JapanForum.com  


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
(#1 (permalink))
Old
Thunda's Avatar
Thunda (Offline)
Don't bother reading
 
Posts: 772
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Budapest
Send a message via MSN to Thunda
The line between love and friendship - 10-13-2008, 07:28 PM

Erm well I don't like opening new threads, especially relationship related ones. But there's something I wanna discuss. You may have been in situations when you couldn't tell if you were good friends or lovers. Have you talked about it, or you went for it? Were you afraid? Have you felt like you don't want to ruin the whole thing? Or you have and regretted it? Or you haven't...
Share your experiences and thoughts with me.
I wonder does the thread have a smell of immatureness?


Man I'm busy as hell. Hit me up on MSN or pm me.
Reply With Quote
(#2 (permalink))
Old
theAlphaDuck (Offline)
Banned
 
Posts: 167
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: London baby yea!
10-13-2008, 08:14 PM

some say...a good friend can be a great lover

i disagree

some say...a good lover can be a great friend

I agree

a good friend is something that is high up in social standing
a fuck-buddy is something that is lower than a friend

thus if you turn a good friend into a sex-flex...well that not going to end well...
your friends for a reason....
....if you sleep with a friend...someone is having feelings...thus

1. someone is getting hurt as that person wont be able to maintain sex-flex status and is secretly hoping for more

2. you start a relationship....and then more often than not...it goes sour...because the dynamic that worked so well as friends...is gone...forever

so basically....its a no go area...

if you must...

1. both get drunk
2. have tottally wild and crazy nite of sex
3. pretend you cant remember/it didnt happen
4. carry on as friends...but secretly enjoying the memory or sharing subtle jokes about it

this can at most be repeated about once a year...

not immature...good question

peace
Reply With Quote
(#3 (permalink))
Old
Suki's Avatar
Suki (Offline)
armed with a mind
 
Posts: 1,904
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Barcelona. beach side yeah!
Send a message via MSN to Suki
10-13-2008, 08:17 PM

My best friend became my boyfriend. Boyfriend of 3 years. Love can happen between best friends. Bad thing about it? If things don't go well, it'll never be the same between you two, so don't risk it unless you're fully sure she's worth a try.


everything is relative and contradictory ~
Reply With Quote
(#4 (permalink))
Old
Bureda (Offline)
Banned
 
Posts: 566
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: London
10-13-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunda View Post
Erm well I don't like opening new threads, especially relationship related ones. But there's something I wanna discuss. You may have been in situations when you couldn't tell if you were good friends or lovers. Have you talked about it, or you went for it? Were you afraid? Have you felt like you don't want to ruin the whole thing? Or you have and regretted it? Or you haven't...
Share your experiences and thoughts with me.
I wonder does the thread have a smell of immatureness?
The most neutral approach to this issue would be to talk to your counterpart.
Tell them straight: "Look, I got me these emotions lately, I felt like I should know and see how you feel/think. You do not have to return them, but it would be nice if you could evaluate them for me"

It will give you a peace of mind and not ruin the friendship. It might also give you access to the Amazon forest down thurrr.
Reply With Quote
(#5 (permalink))
Old
chibiloli93's Avatar
chibiloli93 (Offline)
Zero Luver!
 
Posts: 195
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: In Zero Kiryu's shirt pocket!
10-13-2008, 09:53 PM

I guess it really depends...how close u r 2 them, I mean...I'm only 15 & 1/2 so i wudn't kno...it also depends on how far u wud want 2 go in the relationship...I'm the kind of girl who falls head-over-heels easily...so Idk...I had a really great friend, and he was the sweetest guy ever! But, I knew that he only liked me as a friend...but if u confront her, it might make things akward 4 u...but, if u guys r really close, it shud work out in the end, i mean getting past the akwardness, part


Every place plays favorites -____-


http://xxbullet-proofxx.deviantart.com/
Reply With Quote
(#6 (permalink))
Old
reihiino's Avatar
reihiino (Offline)
The North Remembers
 
Posts: 582
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: TARDIS
10-13-2008, 10:09 PM

I had this FWB thing with one of my-coworkers not too long ago & to tell you the truth hes turning into a great friend...just like what AlphaDuck said . He thought it would have been awkward true but then I had to gently remind him that we were never bf & gf. It yes it was weird experience cuz i was the one that liked him first...but im glad things are the way the are with him now.


s the 10th doctor
s Verbal & Taku
Reply With Quote
(#7 (permalink))
Old
emmygirl121's Avatar
emmygirl121 (Offline)
Don't waste those words
 
Posts: 518
Join Date: Jul 2008
Send a message via AIM to emmygirl121
10-13-2008, 10:12 PM

I think if your relationship takes a step further than friendship, that's kinda the people involved choice, I have told one of my closest guy friends i liked him, and he was like umm.... ok, sorry but i like someone else, so it was kinda awkward. but I think people who are friends can take that step
Reply With Quote
(#8 (permalink))
Old
theAlphaDuck (Offline)
Banned
 
Posts: 167
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: London baby yea!
10-13-2008, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bureda View Post
Tell them straight: "Look, I got me these emotions lately, I felt like I should know and see how you feel/think. You do not have to return them, but it would be nice if you could evaluate them for me"

.
under NO circumstances should you or ANYONE ever do this.....i dont care if your drunk, high or with half a pound of mescelin in your gut..

no no no no no no no

that is possibly THE worst advice i have EVER heard....

that will give you all the "ive just fucked up a good friendship vibe" (if it all goes wrong) without the silver lining of the sex...

if you are atracted to her...(genuinly) she will be to you...thats how it works laddy....

hmmm my woman wants attention.....so i gotta go...

just dont do this.....

also remmebr....a female friend is THE best person to go out on the pull with...
a little thing called social proof...and the hotter the chick the better


mwhaaaaaaa.....bye bye

peace
Reply With Quote
(#9 (permalink))
Old
Bureda (Offline)
Banned
 
Posts: 566
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: London
10-14-2008, 12:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theAlphaDuck View Post
under NO circumstances should you or ANYONE ever do this.....i dont care if your drunk, high or with half a pound of mescelin in your gut..

no no no no no no no

that is possibly THE worst advice i have EVER heard....

that will give you all the "ive just fucked up a good friendship vibe" (if it all goes wrong) without the silver lining of the sex...

if you are atracted to her...(genuinly) she will be to you...thats how it works laddy....

hmmm my woman wants attention.....so i gotta go...

just dont do this.....

also remmebr....a female friend is THE best person to go out on the pull with...
a little thing called social proof...and the hotter the chick the better


mwhaaaaaaa.....bye bye

peace
Stop chatting shit mate, its a neutral advice. Duh. Its called getting to the bottom of things.
Reply With Quote
(#10 (permalink))
Old
ThirdSight's Avatar
ThirdSight (Offline)
Bane of Stupidity
 
Posts: 469
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Send a message via AIM to ThirdSight
10-14-2008, 04:54 AM

I am going to hijack the crap out of this thread because I had a similar question, and don't want to make a new thread for basically the same thing.

Everyone stay calm, this is a hijacking.

I'm diggin' a coworker of mine, and we've done a few things by ourselves, just the two of us; it's been real nice, even with little physicality to it all yet. Here's the rub: I'm getting all sorts of signals from this girl, all of which seem contradictory. First date, she invites me upstairs, but no moves are made. On another "date" (or whatever in the world you want to call it) she invites me upstairs again, teases me (least I think so) about me having to stay outside for a bit so she can clean up her lingerie hanging around her place, and as I'm leaving later on in the night, we're pretty much lingering in cold weather at what could amount to a romantic-comedy-gone-wrong goodbye.

My question? Where should I draw the line? Is it a friendship, something else? I'm at a loss, and I'm also in a position where I can't act too recklessly. We're co-workers, meaning that if I do something she considers out of context (a good night kiss let's say here), it could get gnarly at work.

Anyone have thoughts about this?


-M@

How in the world do people reach 1,000+ posts?


Skadoosh.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




Copyright 2003-2006 Virtual Japan.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6