Girlfriend Trouble

[Jizzeez]

I have a problem. My Japanese girlfriend keeps threatening to leave me if I don't save more money. She is 35 and lives with her parents. I am 37. She is a permanent company employee and I am a temporary worker. I try to defend myself by saying I have more expenses to pay and that as a foreigner it is very difficult to find a permanent position in Japan. She says she cannot see a future with someone with little savings and an unstable job. I should add that I used a large part of my savings on graduate school and have not been able to replace them yet with a well paid position. My girlfriend only attended two year college and has never left home. She often stays at my place and does buy household items and food occasionally. She also pays for herself when we go out. She also says that basically she believes a man should support his wife after marriage. I feel it is unlikely that I can have a modern 50/50 style marriage with this person. She has also mentioned that she is better at managing money than I am, despite the fact that she hands over all her paycheck to her mum and is given spending money that can be refreshed if necessary. She said she doesn't even know how much money she has in the bank! She is good with money and I know it is not so strange to live at home until marriage in Japan, but really! It's hard to take criticism from a women that is not yet living in the real world. What do you guys think?

[MMM]

No permanent position, no marriage. You could be let go and sent home any minute.

She is 35 and is looking for stability...and you aren't bringing it.

[woodsonsan]

i think thats a little harse. maby u should start looking for a well paying job in your country then propose the idea of her leaving japan and living with u there. or maby u aint on dat hustle hard enuff. i mean honestly if u are 37 u should have at some point figured out how to manage your accounts and keep the misses happy. if shes worth then u should be able to find away to make your life work.

[spicytuna]

She's 35 and she's living with a her mother who redistributes her earnings? And you haven't reached stability at the age of 37?

I'm sorry but I just can't see a win-win combination here.

[Gwen_Goth]

quite simply it seems that you are both looking for different things in your lives, and you already seem to be drifting apart...

i'd say cut your losses and find someone who shares your sentiments and is a little more understanding of your financial situations and your life asperartions

[bELyVIS]

There is no stability in Japan if you are a foreigner. At 35 years old, she is not considered a catch in Japan, there is a reason she has not married before. I think you should look for a more modern thinking partner. Nowadays both partners need to work to get by, especially in Japan with the high cost of living.

[jewelpre]

Sorry to hear that , but its really unfortunate , may be you should find girl friend back home.

[Yuusuke]

well it looks like your out of luck, there will be other women,
and you should get your priorities straight b4 worrying about her.

[NanteNa]

Originally Posted by Jizzeez

She also pays for herself when we go out.

1) NEVER let a woman pay herself. I'm not saying that because I'm a girl, but because it's generally rude.

Originally Posted by Jizzeez

She also says that basically she believes a man should support his wife after marriage.

2) I agree with her. But marriage is not just husband and wife supporting each other. There has to be other values. Besides, in a relationship both parties have to support each other whether they're married or not.

Originally Posted by Jizzeez

I feel it is unlikely that I can have a modern 50/50 style marriage with this person.

3) Then what is actually your problem? That you don't want to face what you actually just wrote... right there? The solution is right in front of you. You cannot see yourself married to this person.. then what are you wasting your time for?

[chucky]

she's getting practical and do not see love as priority. Having a fling and having s serious relationship is different for Japanese Woman.