feelings, should I avoid to speak about it?

[isisbathory]

So, I havent seen a post about this, and I have been asking myself this question for some time now...
So I have one friend from japan, we used to get along very well, and we would speak very often, but after a while he started to avoid me, I didnt really understand why, but as I thought I was just making up stuff in my mind, I didnt spoke to him about it, but about a month ago, I got really sad about this, and I spoke to a friend who knows him, I explained to her, that I do understand that this thing of culture may give a bit of trouble, because it seems like its not very common to them to express their feelings for friends, and all of that. Well she told me to speak with him, and I did...
I asked him, if I had said anything wrong, or something like that, I said I was sorry and "bla bla bla"...
After some time, he answered me saying, that there was nothing wrong that he just didnt had the time to come online, though I thought he was lying because I would often see him comming online, but not speaking to me...
So I decided to send him a message saying that I wouldnt write to him again...
He answered me though it was quite "cold" he just said, ok, feel free to write whenever you want...

And now I feel really sad, because I really liked him as a friend...Is this my fault? Shouldnt I have spoken so freely about my feelings for him?
Am I an horrible person?
I really want my friend back, though I think I've messed up big...

[nobora]

Message him agian and tell him your sorry that you'll wait for him to be ready to talk to you. I hope you get your friend back I really do cuz I know how you feel.

[isisbathory]

Originally Posted by nobora

Message him agian and tell him your sorry that you'll wait for him to be ready to talk to you. I hope you get your friend back I really do cuz I know how you feel.

I often think about that possibility of sending him another message, but I am afraid of being rejected...Is this normal?

[nobora]

Originally Posted by isisbathory

I often think about that possibility of sending him another message, but I am afraid of being rejected...Is this normal?

Yes, it is normal. Having the feeling of uncertainty of not knowing what will happen of thinking it might work but later having a thought that itll make things worse it happends to everyone. Everyone thinks this way. But Im sure this is the best thing you can do right now.

[isisbathory]

Originally Posted by nobora

Yes, it is normal. Having the feeling of uncertainty of not knowing what will happen of thinking it might work but later having a thought that itll make things worse it happends to everyone. Everyone thinks this way. But Im sure this is the best thing you can do right now.

My head seems like its gonna blow with so many thoughts...Im really confused, but thank you for your advice

[nobora]

Originally Posted by isisbathory

My head seems like its gonna blow with so many thoughts...Im really confused, but thank you for your advice

Your welcome if you need more help or someone to talk to just PM me ok^^

[letstalk]

If he does not want to contact you, better not to try.Just move one and find another friend.

[JackIsLost]

did you at one point want to be more than friends with him? you are expressing a lot of emotion towards this person. sorry to break it to you, but from his actions he does not feel the say way towards you. if i am out of line, i am sorry. i am just trying to decipher what he is doing to you. it may be difficult for you at the moment, but try to quit him cold turkey until he drops you a message.

[ozkai]

Originally Posted by isisbathory

So, I havent seen a post about this, and I have been asking myself this question for some time now...
So I have one friend from japan, we used to get along very well, and we would speak very often, but after a while he started to avoid me, I didnt really understand why, but as I thought I was just making up stuff in my mind, I didnt spoke to him about it, but about a month ago, I got really sad about this, and I spoke to a friend who knows him, I explained to her, that I do understand that this thing of culture may give a bit of trouble, because it seems like its not very common to them to express their feelings for friends, and all of that. Well she told me to speak with him, and I did...
I asked him, if I had said anything wrong, or something like that, I said I was sorry and "bla bla bla"...
After some time, he answered me saying, that there was nothing wrong that he just didnt had the time to come online, though I thought he was lying because I would often see him comming online, but not speaking to me...
So I decided to send him a message saying that I wouldnt write to him again...
He answered me though it was quite "cold" he just said, ok, feel free to write whenever you want...

And now I feel really sad, because I really liked him as a friend...Is this my fault? Shouldnt I have spoken so freely about my feelings for him?
Am I an horrible person?
I really want my friend back, though I think I've messed up big...

Maybe your parents or school teachers could give you a better explanation.

[isisbathory]

Originally Posted by JackIsLost

did you at one point want to be more than friends with him? you are expressing a lot of emotion towards this person. sorry to break it to you, but from his actions he does not feel the say way towards you. if i am out of line, i am sorry. i am just trying to decipher what he is doing to you. it may be difficult for you at the moment, but try to quit him cold turkey until he drops you a message.

No, no, no more than friendship, I just get on with him very well, I like to talk to him, I think he is funny, but no more than that. I just feel, that sometimes I am not good enough to be his friend. Sometimes I dont really trust myself, and think that Im doing everything wrong, specially now, I think I have messed up big with my friend