they shouldn't do to their own child because they know how it feels... yet still children are annoyed or upset by what their parents do...

I'm so lost because if you scold children they will hate you (and even kill you, like it happens a lot in Japan) and if you let them play they will become spoiled... and I myself, I'm such a crybaby but still I really want to have a child... will I ever be a good mother? I don't believe that taking parenting lessons alone won't make me a good mother...

Sob. Please help.

Dun worry, i sure you would a great mother. you dun hav 2 cry bout. Hey, think of the positive side. You never noe wad the future. Maybe, four years down the road, you would be voted for the best mother awards. Seriously, dun worry, hav more faith in yourself. And bout the clumisness. I am aso very clusmy myself. Thus, i always get scolded by my mum. k, wad i am saying is tat many ppl are also clumsy and i tink tat clumisness is wad make the girls cuter. u noe, in manga and anime(if you ever read or watch one), the main heroin is alway clusmy and tat make the main guy fall for her, rite? so, juz imagine yourself as the main heroin. And last, about scolding children. yes, i know, many children would get angry when their mother scold them. i, too, get angry with my mother when she scold and i always told myself tat i would never talk to her again. But, you noe wad, i can never do it. maybe, i can stop talking to her for one day but never more than two days. and you noe why, because i love her and i know that she scold me for my own good. it help me to change into a better person. So i am sure that your future kids would understand why you scold them and tat when you scold them, it shows that you care for them. Even though, they might get angry and might say that they hate you when you scold them, but i sure deep down inside they dun mean it and they still love you, cause no kids can ever hate their parents. I noe tat wad i say might not help you much but i juz want you know that it is not a unclumsiness and stong woman makes a good mother but it is love and compassion that make a wonderful mother. Remember, hav more faith in yourself. You can do it.