I need some advice please

[gaijindude0854]

I need some help with a situation. I met tis girl here in Japan and hung out with her for about a month, then she moved to Tokyo. Anyway about 2 weeks ago we were talking online and I said i should come visit you sometime. She was like hey come stay with me for the weekend. Anyway I really like this girl and she seemed interested in me. Well anyway a couple of days ago I asked her what she did over the weekend. She was like I just chilled oh and talked to my bf in the states. I was a little shocked cause she had supposedly ended it with this guy when she moved back here. She said that her bf is super jealous that I'm hanging out with her this weekend. She didn't tell him that I would actually be staying at her place. She said don't worry I'll keep it a secret. This bummed me out cause I thought when she offered to let me stay alone with her that was a sign she was interested. So, now I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I should go see her and try to make a move or not. Anyway if anyone could give me some advice I would really appreciate it.

[Bureda]

You really this girl?

[gaijindude0854]

Ahh typo. My bad.

[Starairi]

If I where you I'd ask her straight out if she was into me or not. But that's me, maybe it's not something you would do.

(I'm a girl tho, so I don't really know how it's like from a guys perspective)

[Sangetsu]

Walk away and find someone better. If she is still calling someone else her boyfriend, then she is either fooling with him, or fooling with you. Life is too short to waste time in such a relationship. Even if she does dump her "boyfriend", the odds are pretty good that the same thing will one day happen to you.

Don't be one of "those guys" who lets himself get strung along by some girl who is only happy when one than one guy is interested in her. Such relationships have high drama value, but the more time you spend in such a relationship, the less opportunity you will have to find and experience a "normal" relationship.

If you are in Japan, then you are know that there are plenty of beautiful and interesting women here, finding a good one isn't that hard (if you try).

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

Walk away and find someone better. If she is still calling someone else her boyfriend, then she is either fooling with him, or fooling with you. Life is too short to waste time in such a relationship. Even if she does dump her "boyfriend", the odds are pretty good that the same thing will one day happen to you.

Don't be one of "those guys" who lets himself get strung along by some girl who is only happy when one than one guy is interested in her. Such relationships have high drama value, but the more time you spend in such a relationship, the less opportunity you will have to find and experience a "normal" relationship.

If you are in Japan, then you are know that there are plenty of beautiful and interesting women here, finding a good one isn't that hard (if you try).

Good advice... though we should also be open to the possibility that this woman was just being friendly from the beginning and that the OP being a guy was reading way too much in her friendliness.

If that is the case then my advice would be to simply enjoy the fact that you have a new friend. If you can't do that well then you're a creep and her hospitality and open kindness, which is such a good behavioural trait in my opinion is wasted on a narrow minded creep like you.

[gaijindude0854]

Sangetsu thanks for the advice. I guess I should just find another girl. Unfortunately I live in the inaka so I have to go to the city to meet young women. Anyway some other girl will hopefully be better than her. I just couldn't understand why this girl told me that she was so excited to see me and she was looking forward to spending the whole weekend with me.

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

Good advice... though we should also be open to the possibility that this woman was just being friendly from the beginning and that the OP being a guy was reading way too much in her friendliness.

If that is the case then my advice would be to simply enjoy the fact that you have a new friend. If you can't do that well then you're a creep and her hospitality and open kindness, which is such a good behavioural trait in my opinion is wasted on a narrow minded creep like you.

From my experience here in Japan when a girl wants you to stay at her place for the weekend it means that she is interested in being more than friends. So basically I'm a narrow minded creep cause I'm into a girl? That doesn't make sense to me.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by gaijindude0854

From my experience here in Japan when a girl wants you to stay at her place for the weekend it means that she is interested in being more than friends. So basically I'm a narrow minded creep cause I'm into a girl? That doesn't make sense to me.

Are you implying that all Japanese girls are the same?

Unless you have some sort of cultural basis for this assumption that she would be interested in you because she invited you back to hers then that's what you're saying in effect if you're referencing experience.

BTW- I clearly said IF

If that is the case, and if you can't accept her friendship or her kindness for what it is... THEN you're a creep.

[Nyororin]

I would go. An invitation to stay with someone isn`t always a quick way of saying they want more of a relationship. I`d say the fact that she is bringing her boyfriend up at all is a hint in this direction...

IF she does try to move on to something more while you`re there - leave. If she is talking about her boyfriend and is willing to cheat on him, chances are she`ll do the same to you if you end up together.

[SephirothVVC]

she definitely does sound like shes trying to have 2 guys at once... this is a shitty idea but you could say you have a GF and see how she reacts. if she wants you to "cheat" on your imaginary GF then shes a bitch, if shes happy for you you could be friends

dont go telling me how shitty of an idea this is...cuz i know, youll be wasting your time