how to woo a j-boy?
 

how to woo a j-boy?

context: j-boy mid 30's and german girl mid 20's in japan

we've seen us almost daily since a few weeks, we know each other through friends. and well, i have a crush on him. we've already figured out to have same hobbies.

what can i do?
what mistakes should i avoid?
what are j-boys susceptible to?

i don't want to be pushy! i'm also very shy.

thanks in advance

umm....i would say to talk to a friend that is both friends with you and him and get her to tell him how you feel(if ur too shy to do it yourself)

No thats cowardice, he'll note that and won't respect it.
You have to gather the courage to talk with him.
If he asks you for your name, give it to him and then ask for his.
That should pretty much send him the message.
If he likes you back, then good for you, if not, then look for someone else. The world is a big place, theres always more men out there.

well i would say we pretty much became something you could call friends yet. me and my friends doing a long time stay here in japan (since one of my friends has family here). mostly we met at the evenig in a bar or in one of our hotel rooms, talk, drink a little, playing ps or wii. there also friends of him, too. well i would say that he has no idea about my feelings at all since i'm shy i also always tend to think about my feelings for while before doing something. what i would like to know is how i can approach him? you know i could judge the situation much better if he where german!

I really think your approaching this completely the wrong way.
Its good that you want to get to know the guy and good, do that, but don't over think things.
There is no particular angle on how to approach this.
Just be nice and courteous.
Don't let the fear choke your desire. Be strong.
Hang in there and just talk, like if it was nothing.
If you both feel comfortable with each other, the easier it is

Same way as any other guy, show him your boobs.

Context? who needs context when theres boobs?

The man has a fucking good point.

however.. my 2 cents is.

chances are he already likes you and knows you quite well if you have met him every evening for a week or 2.

so just ask him.

or both get drunk THEN ask him.


but thats probrably the student way of thinking.. sorry :P

|Seth

Ignore everything the last two previous posters posted.

OK, First of all, Don't know you.

Second of all, who are you to decide whos opinion counts? This is the INTERNET after all.

...it's serious business.

TakedaFanBoy, it's one thing to disagree. It's another to determine for someone else what they can and can't read, dependent solely on someone else's say so. Because actually, if they do, they wouldn't be listening to you in the first place.

Shad0w, hilariously pointless as it is, your advice had me almost inhaling a coffee granola bar. Great job. :P

Could it be cause this isn't the place to be joking around like that?

Taking things a bit too seriously, hm? Unless of course you're a close acquaintance of the original poster.

Yeah man, the internet is serious business. No-one tells jokes or fools around online.

I dont think its really that complicated maybe it is in your head and in these situations more often than not the person in question causes them self more mental headaches than the actually situation. There is no formula or secret methods everyone is different so using one persons success story wont really work for you.

Dont over think it just be yourself and talk to the guy. If he didnt have somewhat of an interest in you he would not hang out with you so often. Continue to build on the hobbies and interest you have discovered you both have and move from there, using your friendship as a stepping stone is a great start. There is no rush things dont have to happen tomorrow spending time together and having conversations is your best ally. Unless he is a real dunce he will start to notice you like him through body language and just in general.

good luck to you.:)

lets face it, he won't be any different from any other guy and to assume he will be because he hails from another country is racist and immature. OP should just grow up.

You guys need to grow up.

You can joke, w/e, but this is a place where the thread leader would like to keep things closely related to her topic and kept as brief as possible.

I'm astonished on how the Adm. or Mod. has yet to step in and say anything. Jokes don't help. This is a section where people want help, not jokes. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken anything in this section any one bit seriously.
Help may not mean a thing to you, but it does me.

Banned? Seems someone hit a nerve. LOL

Thanks whoever did that, was most deserved.

These threads are kinda entertaining, but its usually guys asking this about girls. Like I say in there threads, why does a guy from one country or ethnicity have to be different than the other. Not saying all guys have the same feelings or the same likes but, that it differs with any man, except which was pointed out on the first page lol.

One word... CULTURE!!!!

Believe it or not, culture helps define someone! If people really wanna be pedantic and say the crap along the lines of "we're all humans, we're the same blah blah blah", then any study of social life and culture should just be destroyed. A Japanese male is DIFFERENT to a French or German or whatever Male. Take a country in North Africa for example. If a woman tries to make the firsrt move on a man, the woman will get shot down straight away. It's almost guranteed. However, if a woman makes the first move in England say, the man is likely not to be phased at all...


So, its nice and romantic and politically correct or whatever to think that we're all the same in a sense, but just differ because we're individuals, but this isn't reality. Asking for advice about someone because they're Japanese doesn't mean someone is asking what are ALL Japanese like. There are always factors that are common amongst Nationalities!

Yikes those are alot of words, and alot of them make sense but shes not in Northern Africa, nor trying to make a move on a N.African man. So maybe what I was saying applies to countries less strict and flooded with television. Hmm so your saying that (being DIFFERENT) applies to all Japanese men?? Your telling me there all the same none can be influenced by N.America or Europe not even alittle. I think thats crazy, alot of men like different things, I did say that no???

... Japan isn't N.Africa, and it isn't Europe or N.America either. As for the Strict and TV remark, I'll just take it as you have no idea what N.Africa is like. Most people that can afford a home with electricity probably have more channels than any of us westernised ppl. If you just check an apartment block in any north African country, you'll probably see more satelite dishes than there are apartments.:) As for strictness... It has nothing to do with it being strict. You will not be arrested for behaving like a westerner. You will simply be looked down upon by others because of their Culture!

As for your last part. I'm not exactly sure what you're asking or what you think I said. To put it in simple terms. Yes, everyone is different, but ppl from the same culture are likely to have some similarities. Therefore, someone asking about how a Japanese man would react to something isn't a silly question.

For experience this is what i think
 

I advise you not to say to him and you should manage to not be very affectionate, because they scare it. The Japanese are extremely shy, I thinl that it is better that you try to be gentelly , not with gifts, but knowing what he likes, type of things and to involucrate in them. For them it is difficult to express their feelings, so if you can identify when he is sad, angry or others, and can you give him the necessary words at the right time, I think that he will value it enough. I hope that it can help you!! good louck!! japanese are great peopple...:)

I think, judging the way this girl is asking... she thinks japanese are some kind of abnormal and very different humans from us and that boobs won't work.

@ Juli: Approach him as you normally would with a guy the same race as yours, unless that guy is racist, which I doubt.

Race doesn't count when in love.

Tell him you have a slight crush on him and would like to know him better as a friend. Honesty is the best policy. :) He'll do one of three things: 1) reject you completely 2) reject you in a polite and indirect manner which is the customary way to go about rejection in Japan, or 3) He'll be delighted and reciprocate your feelings.

Life is too short to *wait* for the perfect moment, so you might as well just go for it and if he opts of number one, you'll know he wasn't a very nice guy to begin with and it wasn't meant to be. The second option wouldn't be bad either; it'll let you know you need to move on and not waste time.