Newlywed concerns.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by TheLastFortnight

This thread is awful I think I'll throw something up. In a relationship each one must accept the other like he/she is, except for faults of personality. She will not have this kind of idea if he shows that he's satisfied with her like she is.

I agree. Newlyweds who are truly in love and know each other don't have these kinds of issues.

[superbike81]

We've been together for a year now, we are truly in love, so I don't see why that is coming into question. Some might say a year is too quick to get married, but I've been with a girl for 3 years before, and still wasn't sure I wanted to marry her. This is the real thing, we love each other very much

Now bringing up the self esteem issues is valid, but if she is doing things to improve her self-image, I don't see the problem. Could you explain this better please? Why is this an indicator for future problems?

Thanks for the responses everyone!

[MMM]

Originally Posted by superbike81

We've been together for a year now, we are truly in love, so I don't see why that is coming into question. Some might say a year is too quick to get married, but I've been with a girl for 3 years before, and still wasn't sure I wanted to marry her. This is the real thing, we love each other very much

Now bringing up the self esteem issues is valid, but if she is doing things to improve her self-image, I don't see the problem. Could you explain this better please? Why is this an indicator for future problems?

Thanks for the responses everyone!

She isn't trying to improve her self-image. She is trying to fit into the image of the girl she thinks you want.

What you need to do is 1) stop with the pornos because obviously it intimidates her and 2) convince her you love her for her, not for what she could be.

[Paul11]

Nyoryorin and MMM are totally correct. Forget the superficial stuff. Tell her you like her the way you are and just get to know her.

We don't really know the circumstances, so I don't think we can make decisions about someone's self esteem or your relatiopnship. Never presume to understand a relationship between a married couple.

JHowever, just get to know her and tell her you like her the way she is. The physicall passion will relax over time, the body will sag, only the heart will remain - so that should be your first concern.

[superbike81]

I have told her I love her exactly the way she is, MANY MANY MANY times, she still wants the surgery.

We watch porn when we go to Love Hotels (every other weekend), she likes watching it, I never suggested that she watch it, everything that she does, she does on her own.

Again, I appreciate the responses, but you guys are posting like I don't actually love her and I am trying to MAKE her change. I have been nothing but supportive, if she wants to change her appearance I will support her, if she wants to stay exactly as she is, I will still support her.

[JoshAussie]

are Love Hotels something most Japanese couples do? like on a regular basis? i cant really write out what im thinking i cant get it down in words.. i think i mean like are they used regularly by most japanese couples? like just something couples do without thinking about it or is it considered to be like i duno the word you know like kinki but theres another word for it haha

[MMM]

Originally Posted by superbike81

I have told her I love her exactly the way she is, MANY MANY MANY times, she still wants the surgery.

We watch porn when we go to Love Hotels (every other weekend), she likes watching it, I never suggested that she watch it, everything that she does, she does on her own.

Again, I appreciate the responses, but you guys are posting like I don't actually love her and I am trying to MAKE her change. I have been nothing but supportive, if she wants to change her appearance I will support her, if she wants to stay exactly as she is, I will still support her.

I never suggested you didn't love her. I just think you don't know her.

She's not abnormal, but not stable.

If you ever plan on hving kids, don't do the surgery.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

are Love Hotels something most Japanese couples do? like on a regular basis? i cant really write out what im thinking i cant get it down in words.. i think i mean like are they used regularly by most japanese couples? like just something couples do without thinking about it or is it considered to be like i duno the word you know like kinki but theres another word for it haha

Perfectly normal. Most people who are dating live with their parents so it is a place to go to enjoy each others company.

Though I don't hear about married couples going as often, as theoretically they have a home and privacy.

[Paul11]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

are Love Hotels something most Japanese couples do? like on a regular basis? i cant really write out what im thinking i cant get it down in words.. i think i mean like are they used regularly by most japanese couples? like just something couples do without thinking about it or is it considered to be like i duno the word you know like kinki but theres another word for it haha

Populated country, people always close by, adults live with parents until married and sometimes after, small house ... gotta find a place. They're a huge business.

[JoshAussie]

Originally Posted by Paul11

Populated country, people always close by, adults live with parents until married and sometimes after, small house ... gotta find a place. They're a huge business.

ah so i guess this goes with the not meeting the parents thing too? is it strange for a japanese couple to take gf/bf to there house i duno for like lunch or something? or is it totally hidden untill basically the marriage?

i find it so strange they you have to plan your time to "enjoy each others company" at a love hotel

the wonders of cultural differances..