Help finding a Child Friendly and laid back RURAL location
 

I am a single parent, and I intend on applying for the JET programme 2011. I would like to opt for a more quiet lifestyle. My son is 5 and would be attending a Japanese kindergarten.

I would like to know if anyone on here knows of a warmer, town/village that has a nice kindergarten, lower cost of living, close to coast (sea of japan, or pacific).

Please tell me your experience of living in rural Japan, or else please tell of experiences as JET ALT with children.

:rheart:

You can choose what type of environment you want to live in on the application.

Pretty much any place south of Hokkaido is "warmer". I don't think that will be the problem.

I am curious, however, if they will hire a single parent with a child. JET is essentially designed for single people. It is a one-way exchange program. Therefore there is a plane ticket for you, a single apartment, etc. set up in advance for a single person. There are times when you will need to stay overnight at places outside of home (like the renewer's conference), and these situations are not designed for children.

I realize that may be sound like a form of discrimination, and maybe it is, but unfortunately I can imagine the hiring committee thinking bringing a child is going to cause a lot of headaches for the school you are placed in. Naturally you are going to need assistance with school for your child, daycare,a pediatrician, etc. This may work against you.

I too sort of doubt that JET will be too keen on hiring a single parent, but who knows.

Any location away from the big cities will pretty much fit your criteria. Avoid Hokkaido and the mountains, and it will be "warmer" - although I am not sure of what you mean by that. Warmer than what?
Most communities have a preschool (hoikuen) - the nationally run version of kindergarten... But if you want a private kindergarten you may have to look around for one as they become scarce in the countryside.
The cost of living also drops anywhere outside the major cities. Or, really, outside the prefectures around Tokyo and the immediate area around Osaka. Most of the rest of the country is lower in cost.

I see you posted another thread with similar criteria, so I`ll stick my reply on that one in here too.

Most anything south of Tokyo doesn`t get much snow at all. Far south and you get blistering summers.

I would be hard pressed to come up with a location in Japan that did not have access to fresh fish. You could live somewhere the furthest from the coast as possible, and still have fresh sashimi grade fish available in every store.

Be aware that Japanese "cities" are not always "cities" by the commonly understood meaning of the word. It`s a term used for administrative purposes. 50 relatively isolated villages and towns over a huge area can be called a "city". They are just administered as a whole and not individually.
On the other hand, you can have a "town" or "village" that is tiny in size, and crammed literally in the middle of an urban area. It just chose to administer itself rather than joining the city.

A better question would be what is an unsafe prefecture. There are very few bad areas in Japan, and the ones I can think of are in Tokyo and Osaka. There really is no such thing as an unsafe prefecture.

Anything in the prefectures around Tokyo risks being urban or at the least very "extended urban / suburban" and not rural.

My personal suggestion would be to look into the mountains, and along the northern coast.

Just for the record MMM, (at least in my prefecture) they don't send you away to any "renewers conference" any more. I think they chose to cut that out of the program(me) because it was considered a waste of money.

I've heard of parents/couples in JET before, but never have I heard of a single parent. If I were a single parent, JET (or something like it) is not something I'd like to do. The logistics of dealing with daycare and the like would be outrageous. As far as the "overnight stuff" goes (which you might have depending on your school) you can, and teachers often do, opt out of going. However, there are different "enkais" (I guess dinners/banquets with your coworkers) that you will have to go to out of obligation especially if you are in the inaka.

I live in the inaka. The town that I live in is one of the easiest and most comfortable places to live (as far as I'm concenred). The prefecture is often voted as being the place with the happiest/most satisfied residents (or something to that degree). However, there are areas that are EXTREMELY hard to live in. I'm talking having to drive like a half hour or an hour to get to a super market and getting snowed in during the winter (and having to shovel snow every single time you move your car). There is always the chance that you will get a place like that.

I'm just gonna say, I think your child will probably learn some Japanese while he or she is here, but I think it would hurt his or her overall education if it's only going to last for a couple of years (as the Japanese will likely be forgotten in 10 years or so). So if you speak and understand Japanese really well, then maybe. If you don't speak Japanese really well, then I think it would be a risk for your child (think about your kid getting really sick in a foreign country in which you don't speak the language too well... and you're in the mountains in the middle of nowhere.... when it's snowing). I am 100% sure that will happen if you get accepted. I think the program will think of this and immediately say no, so I wouldn't put any high hopes on getting in. I'm sorry to be so straight, but I think that's how it will go. If you are completely serious and prepared for everything then there is no sense in not trying though.

Would the mountains and northern coast not be cooler in the winter, Nyororin?

I am not sure where the OP is located, but finding a relatively dangerous prefecture in Japan is like looking for an empty glass at a bounenkai. (Too obscure?) There just aren't any.

I have not traveled extensively in Chiba, but my impression was it is pretty urban. I lived in Amagasaki, which is an industrial city between Kobe and Osaka. Actually there are several cities between Kobe and Osaka but riding a train it would almost be impossible to tell where one city ends and the next one begins (a couple rivers give hints).

However, if you go north to central and northern coast Hyogo there is a real distinction between the forests and mountains and the very small towns the pop up here and there.

Thank you for the replies, some information is helpful indeed.

Steven those obstacles you mention are those that I deal with on a daily basis in my own country anyway. Sure things would be much harder in a foreign country. Ask any single parent, they know what hard is, and would probably bang their chest and say, c'mon bring me some more. The logistics of dealing with daycare... logistics don't change that much with a partner.
Do people not use babysitters in Japan? (For the dinners etc)
If I were on a JET salary, surely in a remote area I could afford to pay somebody to mind my child at neccessary times.

For those curious if they would hire me. I'll let you know how it goes.

:-)

Keep the ideas of locations/experiences from parents coming! Much appreciated.

Mountains in the south - no.
The northern coast, in most places no. The ocean keeps the winter mild, but also keeps summer a bit milder.

Mountains along the northern coast? That would be one to avoid, but not what I intended to suggest.

This may be a surprise to you - but they do not.
Japan simply does not have a culture of babysitting. The idea actually tends to shock a lot of people as it is simply not done.

You can find evening/night childcare services, but expect to pay enough that it WOULD be pretty painful even on a JET salary (6000yen/hr after 8pm). And that is in the city, where you can actually find that sort of service. I can guarantee there would be nothing of the sort in the countryside.
You may find info on inexpensive babysitting services, but they are provided by the local government only in the event of an emergency (usually medical) which a dinner is not.

I understand that being a single parent is a stress anywhere, but single parent culture in Japan is very very niche and the type of support you are accustomed to is likely not going to be found. Daycare/preschool/kindergarten is an end at 3pm thing - and you can pay a huge extra fee to get them to extend it to 5pm at the latest.

In most cases single parents choose to live close to or with their extended family for the childcare grandparents provide.

When this isn`t possible, what happens is that single parents receive government housing support to reduce their cost of living and take on employment that can be tailored to fit the childcare schedule.

The other way around isn`t feasible at least until later in the child`s schooling. (ie. There are after elementary school programs at libraries, etc, that last until 6pm, and then after 3rd grade last until 7pm.)

But these are things you really would have to be in the city to even find. A rural setting is pretty much to the last place I would choose to go as a single parent with no family support.

Compared to the US, babysitters are pretty rare in Japan. Couples would either not "go out" or drop the child off with a relative. (Adoption outside of families is also very rare.)

Just curious, how is your Japanese?

I understand being a single mom makes you a bit thick skinned and a problem solver, but imagine being a college student in America, and then imagine being a college student in a country where you don't speak the language and few speak English. Everything becomes a challenge. It's one thing when a college student can't find a fresh milk or find a doctor, but it is different when the mother of a 5-year-old can't. I am not saying this is my thinking, but may be the thinking of your potential employer.

In some ways it is like applying to be a au pair or a camp counselor as a single parent.

I like the points that you both make, and it makes me consider that I must be wise in my choice of location, and must make my survivability obvious in my application.
Studied Japanese for a few years at university, but actually ended up in Mexico for two years and became fluent in Spanish. So the basics and capacity to learn Japanese are all there. Time to brush up.
MMM I like how you compare Jet to Au pairs. However, I have certainly heard interesting stories of single mothers and overseas employment. Being one, I visit plenty of forums. Speaking of...I shall now investigate whether au pairs like Japan :-P

There are no au pairs in Japan. Just as there aren't any in the US. US has nannies. You won't find those in Japan, either. Having non-family take care of your children after 5pm is a kind of foreign idea.

I am glad to hear you have studied some Japanese. That is going to go a long way in terms of survivability.

I wouldn't spend too much time dwelling on the choice of location, as that is just a question on the application that is asked in case they WANT you so bad they will pull strings to get you into the exact location you want.

Let me put it this way, I requested Tokyo, Nagoya and Fukuoka, (because I had friends in each of those cities) and got a city outside of Osaka, nowhere near any of my choices. In the end, I wouldn't have changed a thing. However, I spent 15 minutes thinking of my placement "choices". In reality, they will place you wherever they want to, assuming they hire you. The program has been shrinking over the last eight years, and the number of applicants has been going up. It is very competitive now.

It just so happened that I went to four different day cares in my area for work recently. I asked them how their hours were (beign a foreigner living in Japan, I like to learn about stuff like that to kind of build my understanding of the mechanics of things). They said that the preschools will usually end at around 5 or 6. Sometimes kids have to stay later because their parents are both working. However, not every school will have those late hours, so sometimes they move the kids around in the evenings. Also, Saturdays and Sundays are unusual (Sundays I think being non existant except once in a blue moon at one of the schools). So on Saturdays (and sometimes Sundays) parents will bring their kids to a school that is open. As a JET, you WILL work on the weekends occasionally.

Just pause for a second and imagine trying to deal with all that in a foreign language... while you're busy with work. If you're in the super country side, mind you, this situation may not even exist at all (as in no "practical" daycare).

Incidentally, even in the country side, grandparents are looking after their grandchildren less and less (not that there's anything against that... maybe they have other grandchildren they look after or maybe they live in another area).

Another thing you should consider is bullying. I'm the type that thinks a little bit of bullying (both ways) is a pretty natural and normal thing that happens with kids, but sometimes things can go too far. If you have a foreign kid in a pre school in Japan, they will be bullied on a daily basis for sure (not necessarily physically, but verbally). I'm not sure how that would work with a language barrier though. There was one kid at one of the day cares who was foreign (who was basically Japanese with a foreign face), and you could tell that kids would get on his case some times (although most of the time they were friendly to him). Depending on your kid or the kids that are bullying, that could escalate into behavioral problems that would be hard for the day care people to deal with (as your kid might not speak Japanese and they certainly won't speak English).

One other thing you need to think about is the fact that you are a single parent. I'm not going to speculate and say why you are a single parent, but the Japanese in your "country side" community certainly will. I feel like I'm going too far for saying that, but you will definitely get questioned about that ALL THE TIME. I can say that where I live, while they are increasing more and more, divorces are seen as the cause for a lot of problems that kids have. Even being a JET, you are still considered a government employee with which comes a lot of responsibilities (like being a model citizen). There are certainly exceptions in the ALT community as well as the Japanese community to what I just said, but it is certainly expected of everyone.

As far as the "Sea of Japan" side of Japan, the winters are pretty harsh. I've never really travelled far during the winter, the most I've seen is Ishikawa and Toyama during the winter and they get pretty good now (and thunder snow, which is apparently a rare occurance in this world). I suspect Fukui would get a lot of snow. Niigata... well I'm fairly certain the book titled "Snow Country" was set in Niigata, so I'll just leave it at that. When you get stuck in the mountains of those areas, the amount of snow can get crazy.

I'm sure you are very strong and ready to take on anything, as a single parent and all, but how does your kid think about that? Do you think your kid would be able to deal with such a 180 degree change in life? I agree with what MMM said, from JET's point of view, I don't really see why they would hire you over a single person (ie no kids & no partner) who has just graduated from college. You'd better think of some very good reasons why they would if you want to get in. That's the reality of this as I see it.

EDIT: Espie, how old are you by the way? Also, although they may say this every where they have JET offices, apparently getting into JET through the Los Angeles branch is the hardest of all of them as there are the most applicants from that area. In otherwords if you are in LA then your chances are very slim... but that is for them to decide and not me of course.

Thank you for your replies. I consider them to be relevant and honest to the point of your knowledge.
I'm 29, from New Zealand, PGDip 2010, Blonde.
LOL

I don't want to discourage Espie from applying. If she can get in, great! If they can accommodate her family, great!

As a JET I think my work day was done around 4:30...if that is the case then day care that ends at 5 will work. I think I was asked to work 35 hours a week. In my time I think I was asked to be somewhere on a Saturday maybe once a year from my school. I was also supposed to go to the renewer's conference, which it sounds like has been cancelled. (Too bad. It was a real good time.).

Your point about bullying is worth considering. I guess I would worry less about bullying at the elementary school age because of skin color, but more from language ability. I don't know if Japanese schools have JSL programs like the ESL programs we have in the US. I worry more about hazing at the JH and high school levels, but kids can be cruel at any age.

Thanks MMM, an encouraging reply. There are always ways to do things. If you want it enough, right? Anyway, there is always plan B, C, and D. :)
My son would start elementary school in Japan next August (if my arrival is April, he may come later on, once I am settled) or endure a few months of kindergarten. Other forums have mentioned how it is valuable that they attend some kindergarten as it is less regimented and they can adapt at a more relaxed pace. My son is adaptable, highly sociable and of a more blending ethnicity (not blonde).

I guess what I meant by rural from my original question is somewhere with plenty of parks, less congested, with easy access to countryside.. pop 5,000 to 30,000+ as opposed to 300,000 to millions.

Are all the ads fake? Nobody comes to Japan to au pair on a working holiday visa?

I think that to make this leap you have to do a lot of exaggerating. Foreign kids don`t necessarily get bullied on a daily basis even in higher grades, let alone in kindergarten/preschool where bullying itself is pretty close to nil.
Maybe kids will be curious. Maybe they will be cautious. But bullying is a completely different world.
In preschool kids barely NOTICE, let alone discriminate based on skin color. My son looks pretty foreign and the difference kids can come up with when pressed is that he has lighter colored hair. Not a single experience of bullying even though he is slower than the rest of the kids and has other issues.

The type of bullying you`re thinking of is the 3rd grade and up stuff. When the kids are old enough to notice the difference, know what it is, but not be able to reason and deal with feelings about it and the reactions of other children to it.

Fukui, Shiga, and Ishikawa get very little snow along the coast. Niigata is famous for the snow, but even there along the coast it is fairly mild. It`s stuff that is on the other side of the mountains from the coast (Warm ocean air rises and hits the colder drier air from the other side of the mountains - overtaking it and snowing like crazy on the mountains and the opposite side from the ocean.)
When there is snow along the coast it tends to melt right away and not stick. I think I have seen maybe one or two cases of snow actually sticking in the 10 years we`ve been hopping back and forth to the Fukui coast.... And it is almost always warmer up there than here.

When it comes to preschool/kindergarten... I really do not think things are going to be anywhere near as simple as it may seem.
The long day places aimed at working parents (hoikuen) generally have waiting lists. You register your child at least 6 months before you need them to start, and in some cases a year if there are more kids than spots. You cannot just walk up and enroll, especially if you need to make use of longer hours. Also - when it ends at 5, it ends at 5. You need to be there BEFORE 5pm or your emergency contact will be called. I have seen cases of parentss not getting there by 5:15 and the preschool handing the child over to the local children`s service, while contacting the parent`s work, relatives, and the police.
It does get slightly easier in elementary school as you can register for afterschool programs... But as a single parent, you may not find those what you want. For every one in this area at least, you are obligated to volunteer one day every two weeks at the least, and one weekend a month. The volunteer days are weekdays and begin at around 1:30pm, so you will need to have those days off work.

I don`t know how JET will handle this, but employers of single parents in Japan require childcare information to even receive the position. They will refuse to hire a person who cannot show that they have proper care for the child. This drops a lot of people in a catch-22 loop as in order to receive long hour childcare they have to display a need (a job with longer hours), but in order to get the job they have to show they have care providing the necessary hours.

The only "au pairs" I have ever seen or heard of in Japan have been those used by expat families.

Japan simply does not do babysitting and nannying type stuff.
The only au pair organizations in Japan are for Japanese wanting to do so outside of the country.

I do not know what the ads are for, but it is not something done in Japan. Chances are the ads are from companies doing worldwide au pair stuff, with Japan just included in the list... Even though there are no positions.

I would recommend Liberty International School in Tsukuba, Ibaraki. I worked there for a short while and I feel it fits your criteria. The staff are amazing and the lessons are of high quality. The head teacher and staff all speak Japanese and English so you will have no communication problems and Tsukuba is about as rural as you can get for what you want.

Libertyinternational.co.jp

If you have anymore questions PM me.

1) JETS arrive in July.

2) 5,000-30,000 is a city in Japan. Grassy parks are a luxury, and to be honest (no offense to Nyororin) I would not take a child to Japan to be raised there.

I`ll hold back any offense and ask for clarification on this one.

How is raising a child in the US so much better?

I should've clarified (and said it better) that I was judging what I said about the bullying thing off one experience. It is unfortunate, but the kids were able to tell that the kid was from another country and were quite apt at picking out all the differences. These kids were 4-5 years old. The kids name was different, his clothes were (a little) different, his manners were different, and his facial features were different. Not only did the other kids point this out (not all of them, but a few of them) but the teachers were quick to talk about him in a way that would differentiate him from the rest. It could be just the way it goes at that one school, but I was a little taken aback by the situation. The biggest thing that I noticed about the kid was that while he was perfectly fine language wise, there was something completely missing culturally (which is actually a language difficiency in my opinion... but that's another topic). I could not tell if he was doing certain things on purpose or not. I suspect that some of it was on purpose.

Judging by other preschools I've been to... I've definitely seen Japanese bullying Japanese both physically and verbally. It depends on the school and kids and stuff like that, but I've seen what I'd consider pretty bad situations. The kids usually just kinda tick without warning and start wreaking havoc on anything and anybody in their path until a teacher comes to stop them. So while in some schools I've seen bullying is non existant, in other schools it exists. This is very unfortunate though. I wonder how kids that young get to be that way... It sucks but it's totally there (even in the inaka).

Also drawing from my experience... at the elementary school level I did not notice any bullying of the foreign kids there. In fact, I thought the kids were great. This is definitely a characteristic of that school in particular though. The kids' manners weren't lacking though... if anything one kid in particular seemed to have a good sense of humor about his situation. The only thing that sticks out in my mind was him trying to locate his 'grandma's house' in America. It was a pretty big circle in America that he drew with his finger which drew a great big roaring laughter from everyone including the teacher. He took it in stride though and everyone was pretty understanding after he said he'd only been there a once or twice.

Also, Ishikawa prefecture is quite big. In some areas they get more snow than you could imagine. In other areas it's not so bad. When you start going up into Notto Hanto, then you start to see some serious snow. Even in the mountains dividing Kanazawa from Toyama are pretty bad. There was snow left this year all the way till June if I remember correctly (definitely in May though). At any rate, I like Fukui as a place to take a trip to, but I'm not so sure how easy it would be to live there (of course I'm imagining a town like Obama). There are quite a few cities (which are basically towns) that I'm quite fond of though-- Sabae being one of them (as an aside, they have what is so far my favorite Hard Off in all of Japan...Yamaha NS-10's for 3万, Focusrite Red 8 for 20万... shoulda coulda woulda... but I digress :P).

Espie, I'm sorry if you are already aware of this, but Japanese schools start in April and end in March. The JET program starts you in the summer 'vacation' that separates the first and second trimesters. I doubt that would matter at the preschool level, but it might make a difference in Elementary School. (but there are sometimes kids who do start in the second trimester so it's not impossible).

Espie, make sure your plans B, C, and D are solid. I've seen some people become really let down and depressed as a result of not making it in to this kind of thing. I think if you get dealt some good cards you could have a great time with your kid in Japan. You could also get here and live in hell for a year. If you get to the interview process, make sure you've played out a million different scenarios in your head of what they might ask you about how you're gonna cope with your kid in Japan. I kind of doubt that if they let you in they would place in you an area that would not be acommodating for you and your kid though... so maybe I'm overreacting and overthinking.

dude...come on..just face it..bullying is everywere. it is something that at one or the other instance has happened to everybody. and it should and im glad it does.
and i think it is important that it does happen. if it doesnt then the child would be socialy acward (did i spell it right?) probably having problems in later life to face the harsh facts.