Question about Japanese women over 40 wanting to have foreigner's babies
 

This is going to sound strange enough but I am obliged to post this out of curiosity.

Please, correct me if I am wrong since I am not Japanese myself.

I heard of similar cases two or three times but I want to verify these findings.

I think Japanese women (and probably other foreign women) when they reach forties have a last biological pressure for having a baby. It is understandable to a point because women (and men) get self-realized when becoming mother or father. No problem with that.

Now, I heard of three cases where single Japanese women over 35 or 40 traveled overseas to just get pregnant from foreigners and get back to Japan to have their babies. They might spend some time with the foreigner to know him as a person but in all three cases Japanese women disappeared from the scene or the biological father´s world. I mean the biological father of the child finds himself unable to locate the Japanese single woman. In all three cases, they never consumated marriage.

Now, I met a Japanese single lady who had a friend who confidentially told her that she just came to a big city (I will not say which one) to have a baby just from any foreigner. That was her goal. I couldnt believe my ears and made me very sad to see the world come to this. They need the men just to have a baby...?

Thank you for your comments.

Attitudes towards single mothers is not as open and accepting as they are in America. I do know a few girls that did get pregnant when they were dating and in every single case they married their boyfriends...basically a shotgun wedding.

I have not heard of your phenomenon before.

Thank you MMM
 

Just my thoughts ...

A japanese lady who got pregnant accidentally in Japan would be under heavy pressure from not only her parents but also Japanese society. I believe she would carry a bad reputation at least in the past. She would lose face and family reputation is a precious asset in Japan. Probably, she would feel shame of people pointing at her. Well, I guess these things are changing in modern Japan but the old people would be there to project the right thing to do. For them, she did something wrong. In western world, it would not be such a big deal in that way.

Now, the cases I am talking about are different because they happened outside the Japanese soil. Japan is a compact society. It is very important to conform to your group behavior even when inwardly you might not feel like that. For example, everybody is drinking so one must drink too. It would be an offense not to do so. Again, maybe in modern Japan it would be OK not to drink particularly if one is gaijin.

The psychological profile of the Japanese woman that would fit the cases I have mentioned before would be a Japanese woman who has somekind of identity crisis wanting to leave Japan to become independent woman or get realized as an independent woman not subject to the Japanese men umbrella. She likes Japan but also has a problem with Japan. In Japan, she would have problem dealing with Japanese traditional men or not so traditional. They just dont like Japanese men. So, they tend to avoid relationship with Japanese men in their land and try foreigner boyfriend. Of course, reality hits them hard because they discover that it is not so easy to combine communication between two very different cultures. The exception would be a foreigner that understand Japanese mind. These women start having problems with the foreign man because, outwardly, they try to behave like a western woman but inwardly they still interpret things Japanese way. Western women have a self but there is no self in Japanese culture. One's self is the group one belongs to. Japanese assume different roles and behave accordingly. If they stay long enough overseas, they start to lose their Japanesehood because they have stayed long enough overseas as to lose the Japan society pressure to conform to a certain way to do things.

Now, she is somewhat different type of Japanese woman but also she is not quite a western woman. Of course, this is an illusion because you are what you are. One is not Japanese so one cannot pretend to be and think like a Japanese not matter how long one lives in Japan.

Having said that, at the end, this type of woman would have given up relationship with foreigner as impossible and having a Japanese husband would be out of question. Basically, she has a communication, relationship and identity problem. She is discovering her true self as a Japanese woman and staying away from Japanese men projection. She also wants to have a baby that ultimately would be her psychological husband. Her world would be the baby and nothing else. She would close relationship with men as impossible just not to face relationship problem.

She would project her ideal husband in the child. Something like creating a psychological husband from that child. That child would have the best of both worlds, Japan and foreign culture.

It might sound complicated to understand but these women exist and I believe it is a hidden social phenomena in Japan.

Just my thoughts ...

those are all nice theories, and a good read too.

i'm just curios, if their only goal is to have babies (without the hassle of a husband), why don't they choose in vitro fertilization (or any other effective assisted reproductive techniques) instead?

they do sell sperms from men that are considered to have good, healthy genes...

maybe the reason why they went to a foreign country and have lots of sex in hope of getting pregnant is far more economically acceptable than having an assisted pregnancy?

It`s a nice theory - but really is right in the middle of urban legend land.

A pregnancy without a partner is a pregnancy without a partner. You said they go back to Japan to have the babies. No one is going to give a crap about where they got pregnant... No, wait, they`d be even MORE ostracized as they`d gotten pregnant by a foreigner and had pretty much permanently removed themselves from the marriage market (no one will marry someone whose kids are so obviously not theirs).

It`s social suicide, both for the mother and the kids.

If the woman moved outside of Japan and never came back, this would be a totally different story and maybe - just maybe - the differences in ideals would come into play. But that is not what you are saying.

It sounds to me like you`re making up a population subset for your own entertainment. This is not a real phenomenon. I have never heard of a single case of this, short of one poor woman who was raped while on vacation in the US and decided to have the baby anyway... And who moved away in the end due to the sheer pressure of being not only a single mother, but with a clearly foreign child.

In joking, on the other hand, it`s not all that uncommon to say. Women tend to think that half babies are incredibly cute and more appealing than a regular Japanese baby... But would they actually go through with it? No.

ETA;
Thinking about this more - it sounds a lot lot more like culture shock and fear on the part of the mother. That isn`t uncommon at all. It usually happens that the guy wants to live in his country if married, and she is too scared to leave Japan... So the relationship ends and she runs back to Japan. That is a pretty common one. I find it quite doubtful that the women actually got pregnant or gave birth if they did though.

Wow, that's really interesting....I've never heard that one before...XD I'll keep my eyes out for that, but it could be true, yet it couldn't. Iono, it depends on the woman. X3

Thank you all
 

I am just exploring the subject so I am looking at it from every angle. Some western women might react same way too when they feel they are under biological pressure and think dealing with men is an impossible thing. There is an underlying frustration. "I will have the baby not matter what. I dont need men in my life" kind of thought.

You know this is not quite a theory because I have been told about this by Japanese women living overseas in their own words. Just once clearly and the other one was more of a hint. Believe me, it sounded so "out of the box" (depressing fact) that I became very motivated to research some more. They were women who have been overseas for quite a few years. The culture shock factor would be out of the equation. They would be westernized up to a point but with some frustration for not have been able to understand totally western mind. They are in a middle ground. They dont like aspects of Japan but also they dont succeed with their affective relationships with foreign men. When they approach 40, they might feel some pressure to have baby not matter what. It happens with some western women too. In Japan, they would have followed the normal thing to do like meeting someone, getting married to Japanese husband, have kids, etc. These women didnt accept that in their time so they decided to move out overseas to try something else. Then, they find they reach 40s and they are getting old and they dont have still a family plus they realize that relationship with foreigner is not as easy as it looked from the start. Some of them would succeed to understand western mind but others would stay in frustration.
Another thing, I believe Japanese women who have been overseas too long are not accepted as easily when they want to stay again in Japan. They are looked at as too westernized.

In vitro induced pregnancy would be very impersonal. One just doesnt know whose sperm that is. Too "scientific lab" thing to do.

Maybe they go back and maybe they dont. That would be up to the woman. I think that people in Tokyo would be more tolerant than say a small town in rural Japan.

Japanese modernity and westernization has affected Japanese women way of thinking at many levels. It is like Japanesehood is getting weaker (at least apparently... maybe Japanese are playing western outside but inside nothing has changed) but western mind is not quite there yet. Some Japanese women would do anything to move out overseas to explore. Very few of them will stay overseas for all their lifes but some of them do. I know cases.

For some Japanese women would be a nice thing to have a mixed baby without all the trouble that comes from having a gaijin husband (because all the communication trouble that that implies because of cultural difference).

I didnt mean they had sex with anyone randomly to get accidentally pregnant. Come on guys!! Japanese are risk averse by definition !! It would be carefully planned and "accidentally" looking and probably with the help of some sort of medicine.

Thank you and hoping to hear more comments.

Oh ... I like Japan very much. Japan is an interesting social phenomena in Asia. I hope I am not misunderstood. Sometimes I might not express my thoughts correctly.

Another thing
 

Think also about the numerous Japanese women (and asian) that go through plastic surgery to become more western looking. You know...bigger breast, more rounded eyes, sharper noise, etc. Some would pass as western women if one doesnt pay close attention. This people didnt get a change through a painful surgery just to get ostracized in their own society.

I am not looking at traditional Japan but to that Japan that is changing and up to a point is confused. Re-inventing Japan or discovering new identity of Japan to accomodate better or function more efficiently in the international community. Foreigners will be more and more relevant in Japan. This would be another complicated subject and out of my question.

JP Women
 

Hi

Ever since i came to Asian,Malaysia i have been searching for a JP lady,i don't mind settling down with a JP lady,i want to know why Asian ladies don't like Black men.

Hi Chinemere
 

Some of them do.

Who told you that they don't like black men? I know of a couple of black men who are married to Japanese ladies. Also, one of the black men I know is the biggest ladies man I ever met. He dates all kinds of women in Japan, Japanese mostly.
It is all in you attitude. If you think highly enough of yourself a lady will notice you and will date you no matter what race you are.

Where did you see/hear this? Let me guess... the Mainichi news? The same news site which claimed that Japanese mothers jerked off their sons during exam time to get their mind off of sex?

I've met hundreds of Japanese women living overseas and I've never heard of a single case of what you're saying.

Of course I've met my share of social outcasts who were escaping Japanese society and did everything to remain overseas. Some even went as far as to puncture the condoms they used on their men to get pregnant. However, your example seems to paint a different picture.

That is going to give me nightmares, thanks.:eek:

Hello Spicytuna
 

First of all, I will not generalize to all the Japanese women. It can happen with non Japanese too. However, the Japanese woman would leave him alone. The western woman most likely would demand rights from the biological father. Western woman has legal rights and Japanese woman would hide it. I dont know if she would have rights in Japan. In some asian countries, I know women dont have those rights. Law is behind.

Thats exactly what I meant, Spicytuna. You see, some Japanese women puncturing condoms to get pregnant. It is a different method but the same intention. Now, imagine she disappears just like that after you had sex with her for the last time. She suddenly disappears with no apparent reason. You have lived with her for many months, everything was going smoothly and suddenly she is gone.Now, you have a big question mark over your head. Remember this type of woman wants the baby without the man. She has problem dealing with men, Japanese or western. It doesnt matter.

These cases were told to me by a Japanese woman who is an old friend of mine. A Japanese lady friend of her commented her intentions and plans after arriving to a foreign country and search for male just for that exclusive purpose. Then my friend asked me what was my thought about that. I was shocked because it was so "out of the box". I have met online other case with similar pattern from a western man.

I have to admit, not many cases for now, but I want to know if this happens more than I might think. Sometimes, once we start looking and we become aware of this phenomena, cases start mushrooming around you.

Nothing is written on stone in this life.

In Spicytuna's case, it's women trying to get pregnant to stay in America (so the man will marry them)...the opposite of what you describe.

Mmm
 

I really dont know where they ended up. Maybe Japan or somewhere else.

"Outcast" is kind of strong word but some of these women just dont want to stay in Japan.

You know, there are criminal organizations that trade with children. I mean babies are sold like merchandise.

So, it might not be an extended practice but it sure happens.

Many single moms nowadays. We pre-assume that biological dad went away when maybe they just got pregnant and abandoned their biological dad.

Relationships are affected by economy. Men dont get stable jobs as easily so women kind of get desperate waiting and trying to find a suitable man. If it takes too long, they might go on their own and forget about men altogether.

:eek: Wow...i should be more careful from now on..

OK so i just asked about every Japanese women im friends with and could reach this late in the day to inquire about this since i have never in my life have heard of this so called phenomenon After listening to what they said it sounds like someone is pulling your leg man or at least this is the biggest case of misinformation i have heard this week.

From what i got lots of Japanese women tend to find foreign babies even mixed ones from different cultures cute but seems to be the extent of it. One of my friends stated that basically all Japanese babies look the same LOL which i find funny since some westerners say all Asians look alike. So it would not usual for some to look at babies from difficult cultures with interest and this they are cute kind of like looking at a new puppy :D but thats where it stops. Committing marriage suicide by getting pregnant and becoming a single mother is not in their best interest and being ostracized by the community is not favorable either.

So basically this is rubbish i know 2 single Japanese mothers but they live in the US and none them have any urge to return to Japan and even they said this a myth.

I am not sure where you are going with this.

You asked about a phenomenon no one else has heard of. I am not sure what more there is to say.

Thank you everybody
 

Japanese will always tell you what you want to hear.

In any case, thank you for your contributions.

This was just an open end exploration.

I am sorry. I hope I didnt offend anyone with my thoughts.


Thank you

Domo arigato gozaimashita

I am not sure why you are apologizing.

The only thing I'm offended with is all those Japanese girls who suddenly disappeared after our first night. :confused:

Ah well, at least they provided the protection.

I dont know if that deserves a tip of the hat or wag of the finger.

That`s the case outside of Japan. In Japan, things are quite a bit different.

On hand, I have figures from last year. In the US, 38% of children were born out of wedlock. The UK, 43%.
In Japan - only 2%.

In other words, it`s not exactly a "normal" thing. A mother who is not only single, but giving birth to and raising a mixed race child would stand out. And when I say stand out, I mean stand out. There would be no way whatsoever to pull it off quietly. Japanese society just isn`t like that.

If you want to get into conspiracy theories, etc, fine... But you`ve swerved far from reality.

I don`t know what you mean by this... That you were told something falsely, or that those of us who are shooting down your theory have been deceived.

The suspicious part of me thinks the OP started this thread in order to legitimize what is proving to be more of a rare, near-mythical occurance.