Opinions About My Long-Term Relationship?

[MissMisa]

I don't want to be mean, but 4 months dating online is not a long-term relationship. You don't know who this guy is, you don't know where he is living, you've never met him. He could be a random pedophile for all you know. You are only young and are probably wanting a boyfriend, and people can pray on this and the niavity of people your age. I say get rid of him unless you know for sure who he is, and get a real boyfriend. Or not, at 13 there is no need for one. Or at any age, no-one ever needs a boyfriend. There is 0.00001% you will marry this guy, and you shouldn't even consider this. And whatever you do, don't go meet him without an adult if you are thinking about that at all.

[MMM]

If you want to know if this relationship is real, you need something beyond words on a computer screen. Has he sent you a present? Have you talked to him on the telephone? Chatting online is easy. If marriage is the goal, you are just getting out of the gates, and have 1000 things you need to settle before that word should come up. And if it ISN'T the goal, then this boy is a little obsessive, and I recommend limiting communication.

BTW, do your parents know you are discussing marriage with a boy online?

[Kayci]

While I disagree that waiting for love until after 20's should be the case...
I do know you're not as ready as you seem, BECAUSE you're thirteen.

Heck, my ex and I had a three age year difference...I was 14, he was 17.
It was online and phone. Yeah, there was talk of marriage, etc, blah blah blah. But he didn't try for it, really, and I was too niave to understand. It became bad when he revealed his pedophilia tendencies, but soon as he got I would do my best to be loyal despite that vice, he went all out class A jackass on me. (Told the story on another thread in this part of the forum)

We were together for almost two years...I broke off with a "break" the day of our anniversary, and few days later, I broke up with him, 'cause I fell in love with someone who...well, valued me. That relationship is now long distance, but we send gifts- stopped sending notes 'cause him and his brothers poke fun at my handwriting~! DX- and we're in different countries now...we talk on phone, use webcam and mic, etc.

Me; America
Him; Japan.

Our parents on both sides, and though my dad is trying to be realistic and says it may not last, he's hoping it will. He has no problem calling him to random strangers- "Marriage material-after college, of course"

but anyways...
If he threatens suicide...that's not good.
does he have periods of black moods toward you?
I'd say to show real maturity? Step back and analyze.

You hope he could be everything you want, that you out of millions found him so young, but be careful.

[james1254]

Originally Posted by sweetlolitachii

Our age difference is about a 4 year difference. (I'm 13 and he's 16)

;

1. where i come from he would be a pedophile. I'm not sure about AU and US though, i think it depends on states and such.
2. he's on the other side of the world.
3. in on line relationships you don't ever know what there actually like.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by sweetlolitachii

I was wondering about some of your opinions about my situation.

Okay. I joined a forum last year and I fell in love with a boy on that forum who's from Australia. I live in America, so we're really REALLY far away from each other. In about 7 months after joining that forum, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Then we gave each other pictures of ourselves, and we also talk on Skype. Our age difference is about a 4 year difference. (I'm 13 and he's 16)

I think he's more in love with me than with him, and he's becoming determined to marry me someday; even though he's never met me physically. Then we had a conflict about my religion and he almost killed himself because he thought he couldn't be with me. We're back together again, and he's going to try to become a Christian now, because he wants to marry me someday. My mother said that he's starting to live in a fantasy future and that he needs to realize what he's in for, but my boyfriend's parents seem fine about it all.

We've been dating online for 4 months now. ^_^

---

So, what do you think? Is it impossible to meet? To marry? Or do you think that it is possible? I was just wondering, because so far I only have a few people's opinions about it. I'm merely curious. This is my first boyfriend. ^_^;

O.Ô

<-- speechless.

You just don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Dating online for 4 months, and he says he wants to marry you? lol This would make a fun plot for a movie. A cheap one.

Sorry to say, this is nothing like what having a (real) boyfriend feels like. Honestly, don’t put your hopes up too high... You may have the chance to meet him one day, and from there you can decide if you really want to move on to something serious that actually matters in the real world. But for the time being, get him out of your head and try not to think of him as a... future husband, especially since you're 13.

[xYinniex]

uhm, I personally wouldn't even count it as a proper relationship.
But thats just me

If a guy started chatting marriage to me, when I was 13, i would be soo totally freaked.

So ask yourself, are you infatuated with him? or do you love him, as a being, his flaws? Do you feel comfortable when he talks about marriage, It seems like you're not and if thats the case then you know that this 'relationship' is not really for you.

You've only met him online, people online never really show their flaws, Y'know.

You're 13, there's alot of time to get a boyfriend, but not right now. there's something infinitely wrong with getting into a relationship now because it fucks with your head, to put it bluntly. I have friends who are still headfucked over it, and they're 18 now.

[NanteNa]

I'm SO agreeing with your mothing on this one.

He seems very desperate. O_O As Yin mentioned, talking about marriage at age 13 (and 16 for that matter) is kinda insane. You're still young. You seem a little uncomfortable with him being so posessive and devoted. Maybe you need to tell him, that he should get a life beside the internet and that forum of yours.

[TalnSG]

Originally Posted by xYinniex

uhm, I personally wouldn't even count it as a proper relationship.
But thats just me

If a guy started chatting marriage to me, when I was 13, i would be soo totally freaked.

Oh dear, that brought up a memory! I had forgotten that I was 13 when my parents were approached about an arranged marriage for me! Thankfully that is just not a custom for Americans. But even it was more acceptable than what has been described here. This was to be arranged between the parents who had known each other for more than 30 years (though the prospective groom and I had only met one afternoon at a luncheon). Even though his family was going have me move to Mexico City and pay for private schooling and 4 years of college, a wedding before college was not even negotiable with them, much less my parents.

As to legalities mentioned earlier, while it is a criminal offense if a 16 year old has intercourse with 13 year old in the U.S., I don't think it would really be considered pedophilia o the part of someone only 16, unless the other person was far younger than 13. Just my guess though.

[sweetlolitachii]

0_0 Wow, thanks for the advise. Yeah, both of our parents know all about it, and if he ever did visit here I would be VERY cautious. Not because I wouldn't trust him, but because of how many times raping has happened before.

And I'm not setting my full hopes on us marrying, because I know it's VERY unlikely. But if by chance we're still together many years from now, I probably would. =/ I don't know. I love him a lot, and as long as he doesn't get perverted or anything like that, I'm willing to take the risk of him coming to America.

BTW we have a back-up plan for if he comes and our relationship doesn't work out. He's going to try to get into a university after he graduates from High School so the money getting him here wouldn't be wasted if something goes wrong...

Also, I was surprised by how many people replied. 0_0 I'm not used to such an active forum... ^_^; Thank you for all of your concern. It means a lot.

[Kayci]

Originally Posted by sweetlolitachii

0_0 Wow, thanks for the advise. Yeah, both of our parents know all about it, and if he ever did visit here I would be VERY cautious. Not because I wouldn't trust him, but because of how many times raping has happened before.

And I'm not setting my full hopes on us marrying, because I know it's VERY unlikely. But if by chance we're still together many years from now, I probably would. =/ I don't know. I love him a lot, and as long as he doesn't get perverted or anything like that, I'm willing to take the risk of him coming to America.

BTW we have a back-up plan for if he comes and our relationship doesn't work out. He's going to try to get into a university after he graduates from High School so the money getting him here wouldn't be wasted if something goes wrong...

Also, I was surprised by how many people replied. 0_0 I'm not used to such an active forum... ^_^; Thank you for all of your concern. It means a lot.

Now I'mma try to look at both sides; You're seeming to be very mature, not going "lol you guys suk" xD

But..I believe love can happen at any age, but some red flags did pop up...
So...maybe use this next month to analyze both your attitudes and dreams...
You're trying to be realistic, I know...but it's still not likely it'll past by your 16th birthday...
I'm not trying to shoot everything down...but..it's harder the younger you are