Child Adoption

[Gackt21]

I was an adopted child until I married(as my parents say). If the child ever ask you about their family don't lie about them to the child. My adopted parents decribed to me how aweful my parents were when they did not know them. Make sure the child knows their heritage so that when they are grown they can go back if they want to. To their roots.

[UtakataChan]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

And to insert some reality into this thread....
Japan doesn`t have an adoption policy. Meaning there aren`t a whole lot of Japanese girls up for adoption *in* Japan, to Japanese parents... Let alone to those in other countries.

I would suggest China or Korea. I highly doubt you`ll ever be able to adopt from Japan.

Why is that? Where do all the Japanese orphans end up, then?

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by UtakataChan

Why is that? Where do all the Japanese orphans end up, then?

I should have written "international adoption policy" there, but the domestic policy is so flimsy to begin with that it had might as well not exist.

In general (I think I wrote this earlier in the thread) actual orphans usually end up living with family - aunts, uncles, older siblings, grandparents, etc. As blood ties are considered most important, most people who are unable to have children invest huge amounts of time and money into trying... But don`t consider adoption.

Most of the children in Japanese "orphanages" aren`t orphans at all, but children who are there temporarily - at least on paper. It is VERY rare for a parent to give up rights to their child. Instead, they put them in a home if they are unable to raise them with the ultimate goal (again, on paper) of coming back to get them once the living situation has changed. Does that always happen? No, but as they do not give the children up there are very few opportunities for another family to take the child.

Is it technically possible to adopt? Yes. But as there is not really any sort of adoption policy, it is difficult for someone even living in Japan. Babies are simply not up for adoption to begin with - I think the starting age that Japanese law allows a Japanese child to be put up for adoption at is 3... But of course, as there isn`t a strong policy to begin with, I`m sure there are exceptions.

I`ve known 2 girls in the US who were supposedly adopted from Japan... They were both actually Korean, but were just adopted via Japan.

The point is, you can`t just walk up and say "Hey, I want a kid from Japan!" and get one. The world does NOT work that way. Even in the countries that have very liberal international adoption policies, it`s still not even CLOSE to that easy.

[Tsuwabuki]

I am going to echo the sentiments stated earlier, and I'm sorry, I have to say it a way that might hurt some feelings:

This thread could very well have been a good one, for adults in Japan. However, this thread was not started by adults, and it is clear the the majority of the participants in this thread are children. Childhood fantasies about playing house are all fine in the appropriate forum, but considering the problems pointed out in adopting from Japan for those living IN Japan, I think the community would be better served by this being for information, regardless of the original intent. The roleplaying should be in a different place all together.

In fact, as I have tended to read various threads on this forum, I am disappointed in the complete and total lack of understanding of what it takes to move to another country, work in another country, and live your life in another country. There are visa laws to consider, qualifications, bank balances, labor law, unions, degree status, nationality... And that's just getting in! What about work, well, you have the same issues as you would in any western country. You can have bosses that cheat, you can have bad clients, you can have students who hate you, coworkers that want to sabotage you. And Japan is a cash based society, so you need a lot of it on hand to get stuff done. Let's not even discuss what it takes to get an apartment and how racist the process can be... and citizenship or permanent residency? Sure, it happens, but only if you're willing to put in the effort to jump through some very large hoops...

No, Japan is not just going to let you waltz in and no it's not a land filled with pocky, seifuku, and opportunities for all. And it certainly isn't going to hand you a Japanese baby.

To get this back to some sort of semblance of reality, I've always believed if I were to adopt I would take an older child, preteen or teen. That is the age I teach, and it's always harder, always more work, so few get adopted. It's much easier to take a baby than to take on the task of helping to rebuild an abandoned child's life. That's what, ultimately, I would think would be much more rewarding, even if I understood that the beginning might be the most difficult thing I had ever done. And it's sad that children above six get stuck in the system. I'm sure I am not the only who has this viewpoint.

[misheru24]

Hey,

I'm not an expert on adoption, but it would be worth checking out Welcome to Travel.State.Gov and clicking on the specific countries adoption policies, which can change from day to day. For example, Vietnam is not letting ANY Americans adopt from there for the time being and China has a stricter policy on adopting (for example, being 30+, married for a few years, etc.). Like I said though, these policies can change at a moment's notice, so it will be wise to keep up with them every once in a while.

And, reality check: 4-year-olds can be just as terrible as babies LOL! They still puke from time to time, get sick, have "bathroom accidents," whine, cry, just all the lovely things that makes you so glad you have them! AND they can walk and talk you death too LOL! Having kids can be a daunting and tiring task, one that surely doesn't get easier over time! Also ask yourself if you are willing to adopt a special needs child as well or how you will cope if it comes out that your child has some type of developmental delay.

It will be good to hang around people who have children and to get information from an international adoption group in your country that can help you with adoption resources. I'm happy for your decision and I wish you the best of luck. Happy research!

[sweetlolitachii]

If I ever want a kid, I think I'm going to adopt too. The reason is, I have a lot of medical health issues and I wouldn't want my kid to go through the same things that my mom/me have gone through. =( A Japanese girl sounds nice. ^^