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cyberfriend 11-03-2008 06:40 AM

Boyfriend & his Family
 
I've been seeing this guy for three months now I absolutly love him, I never tire of being around him until

He puts himself down.
He tells me he's giving his mom "more" money.
His sister isn't helping to pay the bills.
He's going hungry cause his mom &/or sister are eating food "I" bought for him.

I don't know what to do he's such a sweet guy most of the time until it comes to these things, how should I handle it? My mom tells me to keep my nose out of it but I care too much.

Rose 11-03-2008 06:49 AM

It' a really hard problem to solve. He has to support his family after all. Just talk to him and try to find a solution to the issue.

Uriko 11-03-2008 07:06 AM

dump him .

Rose 11-03-2008 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriko (Post 620476)
dump him .

Your answer and your avatar fit perfectly :p

MMM 11-03-2008 08:27 AM

You shouldn't be giving money to ANYBODY, much less a guy you've only been dating for three months.

derflinger 11-03-2008 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uriko (Post 620476)
dump him .

As always uriko gave us a sweet delicate answer:D

Hehe:D this kind of threads looks like Alladin Thread from Densha Otoko:D

I suggest this: Your guy wants help his family, try to get him out of home and spend time with him outside. How old is he?

Salvanas 11-03-2008 10:28 AM

I mostly agree with MMM here.

To be certain, how old are you?

Suki 11-03-2008 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salvanas (Post 620508)
how old are you?

And how old is he?

It's bad enough that he's accepting money from you, someone he's only been dating for 3 months. It's not your place to get his family our of their miserable situation, and he should realize that.

Bureda 11-03-2008 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyberfriend (Post 620467)
I've been seeing this guy for three months now I absolutly love him, I never tire of being around him until

He puts himself down.
He tells me he's giving his mom "more" money.
His sister isn't helping to pay the bills.
He's going hungry cause his mom &/or sister are eating food "I" bought for him.

I don't know what to do he's such a sweet guy most of the time until it comes to these things, how should I handle it? My mom tells me to keep my nose out of it but I care too much.

You don't care too much.

It is oblivious as the day of light that humans are born selfish. You might think you're being kind and helping him, but in truth its your selfish desire, to pity and feel good about yourself.

Anyway, psychology to the side.

You should tell this beggar of yours that you're not appreciating how he's leeching off you like a German hooker in a alleyway.

If all comes to worse he can find himself a simple job like in a warehouse and earn himself some well good dosh for just moving objects about.

I'd rather starve than beg people, but that's just me.

Even if he is Genuinely in a bad situation, you should give him advice to get back on track. He needs to sort himself out, and begging is certainly not the way to go about it.

theAlphaDuck 11-03-2008 04:08 PM

from what you say...he shows several signs of SEVERE insecurity.

your best bet is to
1. follow your mum's advice..stay out of the family buisness

BUT
2. Build up his self esteem...that way you will give him the strength to stick up for himself against his Family who are clearly taking advantage.

the little bit of "cod-cology" that bureda is touting is not REALLY aplicable here...
you are clearly infatuated with this boy...perhaps even in love...
in this situation we do for others we love as we would expect them to do for us.

its also quite clear that the "love Doctah" doesnt really understand your post...as he has told him to get a job...yet if he is giving his mom money...then he clearly already has one.

to be honest the fact that he is sticking up for his family...shows him to be a good person...and means that IF you become his family...you can expect the same level of dedication from him....

TREAD LIGHTLY....

like i said...build up his confidence....
but DO stop buying him food..(Something im sure he didn't ASK you to do)
if you feel the need to feed him....do so at your place...or at a cafe...or something....

good luck....


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