Inter religious dating...

[Ronin4hire]

We all know Inter cultural dating is not an especiallty controversial issue these days... but what about Inter-religious dating?

As an Atheist I would have no problem dating a Muslim, Christian, <insert religion here> woman. The way I imagine it working is that I keep my beliefs (or lack of them) to myself and ideally she does too. Do you think this is a realistic mindset? I'd particularly like to hear from religious people on this.

[DivineBled]

I think you are being realistic, as long as the one doesn't force their religion onto their partner, then the inter-religious relationship should be fine.

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

We all know Inter cultural dating is not an especiallty controversial issue these days... but what about Inter-religious dating?

As an Atheist I would have no problem dating a Muslim, Christian, <insert religion here> woman. The way I imagine it working is that I keep my beliefs (or lack of them) to myself and ideally she does too. Do you think this is a realistic mindset? I'd particularly like to hear from religious people on this.

No.

Been there.
Done that (more than once).
Maybe I have learned not to do it again, but I doubt it.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by TalnSG

No.

Been there.
Done that (more than once).
Maybe I have learned not to do it again, but I doubt it.

What happened?

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

What happened?

Well I was raised non-denominational Protestant (Air Force base chapels), but over the course of a life time been Wiccan, Jewish, Atheist, Deist, and Taoist. I have a cousin who is a Christian minister, one who is a Mother Superior of the Sisters of Charity, one who is a fundamentalist cult member and I am part Cherokee. You could say spirituality is an active topic in my family. Guess what happens when some steers onto this subject. Can you imagine someone raised in that environment living with a partner who required that religion be a taboo subject? Between my background and my tendency to voice my opinion it just wouldn't work. And because of the varied background I don't handle being preached at very well at all - I tend to debate the issues that I don't agree with.

I officially converted to Judaism about a year after I married my southern baptist ex-husband. The wedding ceremony had been christian, but noting from the New Testament was never mentioned and my in-laws didn't even notice. Christmas was hysterical - a tree with all these gold Stars of David all over it. Everything was ok until I realised my path through Judiasm was transitory. When I turned to something more pagan than my husband was comfortable with I sensed his unvoiced discomfort. This created a rift that, while it was not the cause of our divorce, was a definite contributing factor in my departure.

In case you're still curious, the shift was a return to Daoist teachings and only the beginnings of my study of Hinduism and Qua'an Yin.

Later, some of that path conflicted with a lover that was a devotee of a more western pagan sect, who couldn't even accept my appreciation for Wicca and Cherokee spirituality.

[MMM]

It's all well and good until you marry and have children. Shockingly, both parents will want the child to follow THEIR faith.

In many religions, dating and marrying out of the religion is a no-no, so either love is more important, or your faith is.

If Jesus (or whatever) is more important than your partner, then don't date outside your religion, because the relationship will be doomed from the start.

If your partner is more important than Jesus, then do what feels right.

[Nki]

Sorry if this sound kind of stupid.. but what does "Religion" mean?.
((somebody, anybody??)

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by MMM

It's all well and good until you marry and have children. Shockingly, both parents will want the child to follow THEIR faith.

In many religions, dating and marrying out of the religion is a no-no, so either love is more important, or your faith is.

If Jesus (or whatever) is more important than your partner, then don't date outside your religion, because the relationship will be doomed from the start.

If your partner is more important than Jesus, then do what feels right.

And that choice is one of the reasons organized religions prohibit marriage outside your faith.

Religion - an established set of beliefs and practices regarding how the universe works (or doesn't).

[TalnSG]

I have come to understand that when a person truly believes and follows a faith/path/religion (however you describe a spiritual connection) it becomes impossible to "keep them to yourself" in an intimate relationship.

One reason is that it is an integral part of your personality, thought process and practices. Even if that path is the absolute absence of belief in a supreme being or any other power beyond the visible and proven it help mold who you are.

To be truly and reliably intimate with another person must not be any barriers. Eventually you have to know in your heart that the other person not only allows, but understands your belief system. They do not have share the practices, but when they don't support needs to be shown in some other way or insecurity creeps in. You have to be able to openly discuss anything.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by TalnSG

Well I was raised non-denominational Protestant (Air Force base chapels), but over the course of a life time been Wiccan, Jewish, Atheist, Deist, and Taoist. I have a cousin who is a Christian minister, one who is a Mother Superior of the Sisters of Charity, one who is a fundamentalist cult member and I am part Cherokee. You could say spirituality is an active topic in my family. Guess what happens when some steers onto this subject. Can you imagine someone raised in that environment living with a partner who required that religion be a taboo subject? Between my background and my tendency to voice my opinion it just wouldn't work. And because of the varied background I don't handle being preached at very well at all - I tend to debate the issues that I don't agree with.

I officially converted to Judaism about a year after I married my southern baptist ex-husband. The wedding ceremony had been christian, but noting from the New Testament was never mentioned and my in-laws didn't even notice. Christmas was hysterical - a tree with all these gold Stars of David all over it. Everything was ok until I realised my path through Judiasm was transitory. When I turned to something more pagan than my husband was comfortable with I sensed his unvoiced discomfort. This created a rift that, while it was not the cause of our divorce, was a definite contributing factor in my departure.

In case you're still curious, the shift was a return to Daoist teachings and only the beginnings of my study of Hinduism and Qua'an Yin.

Later, some of that path conflicted with a lover that was a devotee of a more western pagan sect, who couldn't even accept my appreciation for Wicca and Cherokee spirituality.

Wow... you've had some experience. Thanks for sharing I can see why you would think that Inter-religious dating is a bad idea. I suppose the key to my perception of how Inter-religious dating MIGHT work are that both parties are secular in their approach to each others, and their own beliefs. It sounds like your ex-husband was not like that, would you agree?