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06-21-2009, 05:00 AM
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I figured the last thing I would want would be to have a disabled kid. Physical disability, yeah, I figured I could handle that - but mental disability? No way. Then stuff happened. I tried to make the choice to let my son die (he was technically a miscarriage, if I were to go into detail - he was about to die inside and be naturally aborted from what I understand) but he was past viability so was extracted and put in the hospital. There was no way to know what would happen, and things were happening quickly enough that there really wasn`t a point where you could say "Wait, I don`t want this kid." All I could do was stand by an incubator and hope that if he was going to have a poor quality of life that he pass away quickly and with little suffering. And then after 5 months when he was released from intensive care we got the news on the brain damage (not a huge surprise) but after all that time it wasn`t as if you could just say no to taking him home. Most of the time you don`t know the kid has a disability until they`ve been around for years and you`ve gotten attached and invested a bunch of time and money into them. And at that point, I think it would be very hard to just call it quits - especially when you really don`t know how bad things will be until the kid is a lot older. Even more so if most everything else is close to perfect. Disability or not, my son is still one of the best behaved kids I know. And that is saying a lot as most parents are fairly attentive in Japan. Behaving like a spoilt brat is never cute. Even with an "excuse" I still wouldn`t tolerate that crap. Run around in a store messing with stuff? We`re leaving, NOW. I cannot stand people who just stand by giggling as their kid breaks every rule of being in public. Sure, it may seem cute at 2, but how about at 4 or 5? You`ve just been supporting their behavior all along so it will really come back and bite you when you decide they`re too old for it. 
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06-21-2009, 09:42 AM
Nyororin, if my wife can display even half of the mothering qualities you have to my child, I'll be a very fortunate man with a very fortunate child.
I guess I cannot say how I'll go through it (disabilities) until it does happen (if ever). Even if I say I know. So I'll just leave that. The eternal Saint is calling, through the ages she has told. The ages have not listened; the will of faith has grown old…
For forever she will wander, for forever she withholds; the Demon King is on his way, you’d best not be learned untold…
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06-21-2009, 11:30 AM
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Like I said, I understand the extra work, but at the end of the day, if it happens, live and let live with a smile. I guess we ALL have different personalities. You seem to be trying to over prove something here and I am just not getting it, although I respect your opinion. I am getting the message that you expect people to feel sorry for you of which I do not. I can here your negative thought's on spoilt kids as being brats and thank you for your opinion, however, and I repeat, It does not change my perspective on people with disabilities. Cheers - Oz
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06-21-2009, 12:35 PM
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It`s that you said THIS Quote:
If you cannot see why I am left stunned (along with some others...) then really, there is not much else I can say. I thought the example of saying you wished your kid were malnourished too because he is too big to the parent of a starving child would make it clearer, but I guess not. *sigh*
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06-21-2009, 12:43 PM
Nyorin, I'm not sure what I was saying their but of course I do not wish my son was disabled.
Having said that, I am trying to say here that I feel for you, your son and hope all is as happy as can be. I am also saying for me, If my son was disabled, It wouldn't make me think he was less cuter and I am sure of that. I also realize that your son's disability must make things a little more difficult for Mum and Dad, but hey, that's life ne, or is that just me? I am also trying to say that if I knew you personally as a friend, you would understand much clearer. I had a disabled boy in one of my classes in Japan.. Nine students, one boy had a disability.. I'm not sure what exactly was wrong, but it drove me NUTS how his mum would pay special attention and all I wanted to do was treat him the same as all the students and not make him feel "special" which I thought would make him feel comfortable naturally. It worked and he flourished in my class. Things were good.. Cheers - Oz
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06-22-2009, 02:40 AM
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The eternal Saint is calling, through the ages she has told. The ages have not listened; the will of faith has grown old…
For forever she will wander, for forever she withholds; the Demon King is on his way, you’d best not be learned untold…
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06-22-2009, 03:03 AM
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 Good luck with the marriage and making the kids, that's the fun part, then the labor of love starts and please keep in mind that your kids, no matter if they are mixed or otherwise, should be treasured for who they are and not what their heritage is.
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06-22-2009, 03:18 AM
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If it wants to be treasured then it has to earn that, anyway. The eternal Saint is calling, through the ages she has told. The ages have not listened; the will of faith has grown old…
For forever she will wander, for forever she withholds; the Demon King is on his way, you’d best not be learned untold…
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06-22-2009, 03:57 AM
I am from Brazil and I know some people that are mixed japaneses. It seems that the niponic genes tend to overcome the western ones =P
In this article in Wikipedia you can see that the japanese brazilians aren't any different from the ones in Japan. Japanese Brazilian - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I believe that the diet is the cause of some corporal small differences, like the size of the breasts, height and so on. Just to note: I am mixed of portuguese, german and amerindian... xD
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06-22-2009, 04:16 AM
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Damn I wonder if Tiger Woods ever regreted that his Mom was Thai  Parents insecurities have a funny way of getting passed down to their children. I just hope that your child manages to find a way to overlook and outgrow one of his or her parents ignorance.
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